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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Ilovedoogos My husband loves his hand more than me.
  • replies: 5

I’m writing this post more to just vent and talk about my feelings. I’m young but have been with my husband for a very long time. We love each other very much and I don’t doubt that. We are like best friends. But the intimacy has gone. He doesn’t hug... View more

I’m writing this post more to just vent and talk about my feelings. I’m young but have been with my husband for a very long time. We love each other very much and I don’t doubt that. We are like best friends. But the intimacy has gone. He doesn’t hug me, kiss me, cuddle me. I just don’t feel like he lets me in. I really don’t mind if my husband watches porn. But we don’t have sex a lot. So it make me feel so inadequate and unattractive. I feel like he prefers to just do it on his own than be close to me. I woke up to him in the bathroom doing it. It made my fears feel real. When he came to bed I ended up having a panic attack. But I didn’t say why. He was so sweet talking me through breathing. I guess im just struggling with my feelings of not being good enough or attractive enough for him. I feel angry and sad and a little lonely. Please tell me someone out there is feeling like this?

blueraven No family, no close friends or others
  • replies: 15

Hi, because of my toxic family situation I had to leave them. I found myself among some toxic people after that several times over and learnt the lesson that I had to leave them too. I now live by myself and other than 2 not-so-close friends, I don't... View more

Hi, because of my toxic family situation I had to leave them. I found myself among some toxic people after that several times over and learnt the lesson that I had to leave them too. I now live by myself and other than 2 not-so-close friends, I don't really have any other friends. I've tried getting closer to these friends but they have their own problems. I feel so alien, like there's no way I'll ever be able to have a close family-like group of friends or a partner, even though that's what I ultimately want. I put it off for many years because I was doing my own healing work, but each year that passes by the more alien and undeserving I feel. Now with covid also, it's getting very hard to meet others. I don't feel capable of working. I do have professional support, that's about it. I was wondering if anyone else is in the same boat? No one close. Is it possible to live like this? If I died perhaps no one would even notice for days...

NKB My partner is a recovering addict
  • replies: 7

Just to be clear straight up I do not have an addiction but I’m here for support as my partners addictions have really effected our relationship and my trust towards him since everything’s come to light. My partner and I have been together for just o... View more

Just to be clear straight up I do not have an addiction but I’m here for support as my partners addictions have really effected our relationship and my trust towards him since everything’s come to light. My partner and I have been together for just over 3 and a half years and we have have a 18month old child and I’m currently pregnant with our 2nd. However the last year has been nothing but a roller coaster. My partner had somewhere along the way become addicted to meth and gambling... it has been an extremely hard road just getting him to somewhat admit he has a problem but unfortunately for me I have felt so alone, I feel angry, sad and then sometimes I honestly don’t even know how to feel. I knew my partner had been lying to me but I had no proof and then the times I caught him out or was able to prove he’d been lying were the only times I could somewhat get the truth. The hardest thing I’m struggling with now is the trust because it’s totally gone from my end.... My partner has started to see a doctor which whilst I acknowledge this is a step in the right direction I’m still finding a lot of things so hard.... a perfect example of this is like the other day I asked him when he’d be interested in the both of us going to go and speak to someone professionally and he turned around and said I thought I was doing ok... this upset me because yeah the last three weeks he’s been clean and stopped but that hasn’t solved all of our now problems. I feel quite lost atm and I know at times I am probably taking my emotions out on him but I really don’t know how to be and everything he said he would never be he became and worse and I will admit I’m struggling to let some stuff go. if anyone has any advice please help.

Flower Step parent stress
  • replies: 3

Hello,I'm just really having a hard day today and needed to find a space to let it out. I am super stressed over my partners kids. I have none of my own, only one previous partner had a child and it didn't get serious enough to meet said child. Partn... View more

Hello,I'm just really having a hard day today and needed to find a space to let it out. I am super stressed over my partners kids. I have none of my own, only one previous partner had a child and it didn't get serious enough to meet said child. Partner and I have been together over a year, now live together - happened organically - we love it. Met his kids from day one. Teen son goes up an down - normal teen stuff. I can handle it.Teen daughter on the other hand is very difficult. I very much want to have a good relationship with her ( and boy but you know - girl stuff). I understand she has stuff going on. Typical teen girl stuff, previous life stuff, non healthy relationship with biological mother but the way she can absolutely rage on me is heart breaking. She can make me feel as small as an ant. I want nothing but the best for both of them. I try to find them alternatives to school cos they don't like it, i try to help them set up for a decent future, she shrugs it off saying she will just go with the flow. Her dad has said she always tries to run off partners of his. I get it. She doesnt want to be "replaced" and im not here to do that.im not trying to replace her mother or her relationship with her dad. I have told her that, tried to show her that. Sometimes she is sweet as pie and sometimes she is yelling and throwing things. She says some absolutely vile hurtful things. Partner has spoken to her to explain that I am not here to replace anyone I just want to help everyone be their best like a family should. I don't know if any of this makes sense. I just had a moment today where I told her her she needs to stop face timing a friend while she was doing her online schooling and she went off. I can't even fake neutrality anymore and said I was sick of her shit and she said that I'm the one with shit because I make everything difficult and about me...I don't know how. Maybe because Im bringing up stuff with her dad and he tells her off when usually he wouldn't say as much cos he too is tired of her shit. What am I doing wrong? Do I distance myself? I cant keep trying with her much longer and getting shut down because it hurts my heart. I honestly want nothing but the best for these kids, I love them. I just dont know what to do. Maybe just let it all go and if she ends up a deadbeat then thats the road she wanted. My partner and I are both exhausted with her.

