Relationship and family issues

43 years of absolute attacks.

replies: 2

It seems Australia is meant to be a lucky country. But not for us who seem to be on the receiving end of evil people who see that kind gentle nature as easy prey. Yes we know evil is generally weak for they not attack evil but send kind people into t... View more

It seems Australia is meant to be a lucky country. But not for us who seem to be on the receiving end of evil people who see that kind gentle nature as easy prey. Yes we know evil is generally weak for they not attack evil but send kind people into trauma death abuse. Can I say mental health wouldn't exist if good people became empowered protected and the reassurance of safety. Primarily people generally as a majority call it the game of life to destroy others and it seems they know how to avoid the red tape. Yes we know why good kind people are targeted because they do not revenge and the perpertraitors know this. If bad people thought good people were vigilant as a majority towards chaoticism in society good would be a dominating force. Good kind people face phobias fears generally a period of depression plus other mental health conditions as bad person culture is becoming a fashion trend. Bad people are empowered in television movies media of life. It seems we make or fear standing up to bad people because 9 times out of ten they are affiliated to a group. General rule is fear of pain in all facets of the body or loss stops the ability of defence. Best advice is if your kind or good detach completely instantly from the chaos. Do not use drugs to self medicate trauma it will still be there until you work through it to become a survivor. It seems 20 times of bad things are happening than reported to legal systems and reported statistics. It seems we sympathise with attackers and fear them for our whole lives. I have many not by my bad behaviour but as seen as a easy target because I was never allowed to find myself in a very extreme drug fuelled household and environment that involved a large group of murders drug dealers rapists. This environment aling with a misconception of soiling my pants which was not true made me a target in high school by the well off popular bullies in my year level. So for six years traumatic assaults abuse slander thefts and torment. Because of constant trauma fears dysfunction I fell into weed addiction. This with default stress triggers everyday led to scizoaffective disorder and boy ohh boy was that a blow. So now insanity that cannot understand a reality based life of painful tension anxiety distortion and fear based phobias. So really. My advice is the way to find peace is leave chaos and seek peace within. Being alone with sanity peace is better than living in chaos with insanity mayhem. It seems democracy isnt something that will prevent bad people but generate more as sin is paramount in democracy.

Argument with my mum

replies: 2

I just had an argument with my mum. I really thought it would be nothing big, she has OCD and is a controlling narcissistic person, and im also her PTSD trigger due to her own traumas. She goes through my wardrobe this morning and throws everything s... View more

I just had an argument with my mum. I really thought it would be nothing big, she has OCD and is a controlling narcissistic person, and im also her PTSD trigger due to her own traumas. She goes through my wardrobe this morning and throws everything she doesn't like, or anything that isn't organised her way, onto my bed, she asks me to fix it, but I said "why do you have to go into my wardrobe?" Cause this is a weekly occurrence and im tired of her shit. She goes on for 30 minutes about how I hate her and shes all up in my face spitting on me as she speaks, and telling me how she does everything for me and all she asks is I make.my wardrobe and room perfect (which they are always bc of her OCD) she then grounds me and says im causing her to stress and im going to give her cancer. She threatened to put my dog down as a punishment too because I didn't want to walk him a kilometre to the park when he can barely walk 200m without collapsing. Like im sorry, but I think a short walk is better than watching him collapse on himself. She then tells me to cancel all my.babysitting jobs I have coming up, which is last minute as I have one tomorrow, and she tells me to call my boss and say I can't work. Which this doesnt just affect me but the people that employ me as it's a small business. I tell her im not doing that and she said she will message them all herself, and she goes on and on about how much she loves me and hates to do this, but I leave her no choice, and then she goes on about her traumatic childhood and how she used to be beaten and im like, mum, im 16, you're telling me off for something I wasn't even alive for???!!! Like, im sorry I didn't defend you when I was a freaking egg in your ovaries! And she had to leave the house after this to go food shopping but then she goes, I provide food and a home for you, and all I ask is that you have your wardrobe how I want it. I'm sorry but is that not the basic things a parent should do?? She then proceeds to tell my brother and sister to go shopping with her because im not competent enough to care for them because she think ill run away or off myself. Like, im sorry but love you're more likely to crash your car while driving in this mental condition you're in than me doing that to myself. Ugh, what do I do?

