dear PositiveLyfe, I don't think that your username suits the way you feel, however it's always good to feel positive, but there are times in our life when this can't be so, because we feel let down by the people we thought were are friends, but in actual fact aren't.
There is so much in your post that indicates that you are suffering from anxiety, which could lead to depression, and we don't want this to happen to you, because it's just like being in hell, so we want to understand your circumstances and the predicament you are facing.
I am just wondering whether someone in your life has let you down, and now feel as though you are left out.
If your 'friends' only want to do something for you and in return you do something for you, these people are only acquaintances, because true friends stick by you and will do anything they can to help you, there are no boundaries, nothing they can do is an effort, they want to help you, just as you would for them.
To be associated with this group should only be your choice, but to find a true group of friends, then you should maybe put this other group aside, and find some people who will be your friends, where there is no I'll scratch your back if you scratch my back.
True friends will help you out so you feel as though you do this for me then I want to do something for you, but this is totally different to how the other group behaves, because they will never support you when you need them.
True friends are connected and will always support you, and where the both of you can talk about issues either in a jovial way or serious way. Geoff.
