Unsupportive In A Time Of Need

[purplemist]

I broke my femur on Christmas night it just snapped so after major surgery and being told very long recovery period.Approx 2 years He seems to have turned his back and switched off to me and recovery. My daughter has done all the cooking,cleaning,washing and caring for me.We had to cancel our wedding that was supposed to be on the 6th April.He has other things going on to we run our own business so he is doing by himself but i am trying to help as much as possible from home with that.He got done drink driving and lost his licence almost immediately after i came home from the hospital so he has not been able to help me with getting out the house or much else.Which would make me want to help more and be there more for me at home but he has done the exact opposite.It was also the season where he plays sport, he managed to keep that a major priority going out partying every weekend sometimes not coming home at all or in the early hours of the morning, then sleeping all weekend before back to work , as well as the business but said that because of this he did not have the time for me as he was so time poor doing these things. The fact is he is just very poor at time management and chooses to not make me a priority. Neither of us can move house at the moment so we are stuck in the same house together with my teenage daughter. Everyday i am at home alone while my daughter goes to school and he works very long hours even though half the time it is not necessary, he just prefers to be there than being home with me dealing with my injury and recovery. He is emotionally unavailable on every level and is only concerned with himself and his quality of life and well being and argues with me and makes every conversation about himself. I try to talk to him about how i am feeling but it always turns into an conversation about him and his many feelings and issues.He wants me to support him in every way but will not give an ounce in return and sees no problem with this. My full recovery is 6-18 months away, being able to drive myself is about 3 - 6 months. As i cannot leave until i am able to work and earn an income i need to find ways to deal with the situation emotionally for myself and daughter. I have been doing ok but have started to come unstuck recently.Any ideas of how to stay positive and emotionally stable to help myself and my recovery.

[Doolhof]

Hi purplemist,

It certainly does sound like you are stuck one way or another.

Are there any support groups in your region that may be able to help somehow?

Maybe if you call the Beyond Blue support line, the people answering may be able to give you some ideas of options.

Have you had a chat with Centrelink to see if they can assist you in any way if you did try to leave now?

Do you have hobbies or interests you could become more involved in? Do you like to read? Is there a library close to you where your daughter could borrow books and magazines for you?

Maybe you could start to write a story, it might help to fill some of your time.

Do you like arts and crafts? Can you do those from home?

It is difficult when you don't feel supported and cared for. Right now it is hard for you to do a lot for yourself as well. That must be difficult for you.

Hopefully you can find positive ways to fill your day and help yourself feel better about who you are and where you want to be in the future.

Wishing you well, cheers from Dools