Sad daughter

[Jems]

My 19 year old daughter is so sad and lonely. I just don’t know how to help her now. My marriage with her dad broke up last year and my daughter, my son and myself moved house. She goes to uni and works casually and she’s always been a sensitive soul but now I can’t say anything without it being a major issue. I know I’m not perfect nor do I try to be but I do know I’m a good Mum. My kids are both amazing humans so seeing her so miserable is heartbreaking. She doesn’t see friends anymore and rarely goes out without me. Even writing this is helping and I’m thinking probably some counselling to start with. It’s been an absolutely horrible year and I can see the toll it’s taken on them. BUT I’d also appreciate advice to help with her confidence. She’s asking why nobody likes her. Anything other than or as well as counselling? Thanks in advance.

[Jems]

Oh thank you so much and in fact have done all of that, making sure I tell them everyday how loved they are, my daughter has a gratitude journal etc so maybe we’re on the right track. I feel a bit more hopeful now knowing I’m doing all I can. After this weekend will look into something more for her.

[Doolhof]

Hi Jems,

Are there places you can take your daughter that you know she has enjoyed in the past? Or maybe some different places for new experiences together?

When I am not doing so well, my husband takes me to the beach, he knows that is my peaceful and comforting place.

Do you have a gratitude journal of your own Jems?

Hope you find ways to bring a greater sense of peace to your family.

Cheers from Dools

[Jems]

Yes. We try to do different things as well as walks etc. I think this is just going to take some time.

I do have my own journal which is why I recommended to my daughter. Some of it could just come down to the fact she is young and has to find her own peace. She knows I’m always here for her.

You are very lucky to have a husband who takes care of you. That’s awesome.

[Doolhof]

Hi Jems,

Just dropping by to see how you and your daughter are getting on. I remember life as a teenager was very confusing for me. My parents argued a lot, Mum used to take us and we would have to fend for ourselves as Dad had little idea how to run a house.

I remember one time a lady came in to the house to look after us. Her cooking was worse than Dad's burnt offerings! Ha. Ha. I think we survived on biscuits and bread during that period of time. Ha. Ha.

I also had a laugh about my husband taking care of me. He will occasionally take me to the beach. When he does, he drops me off and goes to the pub where I catch up with him later. He spends most of his time on the mobile phone.

At least he does drive me to the beach now and then. It is about an 80 kilometre trip each way. I occasionally get very tired and have almost fallen asleep when driving, so yes, I am very thankful when he does take me to the beach.

Cheers from Dools

[Jems]

Thanks Dools. It’s been a much better week for her and myself. Writing my post last week helped as I ‘cleared’ my head and it was nice to get some positive advice as well. I was able to start fresh after the weekend and focus on being the person she needed me to be. I can see she’s got a long way to go but she’s made some big decisions so now she has some goals. She really is amazing. Both my kids are.

And I hope you get some peace too. Thank you again for following up.

[Doolhof]

Hi Jems,

Writing things down certainly can help to clear the mind and make things clearer. It is wonderful to read your daughter is doing a little better and has been able to make some decisions and goals.

Sometimes we do need to make our own way in life. It is wonderful your children have you there to help to guide them and be there for support.

Cheers from Dools