Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Hepa4300 What does my future hold
  • replies: 2

I am a 53 year old male married to 31 year old woman whom I love so dearly, we have 2 beautiful children whom we both love. I have posted in the past about something that happened in our previous location that drove me to move my family interstate to... View more

I am a 53 year old male married to 31 year old woman whom I love so dearly, we have 2 beautiful children whom we both love. I have posted in the past about something that happened in our previous location that drove me to move my family interstate to be clear of the trauma.i myself have not been clear from the trauma it has festered and existed inside me for over 18 months, the blame, guilt, anger which has now come to a point I am unable to cope anymore. My wife has been a victim of SA from when she was 10 years old into her mid teens, she has struggled with her own demons since and even now faces them nearly daily, these demons are self worth of which she feels none and guilt. In our last location, she became victim to a narcissistic abuser who knew how to use her empathetic nature against her, that is why we moved, at her lowest she had a sexual fling with a person over the course of a weekend, I have just discovered this part just today but my mind suspected as much for the last 18 months but I could get no information or truth from her. The discovery of the fling actually brought me peace, my suspicion and imagination was so much worse than the truth. It does not change the fact that I still love her, but now she knows I’m aware she has closed herself down, embarrassed to speak to me, anger at me and herself. I have been having severe panic attacks truly horrible things, I have felt desperate and suicidal that I was lied to that this has dragged on for so long when the truth could have released all the anxiety and stress so long ago. It has destroyed my mental health, she is the love of my life I don’t want to lose her, I’ve told her I don’t care about what happened but I still need to process the events. I don’t know where my future lies or who it lies with. I am scared for my family, I am scared of not having my friend and love at my side.

BabyDepression07 Fight with partner, i have depression n going through tough greif
  • replies: 4

I'm 28 years of agei got into a massive fight with my partner today to the point my son n i almost became homeless cause he either don't care or don't want to accept that i have.... Anxiety. Bipolar. ADHD.and epilepsy. To top it all off i just lost m... View more

I'm 28 years of agei got into a massive fight with my partner today to the point my son n i almost became homeless cause he either don't care or don't want to accept that i have.... Anxiety. Bipolar. ADHD.and epilepsy. To top it all off i just lost my mother a year ago n still going through some tough grieving. I don't know what to do cause it's even affecting my son. please help.

Thesunwillcomeup Anxiety on Name of Daughter
  • replies: 2

Apologises if this isn't meant to be here, but my wife and i are struggling, and we need help. We named our beautiful daughter "Lana" 9 years ago, and didn't know the issue with backwards spelling at the time. It has been pointed out since, and recen... View more

Apologises if this isn't meant to be here, but my wife and i are struggling, and we need help. We named our beautiful daughter "Lana" 9 years ago, and didn't know the issue with backwards spelling at the time. It has been pointed out since, and recently because of some crap Netflix Reality show, they have exploited the backwards spelling for commerical gain. Unfortunately girls in her school are now starting the bullying and teasing. We feel terrible and regret the decision we made. We love the name, but now think we might need to take action. It is eating us inside, that we might have created such a life long issue for our daughter. Any help

KTOCD Does it get better?
  • replies: 1

Hi,I separated from my husband nearly two years ago. It has been quite traumatic and abusive since the breakup to the point that I ended up getting a dvo. We have one young child. I feel like I am in this constant state of conflict. I am frequently i... View more

Hi,I separated from my husband nearly two years ago. It has been quite traumatic and abusive since the breakup to the point that I ended up getting a dvo. We have one young child. I feel like I am in this constant state of conflict. I am frequently in tears as he is rude to me at changeovers. I have pressure from both sets of parents (his and mine) to not let him have too much access to our daughter. I'm fighting as hard as I can but I am tired. I just want to go to court and let a judge decide. This turmoil has been going for nearly two years and I don't see an end in sight. I know I need to minimise contact and employ some protective behaviours to minimise me becoming upset all the time. I suppose my question is, does it ever get better? I feel like I'm not even close to getting to a point where things will calm down. I feel like I am not getting a chance to heal. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.K

Sandy1965 Family doesn't like my husband
  • replies: 1

Sorry for the long thread, but would appreciate any advice.My husband and I have been having problems in our marriage for a while, and two years ago he flirted with a girl at his work. This came to my knowledge - we went through a very rough patch, w... View more

