Hi Catty98_P
I think one of the most important things to develop and maintain in life is a sense of curiosity about ourself. A genuine sense of wonder or curiosity can lead us to judge ourself less while we're on a quest to seek answers to why we're struggling. I've found it pays to have someone who'll wonder with me, as it typically takes far less time to hit on much needed revelations.
I think it's amazing how much we can adapt, without realising just how much we can be feeling in the process. For example
- We could be adapting to a whole new environment, whether that involves moving countries or moving schools or both. If the people in our life we've left behind were naturally inspiring, we can be leaving behind the kind of inspiration we can feel, the kind that energises us. We can try to adapt to a lack of inspiration. If the school we left behind (primary school) was somewhat easy and the (secondary) school we've moved to becomes largely about mentally exhausting and somewhat boring hard work, we can be losing a sense of ease and interest while trying our best to adapt.
- If we're a real feeler or sensitive (someone who can easily feel or sense), we can try our best to adapt to sensing our parents' or partner's exhaustion or agitation after their day at work. We can try ignoring it or we can try to pep them up but we can still sense the downshift within us that comes with sensing their feelings. Sensing someone else's exhaustion or agitation almost every day isn't the happiest or most positively energising experience
- While life can be filled with little challenges here and there when we're little, as challenges begin to arrive more often and they feel more intense in nature, we try to adapt. Adults can often brush this off with 'It's all just a part of growing up' or 'You're not a kid anymore'. What they may fail to realise is that while we can be trying to adapt and trying to develop through more frequent and intense challenges, they're guiding us less than they did when we were little. As a gal in my 50s, there are times where I wish someone would show up and say on occasion 'I got this, don't you worry about it. I'll make sure everything turns out fine'😁. Life was so much easier when we had our parents making sure things weren't too hard for us. I can recall my 23yo daughter saying to me a handful of years back 'I don't want to grow up, this is hard'. As we learn to adapt more on our own, we can lose a sense of much needed guidance and support in the process if we're not careful. So important to have guides at times, no matter our age
Just a few examples of what may not always obvious. With a lack of energising inspiration, a lack of ease, a lack of a regular sense of joy at home that we can really feel, a lack of guidance and more, we may come to feel all of that at some point. While we could ask 'What's wrong with me?', it's more inspiring to ask 'What am I feeling or sensing that's leading me to experience life this way?'. Speaking of what's not always obvious, with a serious lack of energy it's well worth getting some blood tests done so as to rule out things like B12 or iron deficiency and stuff along those lines.
You've been facing and feeling some enormous challenges. I'm wondering how your mum or dad would feel if you said to them 'I'm really struggling at the moment (while explaining just how much). I feel it's time for guidance of some kind because I just can't work this out on my own anymore'.
