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Relationship

roosters1984
Community Member

Hi I am Melissa 38 I have a boyfriend he is 48 his name is Cain and I love him so so much I think I am so so obsessed with him because I call and text him everyday because I have this feeling he’s going to cheat on me but I know he’s not what do I do please help 

3 Replies 3

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Roosters, can I ask you has there been any indication that he might do this, especially as you love him so much.

I do believe this is a fear most people do have when they're in a relationship, but most times it's not justified and just because they smile at another person certainly doesn't mean anything as we all do this.

Love to hear back from you.

Geoff.

Life Member.

jaz28
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Roosters,

 

I am sorry you are feeling a sense of worry about your boyfriend cheating on you. That must feel distressing. It's great that you have found someone you really like! Do you have any reason to think he will cheat? If not, it may be irrational to have these thoughts. When the thought appears, try to work through it and rationalise it in your mind - it may not be something to worry about. Another step could be to see your doctor and see what they suggest.

 

I hope things work out,

Jaz xx

Juliet_84
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Melissa,

Firstly, I’m so happy that you’ve found someone you really like, that’s such great news. But it can also be hard to feel so happy because instead of being able to enjoy the moment we can become fearful  of losing that person and so we come up with scenarios in our mind of how that can happen (i.e cheating). Unfortunately, the problem with this is that we often end up becoming jealous, checking their phone and doing things that sabotage the relationship and cause us to lose the very thing we are afraid of in the first place. So the trick is finding a way you can deal with this in a healthy way that doesn’t compromise your relationship. It might be a case of talking to your partner and letting them know that you are really happy with the relationship which causes you to fear that you will lose it and so you may need some reassurance from time to time. If your partner is a great as you say, he will no doubt make you feel secure in his feelings for you and put your mind at ease. In my experience, this is something that happens at the start of a relationship and will settle down after awhile once you feel more secure, I know it’s hard but you just have to hang in there.