Dealing with unrequited love and confused feelings

[PsychedelicFur]

Hey there, 

i confessed my feelings for my friend not so long ago. He said he didn’t want to risk being with me, intimately, because he had a fwb relationship long ago and they had a falling out. 

Anyway, he told me i was pretty, kind and he holds my hand and cuddles me. And it makes me feel like there is something there and it really confuses me. 

i keep comparing myself to the other woman, I knew he was with ages ago. What does she have that I don’t have? Logically, I know this isn’t right. AND IT JUST MAKES ME SO ANGRY!!! 

I have told him how much I care and love him. And it hurts me he doesn’t want anything more than cuddling and holding hands. And he calls me sexy legs. I don’t know what to do. 

i wish he could just be with me… what did that other woman have that i don’t have? 
it makes me compare myself. I hate having unrequited love. I hate feeling so alone and sad. 

I hate rejection. And i’m so confused. It seems like mixes messages but I’m unsure. 

[Bob_22]

Hi PsychedellicFur,

Thanks for sharing your post. Yes it seems like you've been getting mixed messages which can be very difficult. It's like being left in emotional limbo. 

I have been in your situation before and found it best to just set boundaries. If they want to remain friends, then that's fine but cuddling, holding hands and those sorts of intimate conversations about exes should be off limits. To be honest, I find it difficult to be just friends with someone I have feelings for so in the past I have just distanced myself until my romantic feelings have gone away. And then after that I might reach out to establish a friendship.

It's a lot harder than it sounds, and it hurts alot in the short run. But you will thank yourself long term and probably discover more about yourself that you learn to love. Hope that helps.

Bob

[PsychedelicFur]

I am so unhappy. I wish he would give me a chance. 

[PsychedelicFur]

How come he wanted to be fwb with the other woman, while she was with her already with another man? What’s wrong with me? 

i feel like I’m not good enough. 

[PsychedelicFur]

I just wanted him to give me a chance. Just to see where things could go. I hate unrequited love and rejection. It makes me so unhappy and stressed. 

he gives me mixed messages but doesn’t want commitment. I wish he could just see that I genuinely care about him. I have liked him for years and years. I don’t want to sleep with him. I just want to date him and see how we go together. But, he won’t even do that. What’s wrong with me??? 😥😥

[quirkywords]

Pyscedelic fur

this is so sad and frustrating.. The words no one wants to hear , I like  you  but letms be friends.

This is his problem not yours.

Mixed messages makes one get confused. 
take care.m

[PsychedelicFur]

I don’t understand how he was fwb with that woman but he doesn’t just want to take it slowly and go on dates with me, without any sexual connotation.. just slowly getting to know each other, casually dating without getting into bed and seeing how we would go. I feel like I am not enough. I feel I’m not pretty, worthy, I feel like I’m not strong or intelligent enough.

i hate it. I hate it. It makes me feel so insignificant. 

[PsychedelicFur]

I’m so sad. The anxiety monster in my head is telling me how unworthy I am. It’s really hard for me to challenge these thoughts. I feel so exhausted, both mentally and physically. I wish people WOULD give me some chance. 

[quirkywords]

Psychedelic fur

I am sorry you feel like you do but he has the insecurities and not you. 
I know from your posts that you are. CLever , pretty and strong and deserve to be treated well. 
Things can change and Inhope they will for you. 

[PsychedelicFur]

He told me that fwb is fun but he doesn’t want to lose a friendship, again. 

but, I didn’t want fwb. I wanted dating or commitment. He must have commitment issues, from my observations.. that must be the case. 

thank you all for your kind comments.