Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

Polka_Dots Loneliness
  • replies: 6

I’m in my late 20s and I have never dated. It makes me feel like a freak. Now to make matters worse all my friends are either married, engaged or in serious long term relationships. Some are even on their second baby. I don’t have friends anymore. I ... View more

I’m in my late 20s and I have never dated. It makes me feel like a freak. Now to make matters worse all my friends are either married, engaged or in serious long term relationships. Some are even on their second baby. I don’t have friends anymore. I have always liked my me time but I used to have a quiet but steady social life. Now if I want to see a movie or just have a chat and a coffee I can't ask anyone. My original friends just do couple things. I rarely get invited. If I do it ends up being awful, with everyone pairing off with their others and sharing couple stories. I feel left out until they ask me why I’m still single and say I have problem about never dating. Then I feel like even more of a freak. Now I decline their very few invitations. I never ask them out anymore because they always have an excuse or they insist partners be included. My friends used to put me first and I would reciprocate but now I am nothing. I get angry and scared because no one feels I'm significant anymore and I don’t think anyone will ever again. I can go for a whole weekend without speaking to anyone except the check-out staff at IGA and no one cares. My extended family don’t live in here and I know them little. My parents just don’t get being in your 20s in 2015 and they also travel lots not I'm grown. Plus I need to connect with other people closer to my age. They had me late though and I am scared that before I know it I will have no one. I have tried the generic ‘making friends’ activities like a new job, helping at an animal shelter, netball, swimming and an art class but I feel like a freak because they don’t work for me when people say they should. When I rarely connect with someone they are already settled down with no time- or it happens soon after we meet and they drop off. The pattern makes it harder to go through the exercise now because I just anticipate them dropping off. My social anxiety isn't helping and I don’t have the confidence to try the above new things anymore. The outside world gets scarier every day (I live alone). I have discussed this with my therapist but I have so many fires to put out right now we never really get time to fully cover it. I actually have an imaginary friend at my age to fill the void- but unlike a 4 year old I know it's fake. Does anyone have any strategies for dealing with loneliness (either fixing the situation or just being able to manage it in your head)? I just can’t to go on like this anymore.

CtrlAltDelete Not sure if I can support him anymore...
  • replies: 3

I have been with my partner for 10 years now and about 5 or so years ago he was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. He took medication for a while, but stopped using it a couple of years ago because he said it started to make him feel worse. Over ... View more

I have been with my partner for 10 years now and about 5 or so years ago he was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. He took medication for a while, but stopped using it a couple of years ago because he said it started to make him feel worse. Over the past couple of years things just haven't got any better for him. He hasn't had a job for over a year and whenever he's had one they only last a few weeks before he quits. He has such a negative attitude towards everything and basically can't see the good in anyone or anything. He just sits at home all day and plays on his playstation all day. He refuses to seek help or go back on medication. I feel like he thinks I should be responsible for his wellbeing, or if I am, then I am doing a terrible job at it. I work full time, so I am the sole breadwinner of the household. We don't have any kids, but we have a dog (I was kind of hoping that having a dog will help him a little). I have tried so hard to support him through this, but I feel like I'm getting nowhere and it's really starting to have a negative impact on my wellbeing as well. (I was diagnosed with depression in my late teens). He says I don't understand how he feels and thinks I'm lying when I've told him I've been through it as well, although I'll admit mine wasn't as severe as what he's dealing with, it doesn't mean it never happened! I've just gotten to a point where I feel like I can't or don't want to keep supporting him if he's not going to try and help himself. I'm starting to resent him for not even trying and I feel like a lot of the time, he's just making excuses so he doesn't have to do things he doesn't want to do. I'm so torn because I love him and care about him so much, but where do I draw the line between caring for him and caring for myself? I've put his needs before mine for so long that I've lost friends and barely see my family at all now. Is it wrong to want to put myself first? If I break up with him, I know I'll feel so guilty and I'll worry about him and how he will cope, but if I stay, then I think we'll both just be miserable forever. Please, I need advice!!

