Dealing with unrequited love and confused feelings

[PsychedelicFur]

Hey there, 

i confessed my feelings for my friend not so long ago. He said he didn’t want to risk being with me, intimately, because he had a fwb relationship long ago and they had a falling out. 

Anyway, he told me i was pretty, kind and he holds my hand and cuddles me. And it makes me feel like there is something there and it really confuses me. 

i keep comparing myself to the other woman, I knew he was with ages ago. What does she have that I don’t have? Logically, I know this isn’t right. AND IT JUST MAKES ME SO ANGRY!!! 

I have told him how much I care and love him. And it hurts me he doesn’t want anything more than cuddling and holding hands. And he calls me sexy legs. I don’t know what to do. 

i wish he could just be with me… what did that other woman have that i don’t have? 
it makes me compare myself. I hate having unrequited love. I hate feeling so alone and sad. 

I hate rejection. And i’m so confused. It seems like mixes messages but I’m unsure. 

[PsychedelicFur]

He cuddles and holds my hand. We sat on his sofa cuddling together for an hour or so.. and holding hands. He said ‘no’ to kissing but he told me he wanted to kiss me. He said he didn’t want it to led to anything else but he calls me sexy legs, he tells me I’m very pretty, kind and loving. 

i am so confused. 

[Bob_22]

Hi PsychedelicFur,

It sounds like this has really affected your self esteem and confidence. This is completely understandable and has happened to me in the past. Unfortunately however, romantic relationships are rarely able to fill the gap that we may feel is missing in our life. This is very hard to accept. I would recommend perhaps cutting off communication with your friend for the moment and work on yourself. If your comfortable, even seeking professional counselling is a great idea as they can help guide you on this journey. Hope this helps a bit.

Bob

[PsychedelicFur]

I am still very emotional from it all. I told him I needed some space and I haven’t spoken to him for four days now. And I plan on talking to my psychologist about it today. 

[Bob_22]

Hi Psychedelic Fur,

Thanks so much for the update. That's great news. It sounds like you have made some really positive steps. I'm sure it will be very difficult at first. Even the first few sessions with a psychologist can be full on but the fruits will show in time. 💙

Bob