Sorry for the long thread, but would appreciate any advice.My husband and I have been having problems in our marriage for a while, and two years ago he flirted with a girl at his work. This came to my knowledge - we went through a very rough patch, went to marriage counselling, and ultimately worked it out. However, I was still resentful as he never truly apologised to me and expected me to forgive and move on.Fast forward to just before Christmas, our marriage was struggling, he wasn't happy and I wasn't either. He then said that he wanted "out" of the marriage (we have been married 31 years) and he was done with counselling as he kept on saying that I just "can't move on".Believing that my marriage was truly over, I confided to my older brother and told him everything. He was disgusted with my husband and advised me that I should leave the marriage and look forward to a peaceful life for myself.About 3 weeks ago, my husband apologised, said he jumped without thinking saying that he wanted "out" of the marriage and wants to try again. He apologised sincerely. He doesn't want to throw away 31 years, nor do I, so we talked and agreed that we would really try and connect again with each other.To now: My brother and my family are disappointed with me for me saying that I want to work on my marriage, with my husband (brother said he would never look at him the same way), etc.We have two grown-up children - my son is supportive, yet my daughter can't stand her father and is against us getting together again.I am at my wit's end - heartbroken, extremely anxious and feel that I can get physically and mentally broken down over all of this.Please, I am looking for kind replies and strength how to deal with this.Thanks so much.

hshs Family stoping relationships
  • replies: 1

Hi All I've been looking for any info regarding a specific topic. I a 16-year-old male have recently met a girl of the same age we are both looking to take our friendship further and pursue a romantic relationship. however, I have year 12 coming up a... View more

Hi All I've been looking for any info regarding a specific topic. I a 16-year-old male have recently met a girl of the same age we are both looking to take our friendship further and pursue a romantic relationship. however, I have year 12 coming up and my family have been telling me that i cant get into a relationship over that time. they have also stoped me from meeting up with her. is there any way for me to be able to see her and have a romantic relationship with her. This also affects my friendships as I was recently only allowed to see my friends more often with more independence of where we go and hang out and what times are allowed. if anyone can help me feel free to respond to this post.Thanks

Justwalkinghome Feeling so lost 😞
  • replies: 1

I had a really traumatic sequence of events happen back in 2013/14/15: - family member charged in Supreme Court and jailed - child hospitalised, in ICU, multiple errors which led to a negligence case (we won) - relationship breakdown - rental propert... View more

I had a really traumatic sequence of events happen back in 2013/14/15: - family member charged in Supreme Court and jailed - child hospitalised, in ICU, multiple errors which led to a negligence case (we won) - relationship breakdown - rental property sold/ new house purchased - multi car accident - new relationship which quickly turned abusive since that time I feel like any other relationship I wind up in is very toxic, the most recent one was the worst - it’s just ended too, and looking back in all I can do is shake my head and wonder why I let that happen. I feel so lost and alone, which is why I think I end up in bad relationships… chasing a feeling of safety and security. does anyone have any tips on how to give myself that sense of security I am chasing?I will be working with a new professional soon, but it’s so expensive even with rebates etc, so I might not be able to go often.

Paintdrops Abandoned on Christmas Eve
  • replies: 3

My husband has bipolar and left me on Christmas eve, after he lost his job in may and I found out things he had lied to me about. I was so upset about the lies and his psychiatrist told him to make things up to me. He instead left on Christmas eve in... View more

My husband has bipolar and left me on Christmas eve, after he lost his job in may and I found out things he had lied to me about. I was so upset about the lies and his psychiatrist told him to make things up to me. He instead left on Christmas eve in a horrible way, and has not been in touch since. I am in limbo not knowing what is happening. My heart is shattered. I just would like to talk with him. I would like to think he misses me, as I thought we were both so in love. He was I thought my soul mate. I would never had thought he would do this to me. I am still hoping he comes home. And gives us a chance.

kris_m Need help with family crisis.
  • replies: 17

Not sure where to start really. my partner and I have been living with my parents for the past year but things have recently taken a turn for the worst. ive been having some issues with my sisters partner (they live separately), he’s really picked on... View more

Not sure where to start really. my partner and I have been living with my parents for the past year but things have recently taken a turn for the worst. ive been having some issues with my sisters partner (they live separately), he’s really picked on me for years and personally attacks me to get a reaction on purpose. On Christmas Eve things got really bad and he really made me angry. For my family’s sake I just moved on with the evening to keep the peace but by this point I was done with him and the way he treats me. I’ve been harbouring with emotion and anger over what to do then on Friday afternoon I finally opened up to my parents about how I’m feeling about how he treats me and that I’m done with his behaviour. This turned into a rip roaring argument for hours with my mum pretty much defending him saying that’s just how he is as a person and that I should pretty much get over it and my feelings were valid. My partner got home from work and could see I was visibly upset. I told him and he defended meto my mum and backed up the bullying behaviour by my sisters partner. My partner was in no way rude or anything just mum and him raising their voices at each other. In the end my mum decided to turn things personal and started attacking my partner saying he’s not perfect and that she’s got a whole lot of issues with him and when we both asked her to please share these issues to talk through she simply refused. Behind my partners back today I heard her making snide comments about his job not being good enough he doesn’t earn enough money and she just all of a sudden hates him. I think I’m done with my mother. It feels like she will always choose my sister and her partner over me and my own feelings.