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Want to know am not alone

Community Member
I dont even know where to start.  I have been feeling lost and unsure what to do with my life for some time now, about four years - since seperating with my ex. I have not had a proper nights sleep in all of that time, i sleep about five hours of broken sleep every night.  I am an emotional train wreck and the slightest thing upsets me.  I have two boys that get to spend half the week with me and my life revolves around them.  When the boys are here everything seems to be really good and I try my best to provide the best possible household for them. But when the boys are not here i walk around the house like I am lost.  This is hard to express.  I feel down all the time, i put on a brave face when I am at work but feel that people can see through my charade.  It just seems to me that everything is too hard and I struggle to get motivated about anything.  Riding my motorcycle used to thrill me but it is becoming less of a thrill now, again I think the guys that I ride with think all is OK but I dont feel that way.  I have become something of a recluse when not with my boys, friendships have been lost and I have no interest in even going out and trying to move on with my social life.  I dont even know if this forum is the correct thing for me to do at the moment, maybe I should just keep my head up and "toughen up" as my Dad used to say.  It all just seems to be marking time, I have tried to go out but feel uncomfortable around lots of people and really dont like extremely loud music.  This doesnt seem to make much sense and is really hard for to put to words.  I work, and I love my job, but that just doesnt seem to be enough.  I just not sure what direction everything is supposed to be going, but it certainly doesnt feel right at the moment.  Nothing seems to work out the way I thought it would.  Today I was thinking about the last time I felt really happy and I honestly cannot remember when that was.  Anyway, not the best of welcome posts but that is all that I seem to be able to share at the moment. 
4 Replies 4

Community Member

Hi struggling,

I decided to make the leap tonight as well and honestly, I already feel a little more positive. I've come across posts from people having the same or similar issues and in some cases people who are on the opposite side of the same.

You are definitely not alone, though it feels like it.

By posting here you have definitely "toughened up", there is nothing stronger than recognising something is wrong and taking that plunge.

Best wishes.

Hi Struggling With It - I am here too! We are both with you - reach out if you need us....

Community Member
Hi Struggling with it, all the feelings you describe sound familiar to me. It is a beast called depression, and I'm sure many others here would also understand. You should talk to your doctor about it. They can refer you to a psychologist to talk things through and offer advice. Best of luck and hope it gets better

Community Member

Hi. I've been in this feeling not so long ago. And If someone would have told me what I'm going to tell you when I was feeling it ... I might not have believed it ... But it does get easier. Your grieving your recent familiar life. And now the situation has jolted you into a new space and that can feel scary. Creates many fears and insecurities. It takes work everyday to feel what it is you now need for you and that is exhausting. But it changes it gets better. You reset. You start remembering you as an individual...who are you. What makes you happy. It will come along when you least expect