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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Heart Always sad
  • replies: 3

My husband and I have been married 22 years, it's my second marriage and his third.He is 71 and I'm 58.Back in 2022 while my brother was dying my husband had an emotional affair at work, giving emotional support and affection to a co worker going thr... View more

My husband and I have been married 22 years, it's my second marriage and his third.He is 71 and I'm 58.Back in 2022 while my brother was dying my husband had an emotional affair at work, giving emotional support and affection to a co worker going through a divorce, he gave me no support at all and was emotionally absent.He has denied everything but mutual friends who worked with them told me the end of 2023 when I noticed love heart symbols on all his personal photos from this woman, I hadn't seen them before as he had unfriended me on FB.There had been secret coffee dates which he lied about as well.I did confront him about it and he said he wasn't involved with her.I asked him to delete all forms of contact from her which he said he did but he actually hadn't.To my knowledge there has been no contact since.Fast forward to now, we sold our house and moved states, I had hoped for a fresh start but nothing has changed, there is no affection, intimacy and little communication, he sits on his phone all day unless he takes the dogs for a walk or goes to the gym, I've tried to express to him that I'm sad all the time, I've become moody and resentful and feel neglected, my heart breaks every day.He constantly looks for validation from other woman, following their Instagram pages or sending cute GIF to woman he knows, and thinking nothing of it but I'm never the one on the receiving end.He says I'm just being jealous and turns it all around to me.But my main concern is the lack of anything from him in our marriage.Talking does nothing, he said his not going to change.He was my sole mate but his changed so much.I'm at a loss as to what to do.

Melisma Husband's ex is lying and hurting my family
  • replies: 1

My husband and I have been together for 6 years. I have 2 kids from before, he has a daughter from before, and we have a son together. He was with his last partner for 8 years. She has a few different mental health issues, and these have caused us so... View more

My husband and I have been together for 6 years. I have 2 kids from before, he has a daughter from before, and we have a son together. He was with his last partner for 8 years. She has a few different mental health issues, and these have caused us some serious issues. They are in family court battling for custody of their daughter. My step daughter and I have a great relationship, which seems to make her mother (the ex) extremely jealous, to the point that she has been threatening to make false allegations of physical abuse of her daughter against me. This is after threatening to tell the police that my husband Sexually Assaulted her (he didnt). I am almost constantly on edge worrying that she is going to follow through on her threats, and feel anxious due to lies she tries to tell her daughter about us. She has lied in court paperwork, and im fearful that she has lied to our friends as well. I dont feel like we can trust anyone, and feel like we are constantly under the microscope. All the stress has made me a reactive mother to all the kids, and I hate that they are having to experience it. I feel so overwhelmed and lost.

RA2012 Feeling alone and betrayed
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone,I’m new here. I’m almost a single mum and my partner transitioned and moved away to another city. Since then, they’ve become distant and it feels like they’ve erased every good thing we ever had together. On top of that, I discovered dish... View more

Hi everyone,I’m new here. I’m almost a single mum and my partner transitioned and moved away to another city. Since then, they’ve become distant and it feels like they’ve erased every good thing we ever had together. On top of that, I discovered dishonesty in the relationship which has left me feeling shattered and betrayed. The pain feels overwhelming. It’s like everything we built has been rewritten as if it never mattered, and I’m left alone with all the memories. They don’t let me talk about past and call me and every memory toxic. I don’t really have close friends or family I can talk to, and I feel so heavy carrying this by myself. Chat GPT has only been my confidant but there is no human connection. I just want to find a safe place to share and maybe connect with people who understand what betrayal and abandonment feel like. Right now, I feel incredibly alone and I wish this ache in my chest would ease. Thank you for listening.

