Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Relationship anxiety

Community Member

Hi there

for the past few months I have developed anxiety. I have always been a stressful person but it has got a lot worse.

I have a great group for friends and recently have been divided due to a few couples splitting up. Since this has happened I've started to question my own relationship. I have been with my partner for 8 years. We have always had a great relationship, I can't remember the last time we had a massive argument. We love each other and want the same things from life.

For the past few weeks all I can think about is our relationship and I have pretty much talked myself into not loving him anymore and wanting to break up.

i don't know what to do anymore. I'm scared if I break up with him it will be the wrong decision and it's the anxiety making me feel this way.

Is anyone else going through this? Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can get a better picture and to stop feeling this way.


4 Replies 4

Community Member

Hello Lamp,

I think everyone who has ever has had a long-term relationship reaches a point of questioning if it is still working for you. Also your friends breakups might be exposing some of the fault lines in your own. I think part of growth in a relationship comes when you reach a point of accepting that it is really not perfect but that is okay because no relationships are. Just needs to good enough.



Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Dear Lamp

Thank you talking to us and welcome to Beyond Blue. I think Chris has nailed the problem. We mortals get ourselves all tied up with our insecurities, and not only the relationships section. Should I change jobs, move house, buy a house, take on volunteer work, make friends with someone. The list is probably endless, or at any rate very long. We are very good at being restless or insecure. If I can put on my grandma hat, the world keeps changing, or at any rate the way we live, spawning new worries and new anxieties. So I would not be overly concerned at the moment.

Sadly partners do separate and it's usually difficult, but you sound as though a separation from your partner is not high on your list of priorities. As Chris has commented, your friends break ups may have made you sit up and take notice. If it can happen to such and such, maybe I'm next.

After eight years together you have probably become so used to each other that the start of the romance seems to belong to a different world. And it is. Remind yourself you are travelling the same road with your partner. The view is lovely but this is because you are contented.

Remember what made you love your man and see if anything has changed. My bet is the only change will be the deepening of your love. Enjoy your life together.


Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello Lamp, Chris and Mary has said exactly what could happen, and I tend to believe that what you having are 'intrusive thoughts' which are linked to anxiety as well as having OCD, although you haven't mentioned anything else that could mean you do have this illness.
Try and google 'OCD with having intrusive thoughts' and see what you think, and would very much like to hear back from you. Geoff.x

Community Member

Thanks Chris, Mary and Geoff..

Geoff, I googled OCD with intrusive thoughts and it does sound like what I've got..

i am constantly doubting my relationship and questioning what to do. I am so confused about everything in my life. I will have 10 minutes where I feel ok then something will happen and I'm back feeling crappy again. I feel like I'm a anxiety spiral and can't get out.