Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Categories
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

Anthony1 Separation with Kids Involved
  • replies: 4

Hi, My marriage is ending after almost ten years. We have two wonderful kids together. The relationship has been under stress for a couple of years. Main problem has been my wife is very aggressive and wants things a certain way and in the face of th... View more

Hi, My marriage is ending after almost ten years. We have two wonderful kids together. The relationship has been under stress for a couple of years. Main problem has been my wife is very aggressive and wants things a certain way and in the face of this I retreat and avoid conflict. This is a very broad explanation of course. I have been studying at uni to become a teacher but have had to defer until things get better. My wife has already started seeing someone else and stays with him alot and the kids miss her. I have to try and get a new job so I can move out and get a nice place for my kids near their school but its so expensive. I don't know whats going to happen and my main concern is my kids and my mental health. I am seeing a counsellor and talk to friends. Initially my wife suppported me staying in our unit and continuing with uni but things change every day it seems and now she wants me to find a job and move out so she can rent the place out. Feeling lost and like life has taken a surreal turn. I just want to be set up with my kids in a nice place, but I don't feel like I have any control. I want to avoid any legal stuff and to behave like "adults" but its hard...

boilingpoint I think my mum is a narcissist
  • replies: 22

I am 40 and have just realised whats wrong with my mother, I think she has NPD. Last straw was when she picked a fight (wasn't really a fight) packed her bags while staying at my house and just left 3 days before xmas. Like I was not worth talking to... View more

I am 40 and have just realised whats wrong with my mother, I think she has NPD. Last straw was when she picked a fight (wasn't really a fight) packed her bags while staying at my house and just left 3 days before xmas. Like I was not worth talking to sort things out, left me very easily. So I have decided no contact was the way to go. Realised a grieved for a mother a never really had but wanted so much, relaised she never did really love me and never will. Though do I still let her see my kids - her grandkids? Is it fair to not let her see her grandkids though what if she hurts them too as they grow older? they are 2 and 3

Brokenandbruised I've lost the love of my life
  • replies: 2

I'm not sure what to do.. I've tried everything.. Maybe someone can offer me some advice. I met a wonderful guy online about 3 months ago. We haven't met in person yet , he lives in another state. But we had gotten very close. We would chat on messen... View more

I'm not sure what to do.. I've tried everything.. Maybe someone can offer me some advice. I met a wonderful guy online about 3 months ago. We haven't met in person yet , he lives in another state. But we had gotten very close. We would chat on messenger each day, on the phone and on Skype. We had long video chats on Skype and even kept Skype on during the night as we slept. I fell in love with him, and I think he did with me as well. We talked about a future together. I was seriously thinking about moving to live with him. We were making plans for me to visit him. Then about 5 days ago, I made a terrible mistake. I got insecure about a female friend he had. He still said he loved me, but I felt very unsure. So I started talking to other men online. It wasn't to find someone else, but more to protect myself. I didn't want him to be my only option. I was worried he would fall for this woman, and I'd be devastated and alone. He found out what I wrote and said I betrayed him. Because I was saying similar things to these other men that I had said to him. He accused me of cheating, even though there wasn't any sexual or romantic element to my conversations. We weren't officially in a relationship yet, and he'd always said I can do what I want. So I was confused as to how I cheated. Now he's barely talking to me. He told me as a consequence of my actions, he and his friend are 'closer', implying they might get romantically involved. And last night he said the only thing he's considering now is whether he wants to stay friends with me. He said we can't be more than that now. I asked to come and visit so we could meet and talk In person. He said it's not a good idea. I've apologise so many times to him. But he says I went too far, because also of hateful things I said. He said I've hurt him very badly. He said he can't trust me and can't forgive me. He thinks I was faking my feelings for him. But I told him I wasn't and I was insecure. I've told him how much I love him. But nothing is working.. We had something very rare and special. He used to say that too. He was my best friend and the man I love. He saw all these qualities in me other people miss. We just got each other.. Now he says I'm a stranger. I feel empty without him. He became an important part of my life. For the first time in a long time I had hope for the future. I'm afraid I've lost him for good. If we stay friends, I'm not sure I could handle it if he becomes involved with this woman.

youaretall123 Moved house, broke up with partner... single, lonely and crying alot.
  • replies: 2

Hi, I have spent 6 months building my dream house. I realised my partner was not for me during this and broke up with him (8.5years) Was feeling really good about it all. 2 days ago I moved into my new house, alone. I said goodbye to my old place of ... View more

