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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Guest_09764308 feeling worthless
  • replies: 1

i’m 19, have multiple chronic illnesses that have rendered me disabled and i’m unlikely to work, i have learning disabilities and processing difficulties, all of these combined has made my family see me as lesser than a human.i had a discussion today... View more

i’m 19, have multiple chronic illnesses that have rendered me disabled and i’m unlikely to work, i have learning disabilities and processing difficulties, all of these combined has made my family see me as lesser than a human.i had a discussion today where even though i am highly educated on the topic bwcause i’m passionate about it, i got told that i was way wrong and i needed to open a history book in the nastiest most disrespectful tone ever, i know i’m correct which is hurting me more because now i’m questioning whether i’ve been taught correctly or whether i am jsut entirely stupid and have no clue what i’m even talking about.this feeling runs so deep for me, i’ve always been treated this way if my family doesn’t agree entirely on the topic, i’m always treated like i’m completely illiterate and worthless to the discussion, even as a kid not even talking about educational things, i’d always been ridiculed and spoken to like i was just dirt on the ground, like i knew nothing whatsoever. today opened up a lot of old feelings that i pushed down and tried to forget about, this year was so hard for me with my family and i finally thought i was pushing past how i was treated and coming out on top, but then i see nyself as the same child who was bullied relentlessly by my own family, to the point of being suicidal multiple times in my life DUE to my family!! my sister abused me and her boyfriend joined in to egg her on, made her worse and made her eventually want to put hands on me, all for it to be blamed on me, that she’s mentally ill and i just need to act differently. i’m always at fault somehow, i’m always the stupid one, i’m always uneducated, i’m always ridiculed, i am nothing to these people but a punching bag to make themselves feel smarter

Pepper Bpd break up
  • replies: 1

My partner has bpd and does therapy and is also medicated, when we first started dating he reached out and said he’s got too much he needs to work through before he can consider a relationship. I didn’t reply not because I didn’t want to but because ... View more

My partner has bpd and does therapy and is also medicated, when we first started dating he reached out and said he’s got too much he needs to work through before he can consider a relationship. I didn’t reply not because I didn’t want to but because I was hurt and didn’t know how to respond, though I had a lot of respect for him sending that message. About 3 weeks later we ran into each other at the shops and he said he’d like to go out again and see where things go, we then hit it off, nothing was off limits in terms of conversation and he was very open, throughout our relationship he would say things like ‘are you sure I’m not too much’ or ‘am I good enough for you’ I would always reassure him to put his mind at ease which he appreciated and said thank you. He said he’s never had a relationship like ours, someone that actually cares so much, so affectionate and he appreciated me being by his side during the dark days. then his father passed and he started not sleeping properly, he was working more, he was saying he feels he is in his body but not there. he then said he was spiralling and said he needs space, I gave him that for 3 weeks while I got minimal communication from him though I’d reach out occasionally and say ‘I hope today feels lighter for you’ he would thank me. yesterday he told me he’s decided he can’t be in a relationship I responded giving him reassurance that I was there for him in the beginning and I still am even when he’s in a better headspace. I told him I understand he’s overwhelmed. he then said he’s serious about not being able to have a relationship. I do feel he’s trying to protect me from the hurt he is feeling, and perhaps ashamed. I feel it’s more a trauma response, he has said ‘I know you’re only trying to help’during the 3 weeks of minimal communication he was still affectionate towards me, when he would cuddle me he would say ‘this is lovely’Is there hope that he will come back once his nervous system starts to regulate again and stabilise

Qwerty Life gets worse.
  • replies: 3

Hi, on top of my depression, my wife told me she is no longer in love with me, she said she doesn't know if she ever will again. We have children, I haven't got a clue what to do. It's just reinforced my idea that suicide would be a viable idea. View more

Hi, on top of my depression, my wife told me she is no longer in love with me, she said she doesn't know if she ever will again. We have children, I haven't got a clue what to do. It's just reinforced my idea that suicide would be a viable idea.

Guest_74433363 Separation
  • replies: 1

separation after 25 years with a coercive violent man. He did everything and now am lost dealing with my life. I had to move and struggling finding a job. He gets to keep his life and job and am so angry. Just don’t know how to get through

separation after 25 years with a coercive violent man. He did everything and now am lost dealing with my life. I had to move and struggling finding a job. He gets to keep his life and job and am so angry. Just don’t know how to get through

Sheridan Controlling parent
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone I’m 28 and wanting to move out and start a life with my partner of three years , currently wanting to look for a rental, while we eventually build a house.However when ever I mention or show my Dad a place he has something bad to say abou... View more

