Thinking about reporting my ex to the police, I'm so angry. Fear it may be too late.

[Cinnamonrolls]

Hi there. I came here because I don't have much support from others around me regarding my feelings. I also lost most evidence as he smashed multiple phones. I also don't trust police, I've had a few incidents with them and honestly don't have much respect for them. When they came to my house for a domestic, they began searching through my belongings and I found that vile and invasive. It didn't seem like it was in my best interest. It made me incredibly uncomfortable so I have avoided them ever since. I don't have anything to hide but I don't appreciate it. I'm a messy person living with severe ADHD & possibly autism and I'm generally embarrassed that I'm messy. Felt like they were judging me for my disability.

Don't have specific dates, it's been ages. I am so angry about what happened to me. I just cannot believe it's been nearly 3 years and I'm just as angry if not more. Furious thinking about it. This person is not safe, I genuinely believe he might kill someone one day. It's not fair he gets to live his life when he humiliated me in front of my family. He was 6'3, very bulky person and would often physically abuse me, intimidate me and make me so fearful by saying "This is it, it's worth going to prison for."  It resulted in the police being called maybe three or four times. Destroyed my reputation with my family, ruined my job opportunities and attempt of getting a degree. Just got worse and worse as time went on.

[Sophie_M]

Dear Cinnamonrolls
 
Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums we are so glad that you have made you way here and had the bravery to post. We want you to know that this is a safe space to discuss your thoughts, feelings and experiences and receive honest responses and suggestions from fellow forum users.
 
We are sorry to hear that you have gone through what you have and continue to bear the pain of this; violence is never ok and you deserved to be treated with respect; including by those who serve to protect you.
 
While you are waiting for a response to your post, we encourage you also to get in touch with 1800 RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or via their webchat, just Click Here.
 
We’re sure to hear from some of our lovely community members here on your thread soon. They’re a really amazing community, and will have understanding, advice and kind words for you.  Please also know that we are also here 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or via our Webchat Click Here .  Our team who answer the phones are ready to have a supportive and non-judgmental chat whenever you need it.
 
Thanks again for sharing. It’s a powerful and brave first step towards feeling better.
 
Regards 
 
Sophie M

[geoff]

Hello Cinnamonrolls, I'm sorry there has been little response to your comment, but people do get busy on other threads,but very sorry.
I hope that you weren't judged by the police as evidence needed to be collected and because we do take this as an intrusion.

The trouble with this chap is that he could have appeared to be a kind and gentle person with your family and don't believe what you have said but the truth will eventually come out and somewhere a long the way it will happen again and may be charged.

I am concerned that as this has happened 3 years ago you may need to a doctor and bne diagnosed with PTSD, although I'm not a doctor to qualify this, but it's important you receive the help you need.

Please get back tous when you are available.

Geoff.

Life Member.

[ecomama]

Hi Cinnamonrolls, a warm welcome to the forums. 

I'm really sorry for ALL the abuse you've suffered in your previous relationship with your ex. He sounds like a monster. A manipulative one at that. 

I'm also sorry for the long lasting effects this abuse has had on your closest relationships, your employmen and study options too. 
It's hard! 

I've been through very similar and it's beyond frustrating, I get it. Most people, family included, don't understand at all about how a DV situation can make US look like the bad person. Abusers can be cunning and wily to create others' perspective about us. 

Hugs hugs and more hugs. You have a lot to recover from, like I do and many others on the forums do too. 

Your anger and fury are justified. You're right, it ISN'T fair, not one bit. 

You do have options to report to Police. 
I think you and I both know that it could just be a futile attempt to do so, now so much time has passed. 
You still can, it just could add more fuel to your fury trying to get a process going. 
(I figure that if the Police didn't help us to the full extent of the Law THEN, there's no point now). 

We will support you whatever path you decide to take. 

I'm more concerned about YOU tbh. 
I want to see YOU flourish and learn all you can about rebuilding your "scorched earth" of a life you see right now. 

It won't stay like this forever IF you can focus on healing YOU. 
Please call 1800RESPECT and talk to the lovely Counsellors there. They always helped me so much as I was going through similar tumultuous feelings and experiences. 
I've had my own Counsellor for about 7y thru Unifam, now Baptist Care and she's a Godsend to me. 

How are you doing today sweet thing? 

We're here for you.
Love EM