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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Scoot040 Not coping with part time employment
  • replies: 2

Hi at the moment i have been unemployed for over 12 months but managed to get some part time work as a security guard but it's only 3 nights a week for 5hrs each night . Originally i was employed by local council for 27 yrs until i had carpal tunnel ... View more

Hi at the moment i have been unemployed for over 12 months but managed to get some part time work as a security guard but it's only 3 nights a week for 5hrs each night . Originally i was employed by local council for 27 yrs until i had carpal tunnel syndrome and had 3 operations to correct it but the council decided to place me on a injury management program to find a place within council to suit my condition for 3 mths until they find a full time position or they would let me go after the 3mths. I have tried applying elsewhere with no luck, i have done courses to further my career in security but nothing has come up and now waiting for weapons licensing to issue license so i can gain employment in cash in transit field but taking forever and missing out on work . Not sure how much more i can deal with people not responding to job applications even to say you didn't get the job would be great. Any advice would be great i do have a hobby but now have to stop that because i can't afford to do it any more

Tboy Trying to find a partner
  • replies: 3

Hey I'm going through a rough old time right now. I'm 41, single and really want to settle down, it's just so damned hard. I know I have it all together in other areas of my life, my career, family, friends etc, but dating.....boy, very tough. I turn... View more

Hey I'm going through a rough old time right now. I'm 41, single and really want to settle down, it's just so damned hard. I know I have it all together in other areas of my life, my career, family, friends etc, but dating.....boy, very tough. I turn to the dating coach/pickup community for help but sometimes I just feel freakin worse and they haven't helped but hindered. The dating apps are just useless, I also paid $20 to use RSVP and the girl I was talking to disappeared...wtf?.... I had a brief affair last year with a girl who'd just come out of a bad marriage, I was hoping that we would get together in the end, but no, she thinks we're incompatible.... so that hurt a bit The other thing is that it's affecting my sleep patterns and I'm waking in the middle of the night every night in a terrified state that I'll never find anyone, it really is unpleasant, I have no idea why that is happening. I'm doing everything I can to help myself, positive self-talk mantras, going to counselling next week, meditation, exercise ......I just get so upset sometimes. On a lighter note , I posted on here in 2013 on the same topic and found myself in a relationship in 2014...so there is hope for me... Just needed to share

lolita12 Long relationship and (recent) issues
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, I was referred to this forum by a counsellor at university. I am currently in a long term relationship with my partner who I have been with for a very long time. We both love and respect each other. Short summary: I have been with my par... View more

Hi everyone, I was referred to this forum by a counsellor at university. I am currently in a long term relationship with my partner who I have been with for a very long time. We both love and respect each other. Short summary: I have been with my partner since high school (so a very long time) and recently feel like we have been having a lot of dramas. I am also in exam period at the moment so the added stress is definitely not a good thing because it distracts me. We have both had friends (girls and boys) throughout the years, but he has recently gone back to uni to study a science degree and made a female friend which I initially had no problem with. Over the course of friendship, I feel like he has substituted the attention he would usually provide me for other things (possibly including her). They talk everyday and not only that, but almost all the time everyday. She has disclosed some personal things to him as well which is when I felt the "budding" friendship was a bit too much. I have male friends as well but I know where the boundaries are. Basically they became friends whilst she was going through a breakup and I feel like she's very comfortable with that friend attention she gets from him. He doesn't see the problem with it but I feel like it's because he fails to see how he is neglecting my needs as a girlfriend. I have anxiety and I feel like this heightens it. The fact that after all these years together he doesn't know where to draw the line in a friendship. They also text at odd hours of the morning (e.g. 1 am or 2am). I don't know if Im reading too much into it but it really affects my mood. To be frank, I get anxious about not having a boyfriend whenever I think that maybe we both need a break. But other times I am fine with that thought because I am exhausted by thinking about all the problems especially at this time. It feels like everytime we take a step forward, we take 3 steps back too. He also labels my concerns as insecurities, which I think it may be but I was speaking to someone today and they said if it was a legitimate concern of mine then it shouldn't be undermined simply as an insecurity. i have seen a counsellor over other recurring issues I have had (last year was tough for me). And i am all for lending a helping hand but I think there are some underlying issues there. I have also been very emotional over these issues (and others) and cried a lot over it yesterday

Bellakarina Pregnant and unsure what to do
  • replies: 2

I have just got pregnant from a work colleague. We are both single and both had a one night hook up with me falling pregnant. He wants me to have an abortion and i dont think i want that. So unsure abd so broken about it

I have just got pregnant from a work colleague. We are both single and both had a one night hook up with me falling pregnant. He wants me to have an abortion and i dont think i want that. So unsure abd so broken about it