Surviving manipulation

replies: 1

Hi allI'm struggling to cope with recent events within my family. A friend that I had trusted and welcomed into our family turned out to be grooming my daughters (17+18), successfully manipulating my eldest to believe she needed to leave home, and th... View more

Hi allI'm struggling to cope with recent events within my family. A friend that I had trusted and welcomed into our family turned out to be grooming my daughters (17+18), successfully manipulating my eldest to believe she needed to leave home, and then began dating her. I did not see this coming at all. She was going to visit her grandparents for a few days and sent a text saying she was moving out. Her father rushed to try to talk her through the issues, which neither of us had any idea of as the night before she was laughing and joking on the end of our bed. A few days later we found out the friend was driving halfway across the country to visit her, and that they were dating. He is 49. The sheer disgust of him wanting to touch her, coupled with the guilt of letting him into our lives, and the betrayal of our friendship and the pain of my daughter doing all of this behind our backs... I'm not OK. I can't trust her, I've lost my friend (which apparently was all a lie anyway) and I'm spiralling into despair.I'm so angry that I have poured so much of myself into both of them - talking him through his darkest moments, and raising her as best as I can between her semi regular poor life choices (we had her diagnosed with audhd because her impulse control and risk assessment were non existent... but she refuses to take her meds). Neither of them care what that has cost me. I feel like I have nothing left to give and in all honesty I feel like I need to cut her out of my life for my own well being. Obviously, he's not a friend any more, though I don't know if she is still dating him. We have 2 children still at home, 15 and 17. They've been pillars of strength through this and I feel so bad that they aren't getting the life they deserve because of all the energy their sister sucks out of all of us. I just need to talk it out I guess. It's already been a painfully long year and I feel very bleak.

Broken and helpless

replies: 3

Hi everyone, I have just come out of a very toxic relationship with a meth addict. We have been on and off for 3 yrs, he has full custody of his 8yr old son and I have played mum as she isn't involved. When we met he told me he had been clean for 3 y... View more

Hi everyone, I have just come out of a very toxic relationship with a meth addict. We have been on and off for 3 yrs, he has full custody of his 8yr old son and I have played mum as she isn't involved. When we met he told me he had been clean for 3 yrs. 6 weeks in everything started. He started using meth weekly and I found out he had only been off it for 3 months.He has made so many promises to get help and stay off meth but it never sticks for more than 2 weeks. He was physically and verbally abusive more verbal than anything. He would kick me out every month then after a couple of days beg for me back. Every time I caved and believed his lies. I left him on new years day as he went out new years eve and cheated on me and stated at another woman's house. His son has been taken out of his care because he was physically hurting him in the end the police r sorting him out for that.But I am now homeless and couch surfing as my family r sick of helping me and then I go back. I feel so lost, hurt, betrayed and broken. I used to have a great life before I met him and now I have nothing. I don't know wat to do anymore

Husband doesn’t like my children

replies: 4

We are a blended family. Husband does not like his step kids. Always blames them for everything, accuses them even if they didn’t do anything. Thinks they are toxic when they aren’t. Favours his son all the time. Talks negatively to me about my kids,... View more

We are a blended family. Husband does not like his step kids. Always blames them for everything, accuses them even if they didn’t do anything. Thinks they are toxic when they aren’t. Favours his son all the time. Talks negatively to me about my kids, puts them done. Can’t wait till they grow up and leave the home. Need help on what to do?! I love my kids and I even love his son. He blames his unhappiness on the kids but he knew what he was doing when we met. I am wondering should I stay with him or leave because he is very nasty to my kids. He is always finding something to pick on and be negative.