MsTLB83 Narcissistic Relationship.
  • replies: 1

Just a few days ago my boyfriend broke up with me with no explanation leaving me feeling emotional. I got called a psycho by him because of it which made it worse as I already suffer with depression and anxiety. We had only been together for two mont... View more

Just a few days ago my boyfriend broke up with me with no explanation leaving me feeling emotional. I got called a psycho by him because of it which made it worse as I already suffer with depression and anxiety. We had only been together for two months but felt like we known each other for ages. We spoke about our future together , getting married , having kids , buying a house , going overseas we even said I love you a few weeks after we met. He lived 4 hours away from me but always made the time to come and see me. I even often suggested to come and see him but I always got a no from him. He never like phone conversations and always wanted to chat through kik. When it came time for me wanting to meet his parents he always made some excuse up as to why I could not meet them. Just before our breakup he told me he is going away to Thailand in September for 14 days .....by himself I was really upset by this as I had questions as to why he never told me or asked if I wanted to go ?when we were in the middle of breaking up he told me that he has been seeing someone else for three years while he was seeing me.I'm in so much shock and depressed as one day he tells me he loves me to the moon and back and next he said he wants nothing todo with me. I am still in love with this guy but can't move on without an explanation. Has anyone else had the same issues ?

oceanentity Afraid
  • replies: 2

Hi. 3 years ago my ex husband revealed the unthinkable I don't want to discuss that part. I am off antidepressants now since January. Recently allowed myself to date. Have met a lovely man 5 months now. This new feeling of what im reading is attatchm... View more

Hi. 3 years ago my ex husband revealed the unthinkable I don't want to discuss that part. I am off antidepressants now since January. Recently allowed myself to date. Have met a lovely man 5 months now. This new feeling of what im reading is attatchment issues are coming into my thoughts. I've not experienced this. I'm 41. I feel sad when I leave him. I miss him terribly. I obsess when he doesn't text often I fear it may end I have over last few years done extensive therapy on healing and are because of the nature of how my marriage ended are Definately not wanting my ex husband so I'm very present in this relationship I just don't enjoy these thoughts or feelings it is creating anxiety and some old feelings of depression in me

marfran both husband's left for a younger woman
  • replies: 4

My first husband after 10 years started cheating and eventually left me with 3 kids for his secretary 10 yr younger than me. Finally met another man who I thought was very different and would never cheat. He ends up after we have a baby together to t... View more

My first husband after 10 years started cheating and eventually left me with 3 kids for his secretary 10 yr younger than me. Finally met another man who I thought was very different and would never cheat. He ends up after we have a baby together to take up a old heavy drug addiction. After 3 years of trying to help him I knew I had to step back and let him hit bottom to see he needed help. I did not feel so bad as I lost him to drugs and truly thought one day he would come back to me all better, thought he thought his daughter and I were worth it. I just find him living with a girl 25 years younger , not even as old as my daughter and find her pregnant to him quite some way along. He has been back to me trying to mend things while she would of been pregnant. So basically what I thought I based my whole relationship on for the last 6 years is all a lie. I am shattered. I feel so betrayed, so stupid, so worthless and it doesn't matter what anyone says , I no people deep down will be thinking what is so wrong with me for both husband's to turn to younger woman. And even though my second husband is a abusive nasty man and it was not a healthy relationship, I grieve the loss of what I thought he was and we had. I can't sleep, my heart is pounding and I keep crying . I can't think straight and finding it hard to function. I keep becoming overwhelmed and panic

Struggling_with_it Want to know am not alone
  • replies: 4

I dont even know where to start. I have been feeling lost and unsure what to do with my life for some time now, about four years - since seperating with my ex. I have not had a proper nights sleep in all of that time, i sleep about five hours of brok... View more

