Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Categories
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

TwinmumEST2024 MOTHER ISSUES
  • replies: 1

So ive been emtionally struggling for a month and a half. I had a argument with my 61 year old mother. One of my twins started to walk with her push walker and I was so proud I shared a short video on my Facebook of the back of her head. (I've expres... View more

So ive been emtionally struggling for a month and a half. I had a argument with my 61 year old mother. One of my twins started to walk with her push walker and I was so proud I shared a short video on my Facebook of the back of her head. (I've expressed strongly in the past that I didnt wish to have any photos of videos of my children on social media at all). However I really wanted to share the moment but also was mindful of maintaining my daughters privacy by not showing her face. The next morning I receive a blunt message from my mum "you put the girls on facebook". No good morning, no question mark or anything further. I took that as a dig of my decision as a parent. So I responded saying to her that "I never put their faces on anything. It's only the backs of their heads. Same video that was send to barb. I so not put anything that shows their faces. I also don't need to explain this to you because it was my choice and their mum." She responded hostile and said i was being nasty. And began to swear at me. And said she was only asking. I couldn't understand why she would need to ask me this when she was one of the first people to view it on facebook. I then explained that I dont need to justify anything to her then ended the conversation. She then randomly turned up at my home unannounced, my husband opened the door to her first thing she said "have I don't something wrong. I've blocked your number and you on facebook. She started to argue with me that she was only asking, and I said I didnt need to explain and her message did not look like she was asking, it was a challenge towards my decision. She began to talk over me. My husband told her our children are sleeping. She disregarded this and kept going. I asked her to leave because I didnt wish to argue with her over my decision as a parent. She kept refusing to leave. And tried to talk my husband against me who was sitting on the couch. That is when I had enough of her behaviour and disregard to my family and my home. That she thought she was above me in my home. I started to get angry and my hand was shaking. I told her to get the f$#k out of my house at the top of my lungs and mu husband said you need to leave. On the way out of the house she remarked "you need mental help". My mother has no respect towards my boundaries as a parent of my family. We have not heard from her for a month and a half. I've not contacted her because she stated that day she blocked me. Am I the bad person here? Her house make sent a message to my husband saying that I am the one who "fu#& up" not her. I can't but help feeling guilty about all this. But this has been ongoing behaviour of my mum for my whole life. And this is not how I plan to treat my daughters.

Shesaleo Working away
  • replies: 1

I have been offered a position at work but I have to do overnight travel a few times a year. My partner doesnt like to travel for work and when I said I really want to give this position a go he says thats the difference between u and I, I dont want ... View more

I have been offered a position at work but I have to do overnight travel a few times a year. My partner doesnt like to travel for work and when I said I really want to give this position a go he says thats the difference between u and I, I dont want to go away whereas you cant wait to.Is he being fair? Or am I being selfish by wanting to do this job? We have a 12 year old and 16 year old

Not_grumbling Abusive alcoholic wife
  • replies: 4

We are in our 60’s have been married for 40 years mostly happy but over the last few years my wife has been drinking more and more, now starting as soon as she gets up in the morning. She drinks all day and then the abuse starts. Bringing up trivial ... View more

We are in our 60’s have been married for 40 years mostly happy but over the last few years my wife has been drinking more and more, now starting as soon as she gets up in the morning. She drinks all day and then the abuse starts. Bringing up trivial things over and over, accusing me of things that I have never done and saying disgusting stuff. She has stopped me from seeing family and friends and virtually having a life. I know I should leave but it’s not easy. Is it possible that she has mental issues through alcohol? If so how can I get her help when she won’t admit she has a problem. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Kazza Finally breaking free after 25 years but it still hurts
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone, I’ve never posted before, but I’ve been reading here quietly for a while. Seeing how others put words to their experiences has helped me feel less alone. So I guess it’s my turn now — to share a little of mine. I’ve recently separated af... View more

Hi everyone, I’ve never posted before, but I’ve been reading here quietly for a while. Seeing how others put words to their experiences has helped me feel less alone. So I guess it’s my turn now — to share a little of mine. I’ve recently separated after 25 years in a relationship that I can now see was emotionally, psychologically, and financially abusive. It took me decades to wake up. I kept hoping things would change. I kept telling myself it wasn’t “that bad.” But the truth is… it was slowly destroying me. And it started showing in my children too — their confidence fading, fear creeping into their daily lives, and me watching helplessly while trying to hold everything together. I was the primary carer, but he always held the power — emotionally and financially. My father had supported us for years, and once that money ran out, I saw the truth of how I was viewed. The love disappeared. The respect, gone. What followed was coldness, control, and cruelty masked in “reasonable” words. After the AVO was issued by police, I hoped he might reflect or take accountability — but instead, things got worse behind the scenes. I’m now going through mediation and hoping to create a safe path forward for my kids. I’ve been listening to Dr. Ramani and learning about narcissistic abuse — it's helped so much. But I’m also struggling with guilt. Guilt that I stayed. Guilt that my kids had to live through this. Guilt that I didn’t see it sooner. I’m working through Centrelink, Legal Aid, and trying to find a trauma-informed therapist. Some days I feel strong and hopeful. Other days, I feel completely broken.I’m not sure what I’m looking for here. Maybe just connection. Maybe to hear from others who’ve walked this path. How do you rebuild when so much of your identity was wrapped in surviving? How do you stop feeling like you were the one who failed? Thanks for reading. It feels scary to post this, but also like a small act of reclaiming my voice.

