Single parent burn out

Sarah86

I am a single mother. I have raised my 2 daughters, now young teenagers on my own for the last 6 years. Their father shows Iittle interest in them, despite being included and invited to be part of their lives. He has moved on and has a new family.
im struggling with the fact that I seem to have no life. I’m working full time, have very active sporty kids who are playing at a state and representative level.

My life consists solely of dropping off and picking up kids, washing clothes, cleaning, cooking, shopping. Getting up at 5am 3 mornings a week to get them to training. One daughter has several food allergies so all meals have to be prepared at home. I never seem to have a minute to breathe, let alone live my own life. I don’t have time for self interests let alone self care. My daughters are challenging. Displaying little to know care for my wellbeing (probably age appropriate). I love them to bits and for the most part we have a very happy full life. They have lots of friends and are very social.
I’m just finding that I’m watching life pass me by. I know I shouldn’t complain because having kids is a blessing. It’s just a hard gig having them 100% of the time. I’m trying to be mum and dad and carry all the mental load.
Life is expensive in Sydney, despite having a good job, we don’t have any money. I earn just enough to cover the basics.
I just feel like I am not succeeding in any area of my life. I’m distracted at work due to the kids requirements, dealing with school, managing sporting teams. I don’t see my friends as much as I would like and I don’t feel like I support my aging parents enough.
I just wish I had a normal co parenting relationship where I could share the care of the kids to free up some time for myself. I would love to hear some coping strategies to get me through the next few years. Raising teenagers alone is a daily struggle.

blues23

Hi sarah86

i understand your feelings I’m also a single parent for the past 12 years my child has no contact with her father due to dv and ive raised her alone from birth . It is hard having no Time to yourself o have about 2 hours a week in between work where i go do my daughters paper round ( or help her do it cause she’s got disabilities so i kinda have to do a lot . My life is very similar to yours where I do a lot of running around activities drs appointments her activities out side of school . Tips for the next few years the only advice I can give is try to find some time for yourself sometimes it’s hard but you need some self love too , can you put your girls in youth club they are usually free and offer really good activities for teens even work place skills ect so u can have a break and not be so giving up so much of your time.. my family dynamic is also hard I used to have my sister& dad to talk to now I have no one so I just try my best and focus on what I can do right now and what time I might be able to have to myself and it can be a complete burn out and very stressful all alone I also have not much money and barely make ends meet and no child support either and am definitely not succeeding in life which I dont really mind I think as ling as there’s food on the table and bills are paid and roof over your head you are succeeding , your doing the best you can and it’s also ok to give yourself permission to look after yourself or maybe ask your girls to help out more I’m getting my daughter to do little chores not only so she learns how to but also to give me a break.