Trouble moving on

[interstater10]

I have been separated from my wife for two years, she was having an affair and refused to repair the marriage, she is still seeing the other man, not living with him, she refuses to let me see my son, and involves the other man in his live, this creates great anger for me, I believe I still have feeling for her, and she at times users this against me, at times she will flirt with me via text, messanger, sending me naughty pics etc, then bang I find out she's still seeing him or worst she at his house while doing it.

at times I really want to hurt this bloke, to make him pay for destroying my family, in the back of my head I'm hanging on to hope, despite the damage she has done to the Marriage.

[white knight]

Hi interstater, welcome to Beyond Blue forum

I don't know why you want to hurt this man, the lover of your estranged wife. He has done nothing but act on attraction of a woman willing to leave her husband for. Sure this might be an initial reaction but think about it further.

The problem here is that your ex is playing with your feelings. You need to take some steps to a/ allow access to your child and b/ to move on from her.

Seek a family lawyer to secure you rights as the father of this poor child. Accept that this woman isn't good for you and move on. You can do this by changing your phone number.

Be strong.

Move away from violent thoughts.

Time heals.

Tony WK

[geoff]

dear Interstater, hi and great to talk to you under extreme circumstances.

Your wife is only trying to tease you with those pictures and texts, or perhaps make you feel jealous, not that she would ever return to you, and personally I would never want her back, because it will only happen time after time and will eventually happen to this fellow as well.

You don't know how many guys she has in toe, but legally you are allowed to see your son unless she has made a court ruling, but if this did happen you would have been notified by mail.

What you need to do is get a lawyer or legal aid to take on your case so that you are able to see your son, I only hope that he hasn't been tarnished by your wife.

People do have crushes on people or when they see someone they feel attracted to, but it stops there, knowing that they shouldn't take that extra step, or stick to their marriage vows, but with your wife all of these have failed and taken up the challenge with new guy.

I realise that you want to hurt this chap, but really it's your wife who is to blame, she is the one who hasn't kept her vows and for what ever the reason was why she left.

Good luck and keep us in touch. Geoff.