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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Alison30 I’m being harrassed by my sister on Facebook
  • replies: 5

Hello my name is Alison, I am going through depression and anxiety at the moment because I am being harrassed by my sister on Facebook. I recently had a falling out with her a few days ago due to personal issues and I blocked her. But then last night... View more

Hello my name is Alison, I am going through depression and anxiety at the moment because I am being harrassed by my sister on Facebook. I recently had a falling out with her a few days ago due to personal issues and I blocked her. But then last night she kept contacting me on Facebook trying to prove to me that our Auntie said bad stuff about me behind my back calling me dumb, manipulative and controlling by sending me screenshots of the conversations she had with our Auntie. My sister threatened to keep making Facebook after Facebook accounts until I read the evidence she provided and if I refused to read them she was going print them all out and post it to me then if I still refused to read them she was going to show up to my house and watch me read them all. I tried contacting the police but they told me that because she hasn’t done anything criminal their isn’t anything they can do and told me I could put in for an avo if I wanted to but because she didn’t do anything criminal it may not go through. I’ve also tried reporting her messages to Facebook but they haven’t said anything, I have also contacted 1800 RESPECT which I did they just told me to talk to my NDIS coordinator about getting mental health care plan put through ASAP and they recommended I report it on the esafety website and call the police which I did. She’s making up accusations about me that I lied to our family about everything and that they think I am trying to get her out of the picture and that I want the family all to myself because I didn’t have them all my life. I feel like my sister is trying to tear our family apart and I don’t know what to do about it. What’s messed up is that most of the things my sister is accusing our Auntie of saying about me behind my back she’s called me those things too so she’s no better than my Auntie if she really said those things. In the past my Auntie denied saying anything my sister accused her of about me but yet their seems to be screenshots of her saying these things to my sister during conversations they had.

CloeA Newly dating issues me/him
  • replies: 8

Hello, thank you for letting me join the forums: I’m after some advice and hope this will be the best place to get it, I’m newly dating the most beautiful guy, he’s wonderful, on our second date he disclosed that he has been diagnosed with depression... View more

Hello, thank you for letting me join the forums: I’m after some advice and hope this will be the best place to get it, I’m newly dating the most beautiful guy, he’s wonderful, on our second date he disclosed that he has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and is on medication and still working through this, this did not change my opinion of him at all, in fact I was very supportive and happy that he had sought help and was willing to open up to me about this, we had a long talk about how we won’t judge eachother and we appreciate honesty etc. We get on really well and we both said it feels very natural when we are together. I have Anxiety around relationships due to past abusive experience and I had a bit of an anxiety attack a few weeks ago and he was absolutely amazing, I am really lucky to have met him. Anyway my question is, we had plans this weekend, he didn’t turn up on Saturday or let me know he wasn’t coming and I was freaking out something bad had happened to him, he’s never done this before, I just rang once and asked what time he was coming but when I didn’t hear I just left it, he messaged me on Monday saying he had a really bad weekend and he had shut down. I am trying to be so understanding and said I understand but if he could just let me know so that I don’t worry that would help, I said it in a lovely understanding way and told him I’m here if he needs me. I haven’t heard since, I’m giving him space but it’s really hard as when I am upset I want people around but when he is having a hard time he pushes people away, I just don’t want him to think I don’t care or am not thinking of him but I also don’t want to bombard him and I want him to have space if needed to deal with this, is there anything I can/should be doing, this isn’t helping me own anxiety either as I had an ex who lied about doing stuff which I’m sure this guy isn’t doing but it’s bringing back bad memories which I’m trying to suppress. I really appreciate any advice, thank you for helping x

Alyca Has anyone had some experience on child stealing big money from you?
  • replies: 10

Yeah, well, the title is pretty much the gist. I have a 15-year-old live with me, not my child, and I didn't adopt him. The reason he is here is that I live with his dad. We had a really good and stable relationship until this 'stepson' came into our... View more

Yeah, well, the title is pretty much the gist. I have a 15-year-old live with me, not my child, and I didn't adopt him. The reason he is here is that I live with his dad. We had a really good and stable relationship until this 'stepson' came into our life. I think it's partially because what we had were good enough for him to think it's even better if we can get his son a feeling of 'home'. As troubled and rebellious as he always was, we never expected him to steal. I'm not talking about small cash here, I'm talking about thousands of dollars. He bought himself an iPhone 12 Max 512G, pretty much the most expensive phone you can get on the market, together with some accessories with our money, costs more than $3,000. I wouldn't have that luxury myself. I called the school because I can't figure out where that money comes from, he claimed he 'borrowed' the phone from other kids, which is obviously a lie. He then admitted he walked into our bedroom and stole the money inside our bedside table, with the pressure of us and his teachers. And he also admitted it was not the first time he steals, mostly one ticket or two while we were out, shopping or something, without us knowing because we don't count our cash every day. And this time, I guess he just grew bolder. I can't help but want to call the police to get them involved with this. His dad can't let me do that because that will backfire at him. Okay, this is driving my crazy, I just can't have a thief living with me, but I love his dad and he loves me, I don't want us to get separated because of this. By the way, his dad is also really really pissed, but he didn't know what to do either. I know kids sometimes steal, but mostly just small changes, is this even borderline crime? He is 15 after all, can't he take at least a little bit of responsibility?