CMF Lonely Hearts Club. Do we miss the person or the relationship?
  • replies: 94

So I've been wandering around the forums and reading people's threads hoping I can be of some use to someone. I've noticed I've been gravitating to threads regarding relationships and breakups and they sound quite similar and the same as my own exper... View more

So I've been wandering around the forums and reading people's threads hoping I can be of some use to someone. I've noticed I've been gravitating to threads regarding relationships and breakups and they sound quite similar and the same as my own experience. Our hearts are broken by people who: no longer want to be with us; cheat on us; stay with us but don't treat us right; That's just to mention a few. There are many reasons why relationships don't work and its always hard on the person trying to keep it together. So if someone cheats on us, treats us badly, lies to us, isn't around when we really need them, why are we so heartbroken when they leave us or why can't we leave them when we are clearly unhappy with the situation? Why do our hearts hurt so much even though it's been broken? Why do we want to stay with the person who broke it? Do we miss the person or miss the relationship or the idea of the person? I can't stand my ex most of the time, he has good traits but at times is rude, irritating, careless, selfish, treated me very badly but still I find myself feeling sad sometimes when I think of the good times but I remind myself that i'm not sure if that was the real him. I question this because he treats him mum the same way and yet she does everything for him. Yes she is annoying and overbearing but how do you treat your own mother like that when she does as much as she does for you? I used to love his laugh, the late night calls, that he made me feel like a teenager again. Now I find his laugh annoying, he's laughing at my expense, I find him irresponsible and childish. Yet I feel sad. I don't miss HIM. I miss the company, the fun, having someone to do things with. I feel lonely. None of this is a new revelation. You can google the topic and read up on it. In time we may start to enjoy being on our own again, being our own person, not being put down or treated badly. We realise we have the chance to meet someone else, someone who really wants us and treats us great, our soul mate. So why do we feel lonely and miss a person who mistreated us, or cheated on us? Why do we fight hard to be with someone who doesn't want us? Why is it so hard to move on? cmf

Guest_62930493 What to do??
  • replies: 1

I have just found out that my husband has been online chatting to other women again! This is the 3rd time I have caught him doing this in the last 3 years! I just don’t know what to do anymore! On one hand I want to just leave him but we have been ma... View more

I have just found out that my husband has been online chatting to other women again! This is the 3rd time I have caught him doing this in the last 3 years! I just don’t know what to do anymore! On one hand I want to just leave him but we have been married for 30 years and it jusa makes me feel sick

TrueSeeker Does the pain ever going to go away?
  • replies: 10

Hello,I grew up in a narcissistic family and due to comfort zone ended in a short abusive marriage as well. My new partner grew up in similar environment and because his parents divorced and remarried more narcissists, we have to deal with three narc... View more

Hello,I grew up in a narcissistic family and due to comfort zone ended in a short abusive marriage as well. My new partner grew up in similar environment and because his parents divorced and remarried more narcissists, we have to deal with three narcissistic families. We haven't really realised what is going on in our lives till recently when we did more research on what is going on in our lives and why we seem to be so unlucky. Unfortunately, we had to cut all our ties with our families as it became very mentally challenging, had a very negative influence on our lives and we started feeling that it's becoming life threatening too as one of my partners brothers committed suicide 20 years ago. I think we have done what we could to deal with the damage that has been done but I still have this pain inside me that keeps interfering with my happiness. It doesn't help that more pain still keeps coming from those families as they're not happy that we're distancing ourselves and still keep causing more harm. I've lived with this pain most of my life and I'd love to hear whether anyone has a similar experience and some tips how to make the pain go away.

Stephen87 So lonely and feel unwanted, in a sexless marriage
  • replies: 1

Look I love my wife I really do, but the last 7-8 years it’s been so hard to be sexual with each other, I mean I have been more then patient with my wife and yes a lot has been going on with medical stuff, but to me I just feel that she doesn’t want ... View more

Look I love my wife I really do, but the last 7-8 years it’s been so hard to be sexual with each other, I mean I have been more then patient with my wife and yes a lot has been going on with medical stuff, but to me I just feel that she doesn’t want to do stuff anymore, I mean for example, one day she will be in so much pain that she’s in bed all day, then the next she is sore but much better, I’ll try and hint at her to do stuff or try and get her in the mood and she will be like not now I’m too sore, but she is ok to do house work all day and clean the garage out and drive to her mums, but she is not even willing to try and get in the mood, I don’t know if anyone out there has these issues but I struggle sometimes and feel like I don’t turn her on anymore, I mean yes I’m older and have put weight on, not a lot but some and have lost 2 of my front teeth when someone slammed a metal door into my face and because of her medical cost I can’t afford to fix my teeth, but I’m not ugly or much different other then that, and I’m not being rude but she has put weight on and is older then me and her body has changed, but I love her body and always want it but I feel she hates my body, again anyone out there that has been through this?

Arnold It’s over
  • replies: 2

I have been married to my wife for 8 and a half years. We have 3 children. she suffers from some mental health issues. ADHD is the most recent conditions she believes she has. I have tried to be there for her the best I can. Sometimes it’s too much f... View more

I have been married to my wife for 8 and a half years. We have 3 children. she suffers from some mental health issues. ADHD is the most recent conditions she believes she has. I have tried to be there for her the best I can. Sometimes it’s too much for me. Our relationship has been rocky lately. But I think it’s all over now. We have had fights but not like this. She’s even moved all my clothes out of the bedroom and I’m in the spare room now. She says I don’t have to leave the house. It will probably be better for the kids if we’re under the same roof at the moment. I can’t sleep. Barely eat. Emotional mess. Only thing keeping me alive is my kids and the glimmer of hope of us getting through this. She says that’s never going to happen. I don’t know if I can keep doing this though. I know I have some issues too. I have a lot of work stress. Am the soul provider for the family. I don’t know what to do