Guest_50622148 I feel torn between what is right and what feels right. Please help.
  • replies: 2

This is something I’ve carried quietly for years. Maybe I’m seeking clarity, or maybe I just want to feel understood. I feel lost—torn between what’s right and what feels right.I got married in 2016 at 24, to a man I believed was 30. Later, I found o... View more

This is something I’ve carried quietly for years. Maybe I’m seeking clarity, or maybe I just want to feel understood. I feel lost—torn between what’s right and what feels right.I got married in 2016 at 24, to a man I believed was 30. Later, I found out he was 32. A small lie, but it planted seeds of doubt. It was a love marriage, one I fought for against my family. I believed love would be enough.He was caring—sometimes too much. Back then, I mistook his control for affection. Over time, I realized I was shrinking. But I never shared my struggles. I stayed silent, thinking I could fix it alone.Two years later, I reconnected with a friend—let’s call him A—someone I’d known before marriage. It started innocently. But soon, every conversation with him made me feel alive again. Seen. Heard. We never crossed physical lines, but emotionally, something deep rooted itself between us.A got married in 2019 and moved to Australia in 2022. I had my daughter in 2020 and later moved to the US. Despite distance, we stayed in touch. He became my emotional anchor, though we never defined it.Now in 2025, I’m in Australia too. It’s been five months and we haven’t met, but the desire is strong. Still, life is messy. We both carry responsibilities and questions we can't answer.My marriage has deteriorated. My husband gaslights, avoids accountability, and doesn’t engage emotionally. I’ve seen messages with another woman—he denies them. He struggles with anxiety but won’t seek real help. His family’s financial burden consumes him, and I feel invisible.Meanwhile, I’m raising our daughter, holding everything together while feeling completely undone inside. I want to be strong for her. But this emotional storm is spilling into every part of my life.Some days, I want to walk away. Other days, I feel paralyzed by fear. Is it love… or just habit and shared trauma? Is my bond with A real—or just escape?I know I need help. I know I need to talk to someone. But right now, I just needed to let it out. Not for judgment. Just to feel human again.

Loveanimals 20 Year Old Son Addicted to Marijuana and Ruining My Life
  • replies: 4

My son is addicted to marijuana. I know....what a great parent I am for even letting him use it :(. I allowed him to use it at home as I did not want him out with random people getting into trouble. Initially he was part of a bad group and I did not ... View more

My son is addicted to marijuana. I know....what a great parent I am for even letting him use it :(. I allowed him to use it at home as I did not want him out with random people getting into trouble. Initially he was part of a bad group and I did not want him associating with them.He is now addicted to it and the stuff he is buying is not good and he is really suffering. He has always suffered from insomnia and anxiety. I have done everything I can to try to help him. At the end of the day he is an adult now and he has to learn to take responsibility for himself. He has an appointment tomorrow with the Dr to discuss his issues. I hope so much something can be done to make him feel better about himself. I must say though that I am totally over it all. I have made numerous Dr appointments over the last two years....that he declines to attend . I have offered him Gym membership to get him out there doing something good for himself . Again...declined. I am actually really angry as he does nothing to help himself? I work and have a lot of responsiblity around the house and assisting my elderly father. My son does NOTHING to help around the house. He is totally selfish. He has not got his licence yet although I paid for lessons and have taken him out in my car to get his hours up. He makes every excuse under the Sun to be lazy and entitled. I hate being mean but I fear this is emotional blackmail. He is unhappy with himself but can't get that he is responsible for himself. He has a great life here. Lovely house, lovely food; I drive him to his work etc. He just lays around eating takeout and smoking weed if he is not working. I feel trapped as he sounds off to me constantly about how bad his life is and so forth but I can only tolerate so much. He has no intention of moving out or the like. I am in my late fifties and I am suffering a lot from this. It is like being trapped in a bad marriage!Anyway that is my rant for the day. I appreciate any feedback.

Guest_33399099 Wife ended it
  • replies: 2

Hey, My wife ended our marriage after 13 years. I do feel a lot of guilt that I probably wasn't the best husband towards the end as I was suffering some depression and wasn't stepping up. Within a week of discarding me another man who we had know for... View more