I dont even know where to start. I have been feeling lost and unsure what to do with my life for some time now, about four years - since seperating with my ex. I have not had a proper nights sleep in all of that time, i sleep about five hours of broken sleep every night. I am an emotional train wreck and the slightest thing upsets me. I have two boys that get to spend half the week with me and my life revolves around them. When the boys are here everything seems to be really good and I try my best to provide the best possible household for them. But when the boys are not here i walk around the house like I am lost. This is hard to express. I feel down all the time, i put on a brave face when I am at work but feel that people can see through my charade. It just seems to me that everything is too hard and I struggle to get motivated about anything. Riding my motorcycle used to thrill me but it is becoming less of a thrill now, again I think the guys that I ride with think all is OK but I dont feel that way. I have become something of a recluse when not with my boys, friendships have been lost and I have no interest in even going out and trying to move on with my social life. I dont even know if this forum is the correct thing for me to do at the moment, maybe I should just keep my head up and "toughen up" as my Dad used to say. It all just seems to be marking time, I have tried to go out but feel uncomfortable around lots of people and really dont like extremely loud music. This doesnt seem to make much sense and is really hard for to put to words. I work, and I love my job, but that just doesnt seem to be enough. I just not sure what direction everything is supposed to be going, but it certainly doesnt feel right at the moment. Nothing seems to work out the way I thought it would. Today I was thinking about the last time I felt really happy and I honestly cannot remember when that was. Anyway, not the best of welcome posts but that is all that I seem to be able to share at the moment.

Andy_X7 Anxiety after date, looking for advice
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone i'm Andy. I am on here to seek advice on something that i am becoming anxious about. Three weeks ago i met a girl and we have gone on two dates so far. We are almost identical people, even down to having the same interests. After the firs... View more

Hi everyone i'm Andy. I am on here to seek advice on something that i am becoming anxious about. Three weeks ago i met a girl and we have gone on two dates so far. We are almost identical people, even down to having the same interests. After the first date we instantly hit it off and it was like we had known each other for years, we spent the whole day together and i was sad to say goodbye at the end of the day. I was certain that this girl was a keeper however the second date was completely different, i just wasn't feeling the same and i couldn't understand why. We became very close on the second date which i was not entirely comfortable with at first. She expressed her interest in taking it slow which made me instantly relieved as i am still trying to overcome this anxiety and find out how i truly feel about her. However on the train home she asked for this to be exclusive and that her parents want to meet me and in her own words to grill me and sus me out. I instantly became anxious that this is going way to fast and now i am very distressed. I am scared i have a fear of commitment or getting close to someone which is something i don't want to have because i don't want to live my life alone which is my biggest fear. During the second date she also told me she has a disability which i am fine with as i am not the type of person to discriminate but i'm worried if that is playing into my anxiety subconsciously. She is a nice person and i could probably see my self with her in time however the thing i'm trying to figure out is weather i am feeling like this because i am anxious about the whole commitment thing or because maybe she is not right for me, but because i have alot of anxiety in my life i tend to overthink things and be overcritical of my self. I don't want to hurt this girl and it's not fair for me to blow hot and cold with her while i figure out how i feel, that's why i'm asking for advice or anything that might ease my anxiety about the situation. Is this doubt and anxiety normal when being asked to be exclusive on a second date? I still hardly know her despite these two great dates. There is this lingering doubt in my head saying what if i'm committing too fast and the girl for me is still out there, it's very distressing because i want to be with someone and i'm scared this anxiety will lead me to spending my life alone. Please feel free to give it to me straight if i'm being silly i would rather that then some telling me what i want to hear.

