Trying to let go

[Mememo]

I've been living with a good man for 2 years and I've made some mistakes. I am disappointing him all the time. I feel desperate that he loves me. It's can be both terrible but when he loves me it's the height of love and wonderful and I'm on cloud nine. He has broken up with me several times and then we've worked it out but it's left me insecure and needy. I think so much of this person and it hurts so much that he might want me gone. I feel like I can't handle life without him but I know I have to let him go. If it's meant to be he will still love me. How do I stay ok when I'm doing this? I'm heartbroken.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Re: "If it's meant to be he will still love me."  I dont resign to this idealology.  I said to my auntie when I was 15yo "whatever happens, happens" and she replied "whatever happens, happens due to your decision to make it happen". So with your partner YOU have the power to make for a more secure relationship and there are many ways for you to ensure this.

Couples counselling is, I'd suggest, mandatory for you both. It is so much better a counsellor drawing out your insecurities and his true feelings of love for you than you alone going through this journey.

You could also repost here and explain the reasons surrounding your separations, we just might be able to advise based on our own lived experiences.

In the meantime feel proud you did post here, that takes courage and as a fellow worrier, you seem to be a very considerate and kind person. It isnt all bad ok.

TonyWK

[jaz28]

Hi Mememo,

I am sorry you are going through relationship troubles right now, that is always hard. A rocky relationship like yours can pave the way for trust and abandonment issues. Again, you have to ask yourself whether this off and on relationship is contributing anything positive to your life (other than the small amounts of time when it is good)? Is it worth your time? You may be better off letting go and seeing where life takes you - you may even meet someone better one day, learn from your mistakes and grow, and this person may treat you better 😃

You can handle much more than you think, you are stronger than you know! You must ask yourselves these questions, and think about what your life could be like in good ways without this person in it. You will be OK if you aren't together one day. I am sorry that you are heartbroken, things like this are never easy..

Keep your head up,

Jaz xx