Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Liz10 Pushed away by my BF feeling low and lonely
  • replies: 4

I'm hoping someone can give me some advice, I was seeing a guy for 4 months but known him about 6, everything was amazing I've never felt so in love, he is such a kind soul and so crazy about me and I him. We would see each other almost every night h... View more

I'm hoping someone can give me some advice, I was seeing a guy for 4 months but known him about 6, everything was amazing I've never felt so in love, he is such a kind soul and so crazy about me and I him. We would see each other almost every night he only lived down the road then all of a sudden a close family member died and he had to fly home for a week, when he got back he was distant and I felt like I was being pushed away. Two weeks later I had a couple of emotional breakdowns to him as I guess I was trying to get his attention and then he told me he didn't want to be with me anymore, that he was depressed, needed space, hated his job, needed to move out of his apartment but joked that we would probably be married by next year I'm guessing trying to comfort me. Gave him space for 2 weeks and he came back told me he missed me everyday and didn't want to lose me from his life I was everything and that he didn't want to spend time around his friends as they just wanted to party, I told him I felt the same that I was found myself non stop thinking about him in that break and never wanted to lose him again, a couple of days later I had a bad couple of days at work and Tried to turn to him for support but then he went distant and without telling me he deleted me off all social media and told me he couldn't do this and to take care and hoped I found someone. I was devastated, it's been two weeks since we last spoke and I find myself feeling depressed and missing him, he doesn't have any family here like me and told me he only told me and his family back home about the depression not his mates. I'm so lost, do I reach out to him? I miss him so much and none of this feels right! I worry that he's not doing okay as his mates don't know what he's going through. Please help I have bad anxiety, barely sleeping and unsure what to do, I know he loves me so I can't understand why he is doing this, when I get depressed I get through with the one I love around me and could never push them away!

Sleepless1987 Dreading Family Holiday
  • replies: 11

We're all getting together for Easter, 15 of us, 6 kids. I was looking forward to it. Now I'm dreading it. One of my sisters and I fight all the time and it's always apparently my fault. I don't want to cause any problems, I don't want this holiday t... View more

We're all getting together for Easter, 15 of us, 6 kids. I was looking forward to it. Now I'm dreading it. One of my sisters and I fight all the time and it's always apparently my fault. I don't want to cause any problems, I don't want this holiday to be all about past issues, but I don't know how to stop it. I want to spend time with them but I don't want to. I'm close to a major break already and I don't want to fall over the edge.

Ocelot1771 Husband cheating?
  • replies: 4

I haven't any direct evidence, but I have an uncomfortable 'vibe' about my husband lately. He has a bathroom cupboard full of hair dye for grey hair (he's 53 and starting to grey a bit), teeth whiteners, breath fresheners, and Aldara cream (one of th... View more

I haven't any direct evidence, but I have an uncomfortable 'vibe' about my husband lately. He has a bathroom cupboard full of hair dye for grey hair (he's 53 and starting to grey a bit), teeth whiteners, breath fresheners, and Aldara cream (one of the uses for this is for genital warts). And he disappears after we've had a fight. Is he cheating on me?

flossie62 Feeling hurt
  • replies: 13

I have been away from this site for awhile, but tonight I feel like I have to write down what has just happened as I feel so sad. I have been feeling so good recently. Even after having a fall 2 weeks ago, and still carrying the scars and bruises, I ... View more

I have been away from this site for awhile, but tonight I feel like I have to write down what has just happened as I feel so sad. I have been feeling so good recently. Even after having a fall 2 weeks ago, and still carrying the scars and bruises, I have managed to cope quite well and kept myself busy and happy. But tonight, out of the blue, my husband's friend of over 60 years told him via text message not to call again and to 'have a nice life'. My husband and I cannot think of any reason for this message and it has hurt both of us so much. We don't know what to do. I feel very teary and sad, and I can't focus on anything else and we keep asking ourselves why did this happen. I ask myself why do we even bother to have friends. There doesn't seem to be any point, when they make you feel so bad when that friendship is taken away suddenly.

Heart13 Suffering in a relationship with a narsissits man
  • replies: 6

Im trying to break away and I'm finding it so hard. I have never reached out to people before as I have never been in such a position. Its destroying my life.

Im trying to break away and I'm finding it so hard. I have never reached out to people before as I have never been in such a position. Its destroying my life.

cleo1988 i feel like nothing
  • replies: 17

hello there everyone, i just need some warmth and some advice. I have used this before and found it incredibly helpful during a difficult time - relating to this relationship long story short, i feel trapped within a relationship (1 year long) . I ha... View more

hello there everyone, i just need some warmth and some advice. I have used this before and found it incredibly helpful during a difficult time - relating to this relationship long story short, i feel trapped within a relationship (1 year long) . I have ended this relationship many times, and he never leaves me be - i have told him but he keeps saying he wants to marry me, be there for me, be together etc… But he is controlling, isolating, 13 years older than I. Why don't I want to be with him? He is quite rough, his friends are all 10 years older than him and hence 25 years + older than me. Anyway, I don't need to go through all the reasons But the main reason is. the life i would have with him is not the life I want. I wish i could be more assertive. But inherently, I want to love someone, and show them affection and give everything to them. I am lonely, I am very vulnerable and lonely in my position, i live in a state where i literally know 4 people. Work is isolating I have really struggled to settle in here, and have since day 1. I have been here for 1.5 years. I saw him last night and this morning, it is never enough for him. He wants to be around me and stay with me 24/7. He cries because of god knows what… and its left to me to make him feel better. Another issue - i feel like there is always a problem with him. I am a very positive, optimistic and happy person and he isn't - which i find difficult I need help. x