Hi, I have spent 6 months building my dream house. I realised my partner was not for me during this and broke up with him (8.5years) Was feeling really good about it all. 2 days ago I moved into my new house, alone. I said goodbye to my old place of 15 years and familiarity. The fact that I am single has hit me, my new house does'nt feel like home and I have no motivation to unpack. I feel so lonely. I have many friends but they are busy with family and their own lives. I also have to step back into my old life pre renovation which is casual work and does'nt fullfill my time as much as I would like. This is daunting. I have started a part time course to gain more work though. There was also a mutual attraction with one of my carpenters. I hav'nt been on a date, but he kissed me one night. We have known each other for 6 months. I thought he might be someone to look forward to knowing and dating. But I can't allow my hopes to run away with me. I have to put that hope away for now. I want to stop crying and feel my motivation again. It was there only a few days ago and know it's gone.

Just_coping coping after infidelity
  • replies: 2

My life wasn't perfect but i had a wonderful, caring husband of 12 years, 2 young children and a close-knit extended family. Like most marriages there were ups and downs but together we were always supportive of each other and strong. The past year h... View more

My life wasn't perfect but i had a wonderful, caring husband of 12 years, 2 young children and a close-knit extended family. Like most marriages there were ups and downs but together we were always supportive of each other and strong. The past year had been particularly strained due to injury, financial difficulties, etc. but we still got by.My world fell apart a few months ago when my husband's moods became erratic and he said he need a break 'to think' ; he could no longer deal with the guilt he felt and revealed he had been having an affair.My heart broke and i fell to pieces. My pain was amplified when i found out this had been going on for much longer than i was originally told and with someone very close to me. I had been completely unaware and had thought that at that time of our lives we were a strong unit. The pain was unimaginable and the effects far -reaching in my family. Even through my own pain i had to be strong for my kids and family and pushed aside my own hurt to be supportive of my husband who was now also in deep pain realising how his selfish actions had affected those around him. He has opened up and revealed that a traumatic event a few years earlier which we had both survived had brought back memories of earlier trauma in his life and he had felt unable to discuss this with me. He said his affair was initially just about emotional support at the time, and got out of control. He desperately wants to make things right. I have chosen to give it another chance because i can't imagine my life without him, even though the pain is still raw. he is being supportive and listens to my feelings and has made changes in his life to address my concerns. my family are not as supportive and i feel as though i have lost a huge part of my life, my hopes and dreams... i hope that in time things will work out for everyone. I have major trust issues and trouble sleeping at night. I have been treated for anxiety but i find that when i am alone in my thoughts i keep reliving the details, the timeline, the events, etc. and can't seem to get past this... i had shied away from telling friends because it is humiliating and too difficult to speak about.

JC777 husband abandoned me after meeting a women on a website.
  • replies: 4

Im in so much turmoil ATM because my husband of 7 years has moved onto another relationship after I was diagnosed with border line personality disorder and I have this severely.I spent a week in hospital in psyche unit and came home and after promisi... View more

Im in so much turmoil ATM because my husband of 7 years has moved onto another relationship after I was diagnosed with border line personality disorder and I have this severely.I spent a week in hospital in psyche unit and came home and after promising hme that he would stick with me told me that I was disgusting becaue I went and got some pot to smoke to calm me down after my ordeal in hospital.My husband was loving and supportive unitl he recently joined a website and met with other women who obviosly were kind to him and he has since moved on and hates my guts.To the extreme where he no longer wants anything to do with myself or my 10 year old daughter who he was her father for 8 years.Docs are involved.I drove myself to the police station drunk to get help and have High range drink driving court and then was admitted to hospital.But my biggest and worst failure is my marriage and the rejection and abandonment from the man that I still love despite his fornication with many other women. I was unduly unkind to him from the BPD and he has moved on.My heart is broken .I saw him in my local shopping centre and he treated me withno respect and no love which killed me.

Girl_Anachronism Loneliness vs. being alone
  • replies: 4

Hi all, I separated from my husband 6 weeks ago (in a mental hospital 2 days after a suicide attempt no less). If you want the full story of my pain, anxiety and all that jazz, see my thread Rocket Science under the Depression forum.I guess just want... View more