Hi everyone I’m 28 and wanting to move out and start a life with my partner of three years , currently wanting to look for a rental, while we eventually build a house.However when ever I mention or show my Dad a place he has something bad to say about it and get all fussy picking out all the bad things and not the good things, or simply doesn’t care at all and doesn’t have much to say at all. I also feel a great sense of pressure at the moment , wanting to build and settle down in a few years , but finding it very difficult to talk to my dad without him getting all fussy and opinionated, it makes me feel really stuck because it’s like I shouldn’t put in for a particular house or give things a go for myself and just give up. I’ve mentioned multiple times about wanting to move out soon, so it’s been building up for a while, with not a lot of support from him , but then out of blue will says things about * oh when you have your own kids* I feel he is trying to control my life , first it was my job, my car and now my house.I just feel like I don’t have a lot of support from him and cannot talk to him about it.I know I need to move out for my own sanity and freedom , I’ve lived at home till now and finally ready to move on with my life and actually get to experience life. Thanks for taking the time to read this

Guest_49809867 exhausted of trying
  • replies: 1

i thought i was doing okay, but everything is happening at once. my parents and i have a complicated relationship, but it’s improved since i’ve left. still not great, but my mum tries and she’s owned up to what she’s done, which i appreciate. my dad ... View more

i thought i was doing okay, but everything is happening at once. my parents and i have a complicated relationship, but it’s improved since i’ve left. still not great, but my mum tries and she’s owned up to what she’s done, which i appreciate. my dad has always been hot and cold, one second supportive, the next berating me for being a failure. it’s still better than before. i live with my partner now, but he’s wanting to break up with me. 100% my fault, i emotionally cheated. my mental illnesses don’t justify it at all. however, i have nowhere to go and no one besides my psych. i saw texts between my partner and friend’s bf calling me crazy, ridiculing, and mocking me during a suicidal breakdown. this has caused tension w my other friend. my partner made me cut off a friend because we used to date 3 years ago. i have no one i can trust anymore. i’m failing uni solely because of attendance (grades are distinction), which my parents don’t know. what little money i make, half goes to my parents to help their mortgage, and the rest for bills. my partner pays for a lot. if i go back to my parents, i don’t think i’ll survive. i can’t afford my psychiatrist, bills, and rent without dropping out of uni. i don’t know. i’m so tired of everything. exams are this week. i’m exhausted. i know it’s self-pitying, but i really do think i’m a horrible person that everybody hates. i feel so paranoid because i can’t trust anyone and think everyone hates me. i’m tired of being a failure and i’m scared because i have no one to turn to. my cat is the only thing keeping me here. if i go back to my parents, i can’t bring her. sorry if you read everything. my mind is a mess and i haven’t been sleeping well.

Patricia000 Tired
  • replies: 5

Hi there,I feel bad complaining because I live a pretty good comfortable life.I think I've been a bit overwhelmed the past few years and it's catching up to me.There are a few things I'm having trouble with and don't really know how to start tackling... View more

Hi there,I feel bad complaining because I live a pretty good comfortable life.I think I've been a bit overwhelmed the past few years and it's catching up to me.There are a few things I'm having trouble with and don't really know how to start tackling - I just feel too tired to even do anything about it anyway when it feels like there are easier alternatives at this point.My relationship with my mother isn't great. I don't know if I'm overreacting or if its truly my fault, but she says I'm the cause of all her mental health problems and if anything ever happens to her it'll be because of me. It becomes a bit of a vicious cycle, because her being hurtful (ridiculing things I enjoy, calling me names, yelling at me for mistakes) makes me not want to be around her. Then when I don't interact with her, she says it's my fault our relationship is bad because I won't make the effort. In some parts I believe that is true, but I know I can't be solely to blame for that either, it's just hard. I really can't bring myself to be bright and happy around her anymore. Today I got yelled at for not throwing out something in the fridge that only expired today - I'd been at work all morning... I often just go and sit in the park at night to get away from her yelling, but it's cold and I don't want to do that any more.I had a really good relationship with my best friend a few months ago and we decided to be partners. It was really nice for a few months, we got along super well, but I ended up breaking it off because I realised I was gay. I feel really bad because I should have known at my age. I think the things my mum said to me growing up kind of delayed me realising it, or I just forced myself not to acknowledge it. My best friend was so supportive and kind about it, genuinely he was lovely, but now it feels like there's a distance between us again. Which is normal. The absence is just hitting a bit hard, going from hanging out to nothing. I'm overly sensitive now too and I take every criticism from him as a sign that he hates me now. I just feel like a jerk.I'm in my exam period now for a post-grad degree and I am studying hard each day and just feeling exhausted, which is compounding things. I failed a practical skills exam and now have to resit it - if I fail again, I get kicked out of my course. I am trying to look forward to the holidays, but I feel like by the time I get there it won't have been worth it and I'll still be miserable.Thank you for your time - I'm sorry.

