Triggered. Should I get professional help?

UpsAndDowns-2

I don't even know how to start. I'm very well aware of my triggers and it has happened quite often. Throughout the years I have tried getting more self help and be more mindful and things have improved, until I gave birth last year.

Life was hectic of course and there were more arguments between me and my spouse on many things. I thought I may have postnatal anxiety so I had call a few hotlines to get help, as well as get enrolled in some programs. Things seems have got back on track after a year or so. Last night my parent said something that has triggered me. I have shared with him before on the triggers but he's just not sensitive and mindful enough. I snapped. I didn't say a thing. I sat there to try calm down but I couldn't. After a few minutes I decided I'd go upstairs and leave the kids to him to finish the night time routine.

This morning I was still mad at my partner and I felt very deflated. I went out to meet some friends with my kids, came back, saw my partner, then got mad again. I basically cannot function when I'm deflated and I feel that my cup is not just empty but it has a crack and I can't fill it up. I can't even function to look after my kids (I was OK when I was occupied with friends but not when I saw my partner again). What he said to me just keep repeating in my own head and keeps triggering me.

I'm never officially diagnosed though after kids partner said I may have ADHD. I don't even know how to get further help but thinking back it wasn't really a big deal but I just felt so hurt and deflated and lose all my energy. I have been searching around to see if there is someone that I can talk to but I'm anxious to share. Then I found this forum I'm really not sure if this is a right place to post but I hope I can get some non judgmental advices here to get me back on track.

Croix

Dear UpsAndDowns-2

Welcome to the Forum, I hope being here will be of some help as many get triggered for various reasons and cope in differing ways. If you have a look around I dare say you will find some of them.

For me at least being triggers is a most unpleasant experience, especially as it is involuntary and may lead to unexplained tears, anger or vivid recollections of past events.

Obviously one gets to know many of the things that can set this of and try to avoid them. Equally obviously as one does not have a crystal ball one cannot avoid them all. My partner is aware of most of mine, and I'm lucky, she goes out of her way to avoid setting me off.

It is a great pity your partner, having been told the sensitive areas, did not steer clear of them. I hope this was simply thoughtlessness.

Have you talked with him about this unfortunate event? If his mere presents keeps reminding you and your are not able to function as a result then something has to be done.

Getting professional help would certainly seem the wise thing to to. For yourself seeing your GP in an extended consultation and explaining what is happening now and in the past, then seeing if you can be diagnosed and a course of treatment offered to assist. There may be an underlying cause that needs to be identified.

I'd also suggest couples counceling in order to give your partner a better idea of the harm that can be done with a few words. If you are always apprehensive of what he may say or do I'd think that could ruin the relationship. I'd recommend Relationships Australia (1300 364 277), who if the do not have a center near you might know of one that is suitable

Incidentally if it is possible your state of mind might have been made worse by post-natal depression (which does not always start straight away) then the Panda Organization would be a good place to go - if you have not already

I know what it feels like ot be completely drained and it's true it does not seem to get better by itself. This is where I've found assistance necessary, which for me has been effective.

If you felt like saying how you get on that would be good

Croix

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