Hey, My wife ended our marriage after 13 years. I do feel a lot of guilt that I probably wasn't the best husband towards the end as I was suffering some depression and wasn't stepping up. Within a week of discarding me another man who we had know for 5 years was on the scene. For the next 5 months we swapped in and out of the home on different days to look after our 2 children. I eventually after this time moved into a rental ( I know I shouldn't have) but my mental health was declining rapidly. I know I should have stayed in house full time. Within 2 days of me moving into rental he moved in. He also left his wife of 28 years and two teenage kids. For the next 9 months my kids would stay at my rental for half the time. Unfortunately about 3 months ago I asked her if I could just have a bit of time as my mental health was severely declining again and I didn't want to be sad around the children. I still haven't had the kids back and obviously she now has filed for child support. She is also buying me out of the family home but the amount she is offering is not fair and my solicitor agrees but I don't think I can keep fighting much more. This guy is also spoiling my kids and trying totally erase me. I've been messaging the kids saying I love them, but my son messaged back he doesn't want to see me. He probably feels I've abandoned him. He's 9 and my daughter is 13. I'm paying large rent which I can't really afford in a tiny unit which I used to feel bad for the kids having to stay here. She's ended up with the house, A new partner, which she has denied they are a couple while the settlement is happening and I've got nothing barely surviving.

Strawbs101 My husband is an alcoholic
  • replies: 16

Hi everyone, this is my first post. I'm feeling really lost at the moment. I’ve been with my husband since we were 18, I’m now 43. We have 3 kids. he has been a functioning alcoholic for many of those years. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t drink. w... View more

Hi everyone, this is my first post. I'm feeling really lost at the moment. I’ve been with my husband since we were 18, I’m now 43. We have 3 kids. he has been a functioning alcoholic for many of those years. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t drink. we’ve argued about it for years, nothing changes. last October, on one particular night after months of him becoming more angry & verbally abusive in front of the kids, I told him to leave after a few days we talked & decided we needed to give it everything we’ve got before we end things. So he came back home agreed to go to couplescounselling. I didn’t ask him to quit drinking outright, I think part of me was scared of the answer & the other part wanted to believe him when he said he could cut right back. The counsellor suggested setting up a agreement as to how much he drank. the agreement was no beer before 3.30pm & max 6 per day. I let him choose the amount. I thought it was still a lot he assured me it was much less than before. I think he was having between 12-18 per day & more on weekends cause he’d start at like 11am. He was good for about a week then went over maybe 2 or 3. I felt so let down when he was having more. He thought I was being ‘over the top & controlling’. Over time it gradually got back to where it was. Then we’d fight, then he’d cut back again then the same cycle over & over…. The week days aren’t too bad, mainly because he is working more so getting home later but weekends are a right off. He’s drunk Fri night then starts early Saturday & Sunday. He makes sure he does some mowing or something to justify cracking a beer so early. When I ask him to cut back he thinks I’m trying to control him. He thinks if he’s not yelling & carrying on there’s no problem with him being drunk. He admits he is an alcoholic but doesn’t think he needs to do anything about it. I think I’ve been living on hope for so long because when he’s sober he’s great & I do love that version of him but this other guy that comes out when he drinks is a complete a**hole. I worry about the effect on my kids. I feel like I’ve been riding this roller coaster for the past few years & I’m over it. I want peace. i think deep down I know he won’t stop. No matter how much I ask, he won’t. so I guess the question is do I walk away or stay….. thanks for listening. I would love to hear your thoughts if you’ve been in a similar situation

Longlost The love of my life has left me
  • replies: 8

Hi, I'm new here and not sure what to expect but I guess nothing can be worse than how I am feeling now. just over 6 weeks ago my partner of 3 and a half years broke up with me. We were waiting to move into the apartment he had bought and it was so s... View more

Hi, I'm new here and not sure what to expect but I guess nothing can be worse than how I am feeling now. just over 6 weeks ago my partner of 3 and a half years broke up with me. We were waiting to move into the apartment he had bought and it was so sudden... He said he isn't happy and he needs to be on his own to sort himself out. He works FIFO and had really started shutting me out. I moved into my own place and am living alone at the moment, I have tried not contacting him, removed him from all social media and deleted his number but we have spoken a few times since it happens, last night being the first time I had seen him in 6 weeks and the last time. He wanted to explain some things to me to help me understand, he still loves me and this was so incredibly hard for him to do but he feels lost, unhappy and wants to be alone while he works his life out. he wants me to be happy and to find someone who can give me everything I need. He said he will always be there if I ever need him and he loves and cares about me so much. He said it would be selfish to say in a year or two who know what would happen because he doesn't want me to hang onto him and to move on and be happy. ive booked an appointment to see a counsellor on Friday but there hasn't been one week since it happened I haven't cried. I've never loved anyone like him and the relationship was never bad so I'm finding it so hard and I don't know what to do.. i was keeping active but the last week I've fallen in a heap.