JH27 Forgotten Feelings
  • replies: 1

My girlfriend suffers from a mental condition called dissociation which creates alters in the brain to safeguard traumatic memories, and after her recent counseling session, her feelings of love towards me seem to have been forgotten. This has caused... View more

My girlfriend suffers from a mental condition called dissociation which creates alters in the brain to safeguard traumatic memories, and after her recent counseling session, her feelings of love towards me seem to have been forgotten. This has caused me immense pain in my heart and I don't know what to do. Will my girlfriend regain her feelings, or is there something I have to do? Can anyone help me? I'm in so much pain, but I love her so much

newworlds Advice on what to do
  • replies: 9

I'm in the process of breaking up with someone. He wants to leave because I have "trust issues", yet he is also leaving his job and the place we live in together! I admit, I'm not the most trusting person. I'm also not controlling or manipulative. Bu... View more

I'm in the process of breaking up with someone. He wants to leave because I have "trust issues", yet he is also leaving his job and the place we live in together! I admit, I'm not the most trusting person. I'm also not controlling or manipulative. But if I ask him a simple question like "who is that you're chatting to" he just goes off! Like swearing and yelling! Nobody knows about our relationship (been two years), and his facebook says "single", and none of his family or friends know about me. He stores me in his phone book with my initials, yet every other person has their full name. Sexually everything was fine, until fairly recently. His family are all overseas. At first it was him saying "I'm sick of my job, sick of the travel to get the job". Then he turned on me! The smallest forms of communication seem to result in him blaming him wanting to move out on me not trusting. And to be honest I do have trust issues, but with him, something doesn't add up. So as it is today, he's still yelling at times, other times we can talk, but anything about him leaving (which he's made it pretty clear he is), and it's war again! He just insults, says cold things, cuts me off, hangs up on me. Then later in the day he just talks normally again. He's applying for jobs in another town and is committed to the fact our relationship can't be fixed. I just feel I'm nothing but an object. He doesn't even appear to be uspet by this, despite having a close and loving relationship. My mind is running at 100% with all of these things. I'm crying at work every day in places where nobody can see. I just feel completely lost and very hurt. I acknowledge that I have things to fix, and this trust things is definitely a result from a traumatic upbringing where I learnt not to trust to survive. He (I'm a gay man), told me that he still loves me, but "love isn't enough". I tried to understand what this could possibly mean, but then he said "trust". It needed trust too. Now he will not give the relationship any further opportunity and any attempt to discuss... well arguments.

sleepyfox I think I'll be alone forever
  • replies: 2

Hi folks! First time posting here, looking for some people who have maybe been through a similar situation as me and could offer some advice. I'm in my early to mid 20s and have never been in a relationship. I have only ever kissed one guy who I met ... View more

Hi folks! First time posting here, looking for some people who have maybe been through a similar situation as me and could offer some advice. I'm in my early to mid 20s and have never been in a relationship. I have only ever kissed one guy who I met at a festival and have never seen since. I'm terrified that im going to be alone my whole life because I dont know how to let my guard down and actually be vulnerable enough to be with someone. I worry that because I didnt experience dating/love as a teen that if I get into a relationship now with an older guy he won't understand and will think that im juvenile because I've never dated anyone before and never had sex. Theres a guy I like who is a few years older than me and I cant tell if he likes me back. I've known him for years through work so I dont know how to make the transition of friend to more than friends, and feel really awkward about embarrassing myself if he doesn't like me back. There's another guy I work with who I think is interested in me but I cant stop thinking about the first guy. I've never been the type to get hung up on someone before but I cant stop thinking about him. I'm just afraid that im broken and will never be able to find love. Anyone have any advice? I know the usual 'everyone goes at their own pace deal, just wondering if anyone else was in the same situation as me and managed to have a relationship

Elle2721 Overwhelmed working Mum of 2.
  • replies: 2

Hi all, feeling low, down and can't sleep. Cry from all the feelings of being overwhelmed. My girl started kindy and is struggling, my baby boy keeps me awake at night, and I just started full time work and wondering why I did this to myself. Working... View more

Hi all, feeling low, down and can't sleep. Cry from all the feelings of being overwhelmed. My girl started kindy and is struggling, my baby boy keeps me awake at night, and I just started full time work and wondering why I did this to myself. Working full time and not being there for my kids and my mental health is getting scary.

