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I feel like it's already over

CKHT86X
Community Member
My boyfriend and I haven't been together for a really long time (maybe 3-4 months), but I know we both really care about each other. However, recently things have drastically changed. He suffers from mood swings and I think he may have fallen into a state of depression. Last time this happened he texted me and broke up with me. It feels like that might happen again now. I haven't seen him in weeks, he barely texts me, just leaves me on read. The only time I hear his voice is when I get sent straight to his voicemail. He knows that he's being a bad boyfriend, and he thinks that he's not good enough for me (he is), he just doesn't do anything to change. All he does is say that he wants to go away to find himself or something and that he needs space. I can understand that, and I can give him the breathing room he wants but I honestly just feel so neglected in the relationship. I've lost the motivation to do anything. I can barely stand to get out of bed in the mornings. It's exhausting, trying to stay and support him. Last time, when he broke up with me, I know it was the fact that I actually stuck around that eventually brought him back to me, so I'm trying not to leave him but in times like this I feel like leaving him is what's best for me.
3 Replies 3

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi

He might not be stable enough to maintain a relationship. He should seek medical treatment. If not then he won't get well and the ordeal you are having will get worse.

This is what I'd do...

Treat your relationship as a non committed one. Go out with others and see what happens. Just because he has mood swings/depression doesn't mean he can't see you regularly.

Its not your fault.

Go out, have a good time.

Tony WK

Oh, by the way

Google these

Topic: who cares for the carer- beyondblue

Topic: your attitude is not a me talk illness- beyondblue

Tony WK

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello, this time of the year only enhances the gloom that people have over this period, however it may not be the case here, but itappears as though he is depressed and when someone has depression their life changes, they tend to close up from their loved ones, which only makes it much harder for you comprehend, and I assure you you aren't the only person struggling with a loved one, I only say this just to mention that this is what happens to those suffering with depression they feel as though they need to be by themselves.
It's hard for you to believe that he doesn't want to be with you, in a short relationship, because this is the time when you are meant to have the honeymoon period.
It's so hard to say this but the only contact you can have with him is by sending him a text, saying that you will always be there for him, or even to say you love him, don't be upset if he doesn't reply back to you, that's this illness taking control of him, but it's the worst circumstance you would ever want.
At the moment you are feeling the repercussions from this and it's starting to drag you in, making you feel sad and upset, but once this continues then this illness is starting to take control of you, so there are a couple of issues here, firstly you should go and see your doctor to try and inhibit this illness, and secondly do you want to stay with your b/friend through this period, now and in the future or decide to break it off.
Remember we have to answer who has posted in and not who they are talking about, in a general way, but whether you stay with him or decide to leave won't change the fact that you still need to see your doctor, because either way you are going to feel the backlash.
I hope this works out for you, but please reply back to us. Geoff. x