Cbear Husband chatting to other women
  • replies: 1

Back in 2023 I found my husband on dating sites chatting to other women) I found this through a friend notifying me) plus hacked into his email accounts and Facebook account to investigate further - I found an intimate conversations between my husban... View more

Back in 2023 I found my husband on dating sites chatting to other women) I found this through a friend notifying me) plus hacked into his email accounts and Facebook account to investigate further - I found an intimate conversations between my husband & other girl.. I messaged the said girl confronted my husband with all the information and evidence I have.. things blew up I asked him to leave to give me space to process all this .. husband refused to leave - and tried to commit suicide- I stopped this .. called the Paramedics and police- husband had a mental breakdown spent 4 weeks in the hospital .. furthermore - it came to light .. husband has a sex addiction He was medicated to stop his suicidal thoughts and other obsessions husband loves me and wants us to be forever - our whole marriage & relationship) last 7 years I’ve worked to support my husband while he sorted his mental health issues and for family circumstances) Moving forward 2 yearsthe last few months I have been feeling really down and burned out from my life and work I haven’t been able to take time off from work either since all the above happened in 2023 I’ve had no time to process this heartbeat I just forgave my husband and moved along with life together why am I now not coping with all that’s happened to add to this I’ve emotionally supported financially supported and I’m a mother and step mother to his 3 kids I have my own son whom is an adult) hence I lost my relationship with my brother as he gave me the ultimatum to choose between himself and my husband ) my brother disgusted I chose to forgive my husband - plus my husbands mental health stirs up a lot of part family stuff with our upbringing with our parents - so I’ve lost my brother and nieces and nephews and I’m sitting here just processing all this still which I never dealt with this back in 2023 I just pushed it all aside thinking life would still be great and happy .. I feel like my husbands infidelity has changed me .. I went down a dark place .. kept my feelings to myself ..I have family and friends that I can’t chat to in fear of them being to overprotective and telling my husband what they truly think of him I don’t want this) I don’t want any drama or troubleyet now I’m more alone then ever) with my own thoughts that are really bringing me down ..I often question my husband whom is saying he will never go back down that road of hurting me- I’ve had access to all his social media’s since the infidelity Bach in 2023 My husband gets snappy at me now also- the last few months maybe more to do with the fact that I’ve changed towards him to I don’t know what to do I’m committed to my husband his the love of my life but I can’t help but feel something else will happen in the future where my husband goes back to chatting to other women I feel like I’m hit the same person anymore She is lost somewhere I have no idea how to get through this and how to get myself back again further more I’m a support worker in aged care) so my whole life is caring for others Im truly burnt out!! life is changing now to with my husband now working and providing I’m fearful and unsure about what the future holds I know we need marriage counselling and myself my own therapy I know all this I would like to hear other peoples struggles in marriages have you been through similar ? How did you recover and or what worked for you or not please no judgement

blues23 Toxic family dynamic
  • replies: 8

I really don’t know where to start , my father wants me to bring my child to see my mother ( this happens 3x4 a year birthdays, Xmas ect ) my mother has a long history of being abusive and just down right nasty to myself & my siblings a lot happened ... View more

I really don’t know where to start , my father wants me to bring my child to see my mother ( this happens 3x4 a year birthdays, Xmas ect ) my mother has a long history of being abusive and just down right nasty to myself & my siblings a lot happened when I was growing up a lot of it sad , abusive , due to my mothers behaviours . i have told my father I don’t want to go and visit my mother anymore with my child due to the very real reality of history repeating itself, I’ve had to make up lies so that we don’t have to visit I have to go out of my way to not feel guilty for not visiting and making my fathers Xmas miserable I’m trying to to protect my child from my mother as I don’t want history repeating itself and it will I know my mother . It’s almost like I’m leaving an abusive relationship all over again as my father won’t accept no for an answer and bully’s me into going to see my mother with my child so he can have a peaceful Xmas and whatever . How do I escape this situation? I’ve tried the truth , I’ve tried making up excuses, I want a relationship with my father but I’m starting to feel very trapped by his inability to accept my choices and it’s really making me feel guilty.its almost like I have to run away again when I’m a 40 year old woman .

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