Relationship ocd?

[Vi135408]

Been in a great relationship for 1 year and 7 months. One day 6 months ago my boyfriend texted me and said he didn’t know how he felt anymore or what he could do. Prior to this for about 2 months we were distant, we barely saw eachother. I found myself canceling on him a lot as I had a lot of family issues, I just wasn’t in the right mindset. On the day he told me how he felt, a part of me genuinely felt as if I was loosing him. I was in a serious panic which lasted about a month. All I would do was constantly question if he loved me, why he chose to stay and if he truly wanted to. I’d also cry about it to my friends and ask for reassurance regularly.After spending time with him on weekends this stopped. There was 1 week of clarity. Then I met up with him again, I noticed I was a bit distant and so did he. He asked me what was wrong and I said I didn’t know because I didn’t and that’s when it all started. I started questioning why I wasn’t “into it” if I was bored, out of love ect. I started to google things such as:signs of boredom, what is true love, am I still in love, why do I feel distant and the list goes on. Some articles gave me temporary relief whilst others just made me feel guilty or stressed out. I’d feel anxious when hanging around him, the thoughts were racing through my head. I’d often (stupidly) say it out loud, “what if I don’t want this? What if I’m not in love?” This took a toll on him some days he felt like he didn’t want to see me bc of it. This has now ended. The thoughts r less debilitating and arent specific anymore. I just have a merky unclear crappy feeling which I don’t know how to get rid off. It is like the thoughts of all the thoughts upset me. Sometimes I find myself researching if our relationship can last as we are young and it gets to me because I know it can be considered unrealistic. I fear one day I won’t want it, I’ll want to be alone or that we’ll become totally different. I hate it bc he is mybest friend, we have so much fun together and it feels like we are one person. There is no reason to doubt it but I still do. I guess that deep down I do this to protect myself as I don’t want it to end. Pls leave some advice of how to get rid of the feeling or ur experiences. I am also wondering if this could possibly be rocd or just anxiety as I’ve read peoples stories and a lot do not resonate with my current state of mindset. Thank you

[geoff]

Hi Vi, just wondering how you are going at the moment.

Geoff.

[Vi135408]

Hi Geoff,

Ive been struggling with this particular anxiety for months however, it is no where near as debilitating as it was when i first started to have obsessive thoughts about my relationship (around 6 months ago)

I am confused as to why i have them. there is no reason to be so doubtful and stressed however, the unclear feeling/ thoughts still control me. It feels as though i have created a world in my head that does not reflect reality (if that makes sense)

i used to have specific thoughts and questions running through my head, now, like i said it is more of an unclear feeling regarding how healthy my relationship is, if i want it, what the future will be like ect. its very draining!

If everything is how it should be, why do people still continue to have obsessive thoughts and what causes it?

Thank you very much.

[SJ17]

Wow..this is me. I have been struggling with this for 4 months...better than it was but still ongoing and horrible . I too have been seeking help and doing meditation. Just wishing it would go away! I feel just like you...i am believing these thoughts and trying to avoid turning them into reality. But how do you know if they are truthful? I have no clear cause either. Never have had anxiety before...well nothing out of the ordinary like this.

How are you going? Would love to hear how its working out for you. Its certainly hard to have these thoughts (and feelings). I worry all the time that im being ridicolous and sabotaging myself and my happiness. I hope you have found peace ❤❤