Gambling addiction

[Djay25]

I have recently just told my partner I have a gambling addiction. This is the second time I have had to tell him in the past three years. The first time I got loans out, his mum helped me with money to pay off the loans. I lasted three years nearly without gambling. Then we would play a bit together in the last year and a bit, I promised I wouldn’t gamble without him. Which we didn’t do often together.  Then I got bored one day and started gambling by my self. It started off okay, I would put some in and if I lost I would just leave it. Then it didn’t take long from there to get bad again. I wasted most of my inheritance on gambling, got loans out to gamble with but lost it all. The first time I told him, he was angry but we got through it. This time I’m not to sure. I have betrayed his trust, I said I would never get loans out again, I’ve lost what my Nan and pop worked hard for that they gave me when they died. He has told his mum, which breaks my heart, I’m now going to be hated by his whole family. He has  sort of come around, he is taking full control of my finances (which I agree on) I’ve promised I will change, I will speak to someone (therapist) is there anyway of changing this around? Will I gain his trust back? His mums trust back? Even though he said she just let him vent and she didn’t say anything. How do I go about this? I’m so lost. This is the person I am. I’m not an untrustworthy person, I don’t lie. I have become everything I didn’t want to become. I feel like just ending it all. 

[Sophie_M]

Hi Djay25,
 
Welcome to the Forums. We are so sorry to hear about what you have been going through. We want you to know that you are not alone in this. Even if we might not see it, there are many people who have trouble with gambling.
 
Well done on telling your partner. Although it was no doubt incredibly difficult, it was a huge and brave step to tell him. It sounds like there is a lot of self-blame and guilt here, and we want to take a moment to acknowledge that this is something no one would choose for themselves. The best things you can do now is exactly what you are doing – being honest and reaching out for support.
 
For some additional support. we recommend reaching out to Gambling Help Online, who are one of the experts in this space. They offer a 24/7 helpline on 1800 858 858, as well as online chat and self-help modules.
 
It is an important time to look after yourself, too. You are always welcomne to reach out to the Beyond Blue Support Service on 1300 22 4636, or webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support. A few more options are Lifeline on 13 11 14, or the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467.

Thank you again for your courage and strength in sharing your story here. This is a truly judgment-free space and you are always welcome here.

Kind regards
Sophie M