Stuck in limbo

[Guest_10308]

Hi There. I am currently looking in a situation where I think that my wife really want to leave me. For the last couple of years she has become more and more distant with me not showing really any affection, not wanting to do anything with me (go out without the kids etc). I have been overcompensating more and more as I am really struggling with the feeling of rejection and loneliness. Throughout this time I have asked a lot of times if she still loves me to which she answers, "I will always love you as a person". Me not knowing how to take that will ask if she wants to be with me which she says she does not know. 

Recently (a couple of weeks ago) she has decided some space would be better. I am staying away from the house for a couple of nights a week and her the others. I understand that she feels like this is what she needs right now but for me this is hell. I don't know what to do or where I stand and every time I ask I am being to pushy and rushing. This is crippling me in every aspect of my life and I don't know how to cope. 

Does anybody have any ideas? I am desperate to save my family. 

[Dean07]

Limbo is a great way of describing the situation. It's a really tough place to be.
I was there a three years ago. It felt like whatever I did it would be the wrong thing. It also felt like it was my fault and I needed to fix it.  Married 30 years, 2 kids and an unhappy wife.

Three years latter I'm divorced living on my own and much happier. Kids are adults so they manage themselves. I have a great relationship with them. Not saying this is where you are heading but it's not the end of the world either.

I saw a psychologist and had some counseling which was helpful.
I joined an online Men's Group which was surprisingly helpful. It meets once a week and I was no longer on my own trying to deal with life. There were some men going through similar situations. Others that their marriages worked out and others that separated. It was a great place to open up about where I was and not feel like I was dealing with it alone. I found it very supportive and still attend. One way of coping is not trying to do it on your own. You have done it already on this forum.

A book I read that was help called. "No More Mr Nice Guy" by Dr Robert Glover.
It's about how some guys try to please everyone to get their needs met and how this doesn't work. When I read it I felt like someone had written a manual on how I think. It may not sound like it applies to a marriage but lots of guys in the group have found it helpful in understanding their roll on their relationships.  

Hope thing work out for you.