Hi all, I separated from my husband 6 weeks ago (in a mental hospital 2 days after a suicide attempt no less). If you want the full story of my pain, anxiety and all that jazz, see my thread Rocket Science under the Depression forum.I guess just wanted to ask if its possible to be lonely but not want to be with people. Romantically I am not even interested, but I can be in a house full of people and be lonely. I don't want my partner back, I know that. I guess I just miss that special connection of you and someone else. That loss of creating something greater than yourself. I don't want to be around people, it makes my anxiety shakes start. At the same time I am just so alone, so adrift in this new world of solitude. I chose this, but it doesn't mean I enjoy it. I find myself trying to fill the hole in my chest where my heart used to be with things - clothes, books, food. But it doesn't stop the pain. I look at happy couples and remember what that felt like. I remember that I don't have it and look down, at the hole in my chest where my heart used to be. I don't know if this is even making any sense. Is this what the end of a relationship is meant to feel like? Or am I alone in this? Do you try and fill that hole inside your chest, or do you just build around it?GA

In_need_of A Bit Lost
  • replies: 4

I was diagnosed in December 2013 with depression. No real surprise I guess, having been through a turbulent 2 year period with my wife and her family. We were fortunate to become first time parents 2.5 years ago and what should have been a happy time... View more

I was diagnosed in December 2013 with depression. No real surprise I guess, having been through a turbulent 2 year period with my wife and her family. We were fortunate to become first time parents 2.5 years ago and what should have been a happy time quickly turned into a period of anger, anxiety and a feeling of hopelessness. In laws who wouldn't give us 5 minutes of peace and a father in law who is a nasty piece of work. Maybe i handled it wrong over the years. I know i blamed my wife for not putting a stop to it. Now I am paying the price. My wife has said she wants out of the marriage and it has hit me hard. I try to speak to her about it but she isn't one to communicate with me. I still love her and love our precious daughter and don't want to lose my family. I know I have made mistakes, as any human does and I am ready to face up to my faults and get professional help. I have been fighting depression on my own as my wife is more focused on what I do wrong than trying to help me do right. My family are interstate and aren't the type to have an in depth talk about my battle with depression. I am looking for guidance, tips and any kind of help so that I can work on my depression and my marriage. I am really lost and lonely.

prodicalxxi End of a relationship and now I feel lost
  • replies: 2

Hi all, First time poster here. Late last year I separated from my fiance of 2.5 years in a some what ugly scenario. The relationship only ran for 3 years but the level of the relationship was a huge step in my life. She helped me gain the confidence... View more

Hi all, First time poster here. Late last year I separated from my fiance of 2.5 years in a some what ugly scenario. The relationship only ran for 3 years but the level of the relationship was a huge step in my life. She helped me gain the confidence to try and meet my father for the first time, the meeting of which he stood me up at. After that failed meeting I felt I didnt have confidence in anything anymore, didnt want to work, didn't want to go out and it put a huge strain on our relationship. I could see the cracks happening and decided I needed to step away because the way I was cracking was toxic to both of us. I said I needed to move home with my nan for a month or two just to work myself out. During that period I was admitted to hospital to get myself medicated correctly and on the right track. The day after I was admitted she proceeded to tell me she couldn't do it and turned her back on me and started basically a hate campaign against me at my old jobs and with my old friends saying I abused her and cheated on her. The problem I have to do this day, I still struggle with everything and can't let go completely. Everyday I wake up and hate the fact I wake up alone and dont have her by my side. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing anymore with work, friends, family. Everything is up in the air and its killing me

Girl_Anachronism Rocket Science
  • replies: 190

It feels like rocket science would be simpler than life at the moment. No song lyrics, no quotes, just melancholy for you all. It feels like life is so hard. It has been a week since the separation from my husband. It feels like it has been two weeks... View more

It feels like rocket science would be simpler than life at the moment. No song lyrics, no quotes, just melancholy for you all. It feels like life is so hard. It has been a week since the separation from my husband. It feels like it has been two weeks, if not longer. Every day goes at different speeds, fast when I am anxious, or actually accomplishing things and then out of nowhere a great big wave of depression will come. It will hit me and i will stand there, unable to move. everything feels like pain. I'll go from cooing, if a little manic and shaking uncontrollably to crying. Why does it have to hurt so much, at the end of a relationship? I don't even want to be with him, I don't even want to go back to him. Yet it hurts and another part of me says I still love him. Just waking up this morning, thinking about what to do, reminds me of the things we use to do to fill our weekends. It reminds me that relationship, that time, is over. I won't be doing those things again, with that same feeling of creating something bigger than the two of us. I guess I grieve not for him, but for what we had, what it could have been. When does it stop hurting? How can I get there now? I don't like existing right now, the pain comes in these inconsolable waves that paralyse me. Seven years of my life. Gone. GA "So tired of the straight line/ And everywhere you turn there's vultures and thieves at your back/ Don't make no difference/ Escaping one last time/ it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh/ This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees" Angel, Sarah Mclachlan