Danny123 Depressed Partner
  • replies: 1

Hi all,I just am so worried about my partner (she asked for time and space so I guess you can say we are taking a break). I love her so much and am doing everything I can to help (to the best of my ability anyway). She said she is so consumed with ho... View more

Hi all,I just am so worried about my partner (she asked for time and space so I guess you can say we are taking a break). I love her so much and am doing everything I can to help (to the best of my ability anyway). She said she is so consumed with hopelessness and emptiness. We have 2 kids and considering her circumstances, is doing a great job with them ( I share the load and stay home every second weekend and a couple of nights a week, while she has her time away from home), we don’t live together at the moment. I guess I am so scared of losing her, she is seeing a psych and he changed her meds 3 weeks ago. We have been together 14 years, and I am finding that she will message me out of the blue saying I want you to know I really miss you, and when I see her she asks for a hug and would give me a kiss, she would sometimes grab my hand and kiss it...what do I need to do? I can’t loose her, I don’t want to loose her, she says right now she is so messed up, she doesn’t know what she wants or is even thinking, I worry so much that she is including us in that thought? It first happened about 8 weeks ago that she said we need time out from each other, first she said she needs to find herself again and what she loves, she said the last 1.5 years in our relationship has been hard, which I know we put up walls and COVID didn’t help, home schooling, me being home 24/7 (had to work from home), she lost her dad 2 weeks before lockdown... its only been the last 4 weeks however, that she has said she is depressed... I give her her space, and I find it so hard not to message her to tell her I love her and I am here, but I don’t want to push her away... she says she wants her family back, but then I loose hope when she says “ I don’t want to see anyone, I don’t even want to speak to people (other than her psych) she said “ I can’t believe I am even talking to you right now.... is this normal?? What do I need to do to make sure we get through this, and I say US because I will NOT allow her to push me away and I am with her the whole way (although she says I deserve so much better), to me she is perfect... Does she really miss me even though she rarely says it... I told her I loved her the other night and I said, I don’t expect you to say it back right now, but she did, she said I do love you too... but today, just seems she has gone backwards a little. Any advice will help - thank you all for reading

kay_la Help Me, Help My Mum.
  • replies: 1

Im in desperate need of help. Im a 20 year old who studies at uni part-time and works full-time, my mother lives 3 hours away so i barely have time to visit her. she is currently looking after her 10 year old daughter but is struggling as she has jus... View more

Im in desperate need of help. Im a 20 year old who studies at uni part-time and works full-time, my mother lives 3 hours away so i barely have time to visit her. she is currently looking after her 10 year old daughter but is struggling as she has just gotten out of a serious relationship. She has struggled for many years and has relied on men for her happiness. She was working a stable job and was healthy for a while after they broke up but not she is drinking LARGE amounts of alcohol, to the point that all she does is drink and sleep, she has lost a lot of weight because of it. I have tried to convince her to get help however, she has always denied that she needs help. She has been admitted to mental health wards multiple times in the past yet she manages to find her way out with lies. I'm really worried about her because it has come to the point where my 10 year old sister has run away to her dads at 10pm on a school night because of how she acts when she is drunk. She has crashed the car many times and has been drink driving her whole life, i really want to get her help before its too late but anything I say or do wont convince her.

Melly997 How to deal with being abandoned
  • replies: 47

My husband moved out 4 months ago but it t was only supposed to be for a few days to clear his head. He said he felt the world closing in on him. He said he was getting angry quickly & then felt guilty about his reaction. For 2 weeks he stayed in tou... View more

My husband moved out 4 months ago but it t was only supposed to be for a few days to clear his head. He said he felt the world closing in on him. He said he was getting angry quickly & then felt guilty about his reaction. For 2 weeks he stayed in touch & said we'd be fine but over the next 4 weeks his contact stopped. No calls, no visits, no messages, nothing. I tried to see him before he caught the bus but when I did he was always moody. Then I got a text saying he was giving up (which meant our marriage) because he was better on his own. Just like that. No effort, no discussion, nothing. It ripped my heart out. I sent him emails & texts begging to come home, to talk, telling him I'd support him through whatever he was going through - nothing. After 10 weeks I asked him what did he want me to do with his things. He said to put them in one place & he'd get them. He also said he appreciated the words & sentiments but kept contact sparse until he felt comfortable being himself. Last week he came & got all his things, said he wasn't coming back, was happier & better on his own & it was too late to fix our marriage because he felt nothing. I have suspected all along that he might be suffering depression but never did I think this would happen. Never. During the first 2 weeks I bought tickets to a concert he wanted to see. I made sure he still got one (which turned out to be the day before he got his things) & was encouraged because it only took him 30 mins to pick it up after my text. I hoped he would go. However last night he didn't show & it hit me like a ton of bricks. He doesn't want anything to do with me. This man I love has basically abandoned me & I am at a loss as to why his feelings went from love to nothing in only 4 months. I sent a message to one of his work mates yesterday asking him to keep an eye on him & if he agreed with me about depression to point him the direction of getting help. I also want to help him but he's physically & emotionally unavailable to me. I want to know why does someone push their loved ones away, shut them out so completely & end all contact? Do they ever return? How do I deal with the pain without blaming him when it might be depression & outside his control? Do I keep trying to make contact or leave him alone? Am I just trying to justify the end of my marriage by 'diagnosing' it as depression because I have nothing else to go on? I need answers because I am at a loss & feel helpless.