Earth Girl Feel hurt and left out
  • replies: 5

I live with my parents. My older sister has a child (toddler that we will call Bob) and a husband who live in a house fairly close to us and my younger sister lives in a different city, but in the same country. When I visit my older sister, most of t... View more

I live with my parents. My older sister has a child (toddler that we will call Bob) and a husband who live in a house fairly close to us and my younger sister lives in a different city, but in the same country. When I visit my older sister, most of the time that I am at her house, I am looking after Bob while she has a break or does some cleaning which is fair enough because I understand she needs breaks and Bob is really lovely anyway so it's nice spending time with him of course. Today, her husband invited me and my Mum over to help and hang out because Bob has a cold. I was thinking it would be great because we'll get to hang out like a family, but from the moment I got there, they expected me to do almost all the baby stuff. After being there for a minute, my older sister said to me in a kind of aggressive way "Okay, Earth Girl, you're on Bob duty" and she then went to have a friendly chat with Mum while I was watching Bob in the back door way. Bob and I later went outside the back, while my sister and Mum were still inside chatting and I was talking and playing with him and this went on for at least 40ish minutes. After they had there long chat, my Mum helped her tidy the house a bit with some vacuuming and wiping the kitchen while I was still watching Bob. I understand that by doing that, she was also helping my sister, but looking after Bob is harder and I know that if Mum got asked if she wanted to clean or look after Bob, 10/10 times she would choose clean and if I was the one cleaning and chatting with my sister, she would be a lot more annoyed than I am. Also, after they cleaned, they just started chatting again and my sister didn't say much to me at all (chatting wise). My sister would never talk to my younger sister like that (tell her that she was on Bob duty while spending time with Mum). This is no different than if I had a baby, and I told her that she was on Bill duty and then just chatted with Mum or if I told Mum that she was on Bill duty and I just chatted with my sister. I'm not annoyed with her for wanting help, I am annoyed with them for leaving me out and putting all of this part on me while they just chatted mostly and the way they talked to me. Close to the end, they both said "We should do this again" and I was thinking um, I think I'll go by myself next time. (When I go by myself, I'm mostly just with Bob too, but at least it's not just me). I want to discuss this to them, but they will get likely get angry with me and.....

Guest_51483920 I am hurting everyone close to me
  • replies: 2

Hi, I am putting this out there in hopes someone else can relate. I am turning 40 this year and have struggled with poor mental health most of my life. My father died when I was 11 and I grew up in a house with an abusive brother due to his drug prob... View more

Hi, I am putting this out there in hopes someone else can relate. I am turning 40 this year and have struggled with poor mental health most of my life. My father died when I was 11 and I grew up in a house with an abusive brother due to his drug problem, my other siblings were less then supportive as they were old to enough to move away and have their own lives. My life at home however was crap. I was intimidated and beaten periodically by brother and my mother refused to do anything so the abuse just dragged out for years and years. Jump forward 20 years to A few months after Covid, my mum passed away and I moved interstate with my partner to "escape" I started a new job and in my head have been doing everything right. Since moving though I think I have developed a serious case of "anger" and "alcoholism" and general lack of self care I have begun to out on weight and I just dont have the motivation to change. I snap when I feel like I'm not heard and anything triggers an overwhelming and uncontrollable surge of explosive emotions. Unfortunately lately it has been affecting those around me more then I knew. I expect alot from the people i love because i dont have anyone else, My friend circle is shrinking as I moved and i am so broken i cant make any new friends so I vent to my partner. She looks at me now and I can see she doesn't see the same person she feel in love with, its now a look of exhaustion and regret. It makes me sad...& angry. We fight non stop, name calling etc with no real outcome. She is as sick of me as I am of myself. My entire world is falling down around me & I don't know where to begin to fix it. I have been using alcohol as way to cope and throwing myself into my work to stay busy and I know its not good I'm aware it makes it worse. I feel like I just need the world to forgive me and let me start again with a blank slate as the person sitting here typing isn't who I am. I love my family and my partner and I want to make them happy and proud to be part of my life. I feel like no one gets it, I am looking for forgiveness but everyone wants change. I feel like my relationship is when a immovable object meets an unstoppable force. I know my partner loves me but she is so fed up she can't help me when I need her to the most. I have to change myself by myself and I dont know how. If anyone has any advice please I am desperate to take even the smallest of steps in the right direction.

Guest_87729724 Tired and drained
  • replies: 1

I have been with my partner for 20 yrs he has been doing strange things and accusing me of cheating and having people around the house eating for me ect he checked the bedrooms and checks me in the shower to c if iv got somebody in there with me it’s... View more

I have been with my partner for 20 yrs he has been doing strange things and accusing me of cheating and having people around the house eating for me ect he checked the bedrooms and checks me in the shower to c if iv got somebody in there with me it’s been so stressfulits about to send me crazy so I got him to c a dr and he has now been prescribed medication to treat schizophrenia and bipolar he has been ok last few days

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