Lookingforpeace Broken heart
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone I really need to air out my thoughts. I'm seeing a psychologist on Friday but am going mad in the meantime. Im married but am close friends with my ex and also in love with him. He feels the same way but we have agreed to do the right thi... View more

Hi everyone I really need to air out my thoughts. I'm seeing a psychologist on Friday but am going mad in the meantime. Im married but am close friends with my ex and also in love with him. He feels the same way but we have agreed to do the right thing and not act on our feelings and commit to our marriages. There has however always been a little "window" left open for us to be together down the track. yesterday he gave me the news that he and his wife are expecting their first child. I felt like my whole world came crashing down and that the window is now tightly shut. I want to be happy for him but I'm just so upset and feel like a bad person for feeling this way. He has broken my heart before, and I his, I'm starting to wonder if that's all we will ever to do each other. I don't know what to do - whether to continue the friendship despite the pain or to cut things off and live without him in my life. I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to about this because I feel so guilty about the relationship in the first place.

peter1977 Am i good enough
  • replies: 2

hello some of you may know me from my other thread about my partner having depression and anxiety . I write this new one because i have so many insecurities now and im really not sure what to do with them .Some of you may know that my partner had an ... View more

hello some of you may know me from my other thread about my partner having depression and anxiety . I write this new one because i have so many insecurities now and im really not sure what to do with them .Some of you may know that my partner had an affair and it broke up our partnership . we have since mended our relationship and we are both wanting to try fix things and be happy together . There are many reasons why this affair happened and i really dont want to go into all of them at this point . But since it has i have been feeling very insecure in myself as a man . I have always considered myself to be ok looking and have a decent body without having tickets on myself . I had always looked in a mirror and thought yeah you seem decent . I keep myself groomed and always try look my best but since this has happened i feel like i am not good enough . I feel like i have lost anything i had going for me and i feel like now i am old and worn out .I feel like maybe she had this affair because i was not good enough or i was not good looking enough for her . Is this normal to feel this way and if it is then how do i go about feeling as i used to and thinking i was ok . I mean im not male god or anything and maybe far from it but i used to feel as though i could make some woman look sideways at me at one time . Now i feel as though every woman on the planet see me as nothing .

JuanC Can this be fixed?
  • replies: 2

My 7 year marriage is a recipe you dont see often, we would compare it to the movie "the notebook" but right now it doesnt look that nice. My wife and I met online over 10 years ago, at the time she was in a stable relationship that had gone on for s... View more

My 7 year marriage is a recipe you dont see often, we would compare it to the movie "the notebook" but right now it doesnt look that nice. My wife and I met online over 10 years ago, at the time she was in a stable relationship that had gone on for several years, but still we became friends and eventually had a romantic relationship though there was never anything physical. This lasted one year until I pushed too hard for us to go to the next level and she ended it. After some months I met someone else, had a relationship, got married, and that marriage only lasted one year as I found her in our bed with another man just one week after our first anniversary. Four months after my separation, while going through divorce, the first girl I had met online appears again and we start talking and realize we are still "in love" with each other, but she was still in her stable relationship with the same man as before. She tries with this person one last time and when things didnt work she ran straight to me and we went straight into a long term relationship, moved in together, and started a life, all this with about one month between her moving out from her ex's house and moving in with me. From there we had several issues and traumas from our past but we made it through and this year was our 7th anniversary. In Feb she came back from a 3 month trip to Argentina to see her family and, checking her phone one day, I found a bunch of pictures of her naked that had been sent several times via whatsapp but I couldnt find where they were sent. There were also messages to two different men that I consider inappropriate. I confronted her about all this and she swore she had sent me those pictures and no one else (even though I never got a single one) and that the messages one of them had been sent by a friend of hers she had lend the phone to and the other was a message to her friend but that I was taking it out of context. I believed her. On June 13th I caught her lying about where she had been the night before and she comes and tells me she is a lesbian and was out meeting another girl, but that she still loves me and is attracted to me and doesnt want our marriage to end. She promised she had never lied to me before and had never done anything like that before, she promised nothing had happened and that she has never been physical with any other person, male or female, since being with me. This is too long, I will need a second post after this. Sorry.