Lyssaa Adjusting to a healthy relationship
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, Nearly two weeks ago, I got into a new relationship after being in the talking/dating stage with a guy for about seven weeks. Everything is going really well - I've met his family, we're both busy with uni and exams right now so we give ... View more

Hi everyone, Nearly two weeks ago, I got into a new relationship after being in the talking/dating stage with a guy for about seven weeks. Everything is going really well - I've met his family, we're both busy with uni and exams right now so we give each other the space needed to work on our assignments and study, and he's incredibly open, supportive and kind. I cannot fault him in any way. However, my last relationship was one which was emotionally abusive. Towards the end it became clear that he was only interested in me sexually despite him telling me otherwise, I was constantly anxious and on-edge and I was never welcomed into his family or his incredibly toxic friend group. Because of this, I am having a hard time adjusting into my new relationship. I want to be open and affectionate and be confident initiating intimacy, but I find myself becoming very withdrawn and panicking a lot internally, even though I know logically that I am in a safe place now. I have communicated to my boyfriend that due to my past experiences, intimacy might be a bit awkward and stiff for me at first and it's not because of him, it's just the adjustment process, and he was super understanding, but I still have a hard time trusting that he's okay with it and won't resent me or hate me for it. I've spoken to some of my friends about it who have been in similar situations where being in their first healthy relationship after an abusive or toxic one was very uncomfortable at first and took some time to get used to. I guess I'm just looking for any advice, or any reassurance that it does get easier, and how to let myself relax and be more comfortable, and let go of the constant anxiety because I don't need it anymore, but I can't seem to let it go.

Not Dad on his own
  • replies: 1

Recently separated dad of two. Eldest is severely autistic. I’ve got mates here in Victoria but no family or great support network. Pretty bitter towards their mum but keep it amicable for the kids. Feeling super alone and isolated. I work full time ... View more

Recently separated dad of two. Eldest is severely autistic. I’ve got mates here in Victoria but no family or great support network. Pretty bitter towards their mum but keep it amicable for the kids. Feeling super alone and isolated. I work full time in a new career as I left my last with ptsd/depression. Other than meds n psych (I’m onto them) does anyone know of any help available, ndis or otherwise. I’m feeling like it’s all getting on top of me.

AnnieK Porn Addicted Partner
  • replies: 10

I have just discovered my husband of 40 years has been addicted to porn for about 9 years. Can you imagine. This is a man I loved and adored.I am shocked, so devastated and am only managing my life day to day. I knew something was terribly wrong when... View more

I have just discovered my husband of 40 years has been addicted to porn for about 9 years. Can you imagine. This is a man I loved and adored.I am shocked, so devastated and am only managing my life day to day. I knew something was terribly wrong when intimacy stopped. I feel like a fool to believe all his excuses from work load, tired, prostate issues even the death of a family member. My life as I knew it has been destoyed. He gas started counselling and wants to be a better man. All help out there is for addicts ! Where is help for the spouses suffering such trauma. Please help me.

shope93 Why are women allowed to tell men to kill themselves?
  • replies: 5

I've been pushed to the absolute limit. Now I'm going to ask these hard questions. Why do women get away with telling men to kill themselves? I put up with being told I'm a useless, weak and pathetic man and I should die. Is this a normal thing? Why ... View more

I've been pushed to the absolute limit. Now I'm going to ask these hard questions. Why do women get away with telling men to kill themselves? I put up with being told I'm a useless, weak and pathetic man and I should die. Is this a normal thing? Why am I automatically a bad person for being male? Why is this happening? Is there no hope left for us?

Bula97 Break up in process of grieving low self esteem
  • replies: 2

Hi there, um I literally don’t know where to start off right now but here I go I’ve been in a long term relationship I can say it was good at the start but then some twist and turns got in the way. When I was with my ex I thought this is real this is... View more

Hi there, um I literally don’t know where to start off right now but here I go I’ve been in a long term relationship I can say it was good at the start but then some twist and turns got in the way. When I was with my ex I thought this is real this is my new chapter and it was gonna work well it didn’t it’s been 8 years since we’ve been together or more I’m not sure but I’ve finally pulled the strings and told myself it’s time that I move on and distance myself from him as it wasn’t working out anymore I didn’t feel the love or the spark and neither did he. I felt used betrayed and worthless knowing now I haven’t seen him for weeks it’s good but in the way it’s like a hard grieving some days it’s hard I joined a gym to help but I feel like I’m not pushing myself enough but I don’t know why! I feel like I’m trying to just do things to keep my mind occupied and not be either stuck in the room some days or just completely shut everything out I don’t know I feel extremely tired and I hate it I hate the way I am and that I’m doing this to myself I just need advice or any support to keep me motived and to keep pushing because I wanna make it to the end and actually completely change.

unkown87 Messed up
  • replies: 3

Needing advise and help in anyway possible. I’m married and I have been seeing this guy for 2yrs he is also married. In a nutshell he can’t have sex with me cause of guilt but has done everything else sexually with me. He wants to leave his wife as h... View more

Needing advise and help in anyway possible. I’m married and I have been seeing this guy for 2yrs he is also married. In a nutshell he can’t have sex with me cause of guilt but has done everything else sexually with me. He wants to leave his wife as he said he is not in love with her anymore. I’m feeling really rejected and not good enough at this point and I feel as though he takes what we have for granted. I dunno what to do anymore as I’m madley in love with him and have never felt this way ever about anyone. This is my situation I a nutshell but any Advise on that so far will be helpful