Feeling lost

replies: 2

Never had a huge group of friends or anything but recently really feeling alone I do stuff like keep busy to combat the feeling. I’ve moved and no I don’t really know anyone here, but regardless I just really struggle to make friends I’m super awkwar... View more

Never had a huge group of friends or anything but recently really feeling alone I do stuff like keep busy to combat the feeling. I’ve moved and no I don’t really know anyone here, but regardless I just really struggle to make friends I’m super awkward when getting to know someone and just struggle to meet new people, make new friends etc especially around my age group im quite young yet feel it’s so hard to meet others anyone else feel this way even where i grew up i kinda always felt out of place

I'd love some help

replies: 3

Hi guys this is my first post on here but i really need some suggestions and people to understand and know my problem. Just after New Years my mum signed me up for ballet and i never wanted to do it ever. Its really embarassing and scary because i’m ... View more

Hi guys this is my first post on here but i really need some suggestions and people to understand and know my problem. Just after New Years my mum signed me up for ballet and i never wanted to do it ever. Its really embarassing and scary because i’m the only boy in the class. Its giving me bad anxiety and just real bad time. Plus the stretching and assisted stretching in ballet is so painful and the girls in my class just laugh and push harder, or make fun of me. That makes me feel trapped and terrible. I was wondering if anyone knew what i should do? Or how to deal with the pain from the bad stretching. Thanks guys id really appreciate your help.

Scared, weak

replies: 1

I'm scared I'm not strong enough that my ex will not get it through his head i no longer want a relationship not with him not with anyone, we have a police issued family violence order (for him) last weekend, he's promised before to change but I no l... View more

I'm scared I'm not strong enough that my ex will not get it through his head i no longer want a relationship not with him not with anyone, we have a police issued family violence order (for him) last weekend, he's promised before to change but I no longer believe I've tried too hard for too long waiting for him to change its never going to happen i need to stick up for my kids that is his target (verbally, minimal physical) not acceptable never acceptable and I'm so guilty for letting it go on for so long my eldest son left me because of this (now 17 at his dads) and my 12yr old daughter became the new target of derogatory remarks teasing bullying belittling nit picking bossing being jealous of my kids, picking on my 5yr old (also his, 12yr old not not 17yr old), how do I be strong and stick to my decision I've given in too many times before I feel he thinks this is the same and I'm determined it won't be but I don't feel strong, I've given in to conflict so much lately because I can't handle the drama the anger. I'm not that person I'm not angry all the time but he made me feel that was my only choice, I am ashamed of myself for the past for now I don't feel I can talk to my family about how I feel I'm so terribly ashamed. I'm not in a good place but I have to return to work as I'm letting them down too by taking time off and I think I need the distraction and friends, I can't stop cleaning my house and decluttering i just want to throw it all out, I want him to get his stuff but don't want to push him as I'm afraid when he realises it's over for real he will get mad and I will have more to deal with I'm scared I don't have enough fight in me

Separating from lying, cheating, cross-dressing Husband - upset and confused

replies: 5

I'm very new to reaching out - here goes... My husband and I are currently separating (living under the same roof - until he house sells). There have been warning signs which I have put down to his health issues (diabetes) for that last 15 years of o... View more

I'm very new to reaching out - here goes... My husband and I are currently separating (living under the same roof - until he house sells). There have been warning signs which I have put down to his health issues (diabetes) for that last 15 years of our 30 yr marriage (he has not been interested in 'special cuddles'), has been secretive about Tax returns, deletes all phone txts, messages, recent call lists etc. Recently also discovered he has been siphoning money from his pay each fortnight (we have joint accounts where our pay goes), has accumulated significant debt (on credit cards I didn't know existed), has been having 'emotional affairs' with people at work and online, lies about having to go to work on the weekend (I went there and he wasn't there), plus found photos on his phone of him dressed in my clothes with a wig and makeup. He has also been secretly drinking alcohol and seems to be in a constant state of drunkeness ( which I stupidly though it was the diabetes and eating the wrong foods making his blood sugars sky-rocket). He has been very argumentative and aggressive. So now we are separating and while I know there is no other way out of this (I have suggested counselling but he has refused on multiple occasions - just promised things would get better).. I am so struggling and am very emotional (close to tears all the time). He, however, doesnt seem upset at all and is telling everyone he is very happy - is on multiple dating sites etc., I am struggling with the fact that I think he never really did have feelings for me as he has moved on immediately. The future no longer looks like I thought it would be with the person that I loved (not sure he actually is who I thought he was). After 30 years and looking forward to retirement - my world now is upside down. How to put this all into perspective and 'keep going' every day? The last 15 years haven't been great and I wasnt sure how I could keep going inside the marriage - and now I am wondering how to continue outside the marriage...