Tunafish1 Alone probably forever
  • replies: 10

I don't know what to do. I'm 30 year old female and I got dumped 6months ago (in a traumatic way) and I'm really really struggling to move on. I'm having massive panic attacks I feel like no one will ever want me again and I will be alone forever. I ... View more

I don't know what to do. I'm 30 year old female and I got dumped 6months ago (in a traumatic way) and I'm really really struggling to move on. I'm having massive panic attacks I feel like no one will ever want me again and I will be alone forever. I can't help crying every day since and waking up is torture I feel so empty and alone but I have great family and friends the only thing I don't have is him. Lately I have been thinking maybe if I died the suffering would stop (I don't want to kill myself but living isn't joyful anymore). Other people can move on easy because they are attractive and or have good personality. I'm below average looking and very shy so it is so hard for me to meet someone with whom I can connect and worry I've had my few chances and that's it for me now I've missed the boat. My ex bf said to me I will be miserable and alone forever because of the way I act, I'm so worried he is right. I'm suffering so much I feel like my mind has cancer and is being eaten away, I try so many positive activities but it never seems to last and then I read blogs of ppl who are 70 and miserable and alone and I can't be like that I just can't and then I think of him who could get any girl he wants just based on his looks alone and it makes me so miserable to know he will replace me so easily.

diverboybrent On the verge of separation, about me and how I'm going with it.
  • replies: 2

My life partner of 10 years and I are heading down a disaster road and I'm trying to see how I can repair the damage. I mostly feel like we haven't been in a married relationship but rather a rut of being together for the sake of it. I have noticed o... View more

My life partner of 10 years and I are heading down a disaster road and I'm trying to see how I can repair the damage. I mostly feel like we haven't been in a married relationship but rather a rut of being together for the sake of it. I have noticed over sometime My wife has become more distant which made me more insecure about our relationship and in turn made me question her and it a lot. I feel like my wife is not always being honest with me (even though she is) because of the growing silence and if I ask questions to try break the silence My wife feels I'm trying to run her life So I'm left feeling left out. I have an anger problem and managed to control it over the years it's like a safety net I use instead of feeling hurt, weak or when life starts becoming out of control. I am insecure in our relationship I know that. It's because of the turn it's taken over the few years and feel I worthless because I can't make either of us happy with each other. I feel lonely and unappreciated because of the sacrifices I make to better our lives. I work FIFO and it's not an easy life to have. At the moment I am feel like my world is turning upside down I feel out of control with how things are going and hurting so much I really don't feel I can reach the end of this tunnel that's came rolling onto me. I can't see myself recovering from loosing my family, my life, and everything I worked so hard for. I feel guilt that I could not make my wife as happy or be the husband she deserves and anger towards myself for allowing my insecurities get in the way of our happiness. I have very high morals for what I believe should be part of a relationship. 100% honest and open with each other, respect each other's feelings and fully respect each other, love each other unconditionally and accept little floors each other might have. I also believe in boundaries where either one should accept when in a relationship. My personal boundaries are any of the opposite of mentioned above and my goal is to provide protection from an evil world by providing safety and security of my family, help them make decisions that affect us as a hole. I also don't believe married couples do things or act as single individuals do. I see marriage as a joint commitment where two individuals become one With all this said I feel I have failed as a husband and a father and feel maybe they would better off without a failure like me. And have a chance at a life they deserve.

myparis Angry and still trying to be respectful of his need for space in the separation
  • replies: 3

So, this is my first post here. It has been only 5 days since my Husband of 20+ years left the Family home to "find some time for himself and work out what he wants." He doesn't want to stay to try and work it out, doesn't want to seek counselling ei... View more

So, this is my first post here. It has been only 5 days since my Husband of 20+ years left the Family home to "find some time for himself and work out what he wants." He doesn't want to stay to try and work it out, doesn't want to seek counselling either on his own or as a couple of even with our Son to nurture his relationship with him. Couldn't have chosen a worse time as we were meant to have a lovely couple of weeks together for Christmas as a Family. I love him with all my heart but he has told me he Loves me in some way but can't live with me. I've dug deep, kept an eye on my depression diagnosed years ago, already organised Centrelink, seen the GP twice, touched base with Friends, had a spiritual healing yesterday, the whole gammit of what is suggested in this horrible time. He spent the afternoon in the Family home this afternoon helping to prepare food, bring presents from my Mother in Law. We took our lovely dogs to the beach to talk and work out the $$$ surprise we always give our Son Christmas day (he's 16 so money is always the welcome gift). He told me he already has been invited by a single male Friend to go out for NYE. I have no expectations that there will be reconciliation and am trying to picture a future without him but am heart broken. Would love to hear advice or touch base with others who have come out the other end of a horrible relationship separation. It's mostly amicable which is making it harder

Qwerty2017 Feeling lost but in love
  • replies: 4

My partner and I have been together for 5 years and we are getting married in late 2018 I have struggled with depression the whole time we have been together and she is very accepting of this. Always trying to help out but lately I find myself tellin... View more

My partner and I have been together for 5 years and we are getting married in late 2018 I have struggled with depression the whole time we have been together and she is very accepting of this. Always trying to help out but lately I find myself telling her the bare minimum or not telling her how Im feeling at all. 7 months ago I lost my great nan, although we werent extremely close its the first loss that I have been through and it was very significant to me. I went through a stage of pure emptiness, I stopped caring, it was like I was a robot just doing what I needed to do to get by and I feel this began to take a huge toll on our relationship. We lack an intimate relationship, we have been intimate once this year. I dont have a want or need for intimacy for about a year and a half now. Im still in love, Im just struggling to work on myself and dont know what to do.