How many times do we feel so disheartened at the thought that bad things are forever? That it will never improve, that this is as good as it gets?
I came out from my transgendered closet a few years ago, fully expecting that the consequences would be terrible, that I was about to lose my relationship, my children, my job, maybe my life. I felt so ashamed, so selfish. I was risking so much for the sake of my own happiness. At the time, I was perfectly ready to believe that my life was at an end.
And yet here I am, not only surviving, but so deeply happy and blessed that I feel like a dog with two tails! I asked for and was given approval from my managers to transition in my workplace, and have been shown the most amazing kindness and support by the 8000-odd people I work with (I sometimes feel like the class project, everybody wants to participate somehow)
Six out of my seven kids are cool with it (the one who is still uncomfortable is quite possible either gay or trans, scared stiff at the prospect of having to join me)...my 16-year-old daughter asks me to come clothes shopping, my first grandson was born and I get to hold him when I want...I have lost nothing and gained the best life!
And it is my belief that most of my success in becoming my real self is the simple fact that I decided to expect that I would do it with ease and grace...that I would come out proud and strong and have nothing but love and forgiveness for those who gave me a hard time. And so far, I have been abused only once in all that time...
If I was asked what makes the difference, it's mostly just the passage of time....just be true to yourself, wait patiently, and watch the universe unfold as it should.
Clare