My mum wants to divorce from my dad, but we don't have much options for housing?

replies: 1

This may be lengthy but please bear with me here. My mum has been wanting a divorce for a couple years now, but the main things that have prevented her from this out have been the lack of clear housing options for us.currently living together is my m... View more

This may be lengthy but please bear with me here. My mum has been wanting a divorce for a couple years now, but the main things that have prevented her from this out have been the lack of clear housing options for us.currently living together is my mum, my dad, 17yo daughter (me), and two 6yo sons.Her main reason for wanting to separate from my dad is his incompetence and the unequal division of labour. This is something I noticed on my own growing up. My dad really does nothing in terms of raising his kids. Ive never seen him read to my younger brothers, or give them baths, etc. He rlly does nothing for them or for me . We are not close at all. All of the responsibility and the work that comes with parenting is laid on my mum. I help out as much as I can but I know it's nowhere near enough since a 17 year old girl probably can't substitute a father well. I'm also about to enter my final year of high school which includes major exams. I don't want to sacrifice my own opportunities and my life just because of the misfortune of having a poor excuse for a dad. Genuinely all my dad does aside from going to work is eat, nap 50 times a day, watch stuff on his computer. He also has an office of his own where most of his time is spent (the eating, watching movies, other work stuff, etc). If hes not in his office he's sleeping. My parents also have separate rooms-mum with the boys and dad in his own room, so! We dont have very many options in terms of housing or where we could go if a divorce actually does happen. I doubt the custody over me and my brothers would be shared or split 50/50 given his incompetence. I see myself to be pretty independent and I dont have issues taking care of myself, but I also doubt anybody who knows my dad and his "parenting" style would trust him to raise two primary school kids on his own. So the living situation almost definitely would be mum + 3 kids.We're already not in the best financial situation. Its not that we're 'poor' but things are still tight. Whilst my mum was on maternity leave after giving birth to my brothers, her work place shut down permanently and she has not worked since.I feel a sense of urgency here because my dad sets an example for my brothers, no matter how much I or my mum can interfere. I would seriously appreciate any advice or some semblance of a solution anybody has to offer!

Pinned discussions

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

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All discussions

43 years of absolute attacks.

replies: 2

Argument with my mum

replies: 2

Surviving manipulation

replies: 1

Broken and helpless

replies: 3

Husband doesn’t like my children

replies: 4

Feeling lost

replies: 2

I'd love some help

replies: 3

Scared, weak

replies: 1

Separating from lying, cheating, cross-dressing Husband - upset and confused

replies: 5

My mum wants to divorce from my dad, but we don't have much options for housing?

replies: 1

Relationship and family issues

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about replies: 0

43 years of absolute attacks. replies: 2

Argument with my mum replies: 2

Surviving manipulation replies: 1

Broken and helpless replies: 3

Husband doesn’t like my children replies: 4

Feeling lost replies: 2

I'd love some help replies: 3

Scared, weak replies: 1

Separating from lying, cheating, cross-dressing Husband - upset and confused replies: 5

My mum wants to divorce from my dad, but we don't have much options for housing? replies: 1

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

replies: 0

43 years of absolute attacks.

replies: 2

Argument with my mum

replies: 2

Surviving manipulation

replies: 1

Broken and helpless

replies: 3

Husband doesn’t like my children

replies: 4

Feeling lost

replies: 2

I'd love some help

replies: 3

Scared, weak

replies: 1

Separating from lying, cheating, cross-dressing Husband - upset and confused

replies: 5

My mum wants to divorce from my dad, but we don't have much options for housing?

replies: 1