Putting my domineering mother into care
Hi Julz. I read your recent posts and felt moved to respond. Wow, you've got a lot on your plate. My heart goes out to you.
With regards to your mum in high care ... please try to remember that you really had no choice. You are doing what's best for your mum in-line with professional caring and medical advice. I don't know that there's anything else you or anyone else could do.
It's a lot of responsibility being a guardian for a loved one and I think you're doing right by your mum. You've made your decisions, now try not to look back. Perhaps you could remind whoever is pressuring you about your mother's living arrangements of the serious and very real consequences your mum could face should she actually escape. You could also consider asking these people to help you. If they feel some ownership of the decisions being made they might be less critical.
You might also want to speak with the nursing home management about arranging your mum's eating/table arrangements to ensure she has other residents on "her level" to talk to at meal time. The staff could also ensure that your mum gets the opportunity to attend any activities/events at the home that are of interest to her, as these activities are already supervised. If you can get these arrangements in place, it could turn out to be a happy compromise that protects your mum's health and safety and ensures she gets the stimulation she needs.
I wish you the best of luck with your mental health plan and lifestyle changes. Once you get mum sorted I really hope that it's easier for you to deal with the rest.
I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Thanks Demonblaster & summer rose for your supportive advice. The nursing home rang me last night because my mother wanted to talk to me - well my mother gave me a mouthful. The nurse apologised and we agreed not to allow her to ring me. I will visit her at my own pace.
after a few months break I have bitten the bullet & booked in to see my psychologist Thursday. Hopefully that will help me to find my way again.
Julz, this would be ripping so sorry for your pain.
Congrats on psych consult they're a great source of release and can help with coping strategies, all the best
just checking in. I spiralled so far down that I have just come home from a couple of weeks stay in hospital. I don't feel great but much better than 2 weeks ago. I am hoping to do a day program through the hospital that runs one day a week for 12 weeks. My doctor wrote a letter to my employer but I have to wait & see if they approve me to work part time for 3 months.
On another note My mum seems a bit more accepting of her new surroundings and it's best if I see her in the morning when she's at her best.
thanks again everyone
Welcome back. I am sorry that you have been so unwell. Bless you. Even after all that you have been through, you are still thinking about mum. You are amazing.
Take good care of yourself. The day program sounds great. Fingers crossed you get in and that you get support from your employer.
Take each day as it comes. Easy does it. One foot in front of the other, at your pace. Post when you need to. We are all still here.
You are in my thoughts and prayers x
Julz hi ☺ and all
Thanks for updating sorry you've been doing it hard but happy to hear you're better than previous weeks. Hard times aye hun
Thats great news your Mums starting to settle a bit, takes time and new routines can be unsettling. Hoping her settling is easing your mind a bit.
No hurry for reply wondering about the day programme?
I too hope work give you the part time work for the 3 mths.
All the best darl take care of yourself and hope you continue on the up.