Barty174 I am scared and lost about my wifes depression
  • replies: 9

Hi peeps,This is a first for me but I am struggling. My wife of 22yrs has recently been diagnosed with moderate depression. I love her so much and I am struggling and hurting bad. I am doing my best to support and care for her. We walk 10km a day and... View more

Hi peeps,This is a first for me but I am struggling. My wife of 22yrs has recently been diagnosed with moderate depression. I love her so much and I am struggling and hurting bad. I am doing my best to support and care for her. We walk 10km a day and I try to open up to her but she never opens up to me. She says shes "numb inside". When I hug her and tell her I love her there is nothing.. She feels nothing.. She has a good friend network and lots of support amd lots of love pouring in, but me, nothing..I pray everyday for a glimmer of love, a spark to occur but I am struggling so much. I feel alone in this. I dont want to loose my wife. I have always pictured us 80 with heaps of grandkids.. Will she ever love me again? I am so sad trying to hold it all together and be strong including seeing my own psych for help.. Unfortunately I have realised I am only human. A lost lonely one at that... What can I do? Will she ever come back to me? I know shes dealing with alot.. Meds are still in the infant stage (3 weeks) and I am prepared to wait how ever long it takes and to take it day by day.. but... Is there a light at the end of this tunnel.. Will she feel for me as she once did??

Feelinghopeless Feeling lost
  • replies: 1

Hi all, My first post so see how I go. I don't know who I am any more. I've been married for 11 years and have put everything into my marriage and kids. Over the last few years I have found things out about my husband, which makes me realize he is no... View more

Hi all, My first post so see how I go. I don't know who I am any more. I've been married for 11 years and have put everything into my marriage and kids. Over the last few years I have found things out about my husband, which makes me realize he is not entirely show I thought he was. I'm not sure how much I trust him as much as I use to. I find myself obsessing over what he is doing all the time and can't seem to get myself motivated to do anything else. I feel like I am constantly worrying about everything. I have trouble sleeping, make myself sick by worrying about things that haven't even happened. I can't remember what I like to do for myself anymore. I'm not the same person I use to be. I use to be happy I use to have fun but can't seem to get out of this rut I'm in. How do I figure out who I am? I don't want to constantly worry about everything. I want to enjoy my life. I want to be happy. Thanks for listening...

Lostbuthappy Love life
  • replies: 2

Im 26years old in a serious 5+year relationship where im not so sure i love him anymore i see him more as a friend than my other half. I know i dont want to lose him but i dont know if i want to be with him anymore. I dont know what life is like with... View more

Im 26years old in a serious 5+year relationship where im not so sure i love him anymore i see him more as a friend than my other half. I know i dont want to lose him but i dont know if i want to be with him anymore. I dont know what life is like without him but i want to know its just i know he doesnt want to have a break he wants to be together forever or not at all but i dont want to end it completely and then a month or so down the track realise ive made the biggest mistake of my life. I think if i was to make up my mind this very moment id say i want to be alone for a little bit but i know if i tell him that he will make the decision of walking away forever. Do i stay and try and work it out even though i know i need to be alone or do i say goodbye and walk away and maybe regret this for the rest of my life... i know if i need time away i have friends i can stay with but its not the same as being on my own and having alone time to find myself and work out my thoughts. I dont want him to never be in my life but i dont know if i want to be together for the rest of our lives..

Tex73 How do I stop being self righteous and angry?
  • replies: 2

Hi all first time on here. Feel I have no where else to go. Had been hit hard with stress and anxiety at work then treated really bad by company I'd given 10 years to after going out on stress leave. They wore me down until I stuffed up and then sack... View more

Hi all first time on here. Feel I have no where else to go. Had been hit hard with stress and anxiety at work then treated really bad by company I'd given 10 years to after going out on stress leave. They wore me down until I stuffed up and then sacked me. I have been unemployed for 7 months the first time ever in my life. I have a great supportive family. I thought that having so much time at home would bring us together but I seem to just be arguing all the time "I'm" always right about something or getting defensive or snapping all the time. I just now had a massive argument with my wife and my mother in law and feel like there is no coming back from it...just don't know what to do. The arguments usually stem from me being overerly defensive about something or being too stubborn not to know when I'm wrong and apologise or if I've raised my voice. I don't even know I'm doing this until it's too late and I don't know why I'm doing it or how to stop it. It's like its subconscious or something ? Please any advise on how to stop doing this I love my family and don't want to subject them to me being like this anymore.

Jandan A married guy cheated on me ,should I tell his wife about his truth ?
  • replies: 4

I am 22ywars old international student studying here ,I met a person online on a dating site .actualy he was 42 years old but doesn't look that old in person .for some reason I fell in love with him it was an incredible feeling he used to care about ... View more

I am 22ywars old international student studying here ,I met a person online on a dating site .actualy he was 42 years old but doesn't look that old in person .for some reason I fell in love with him it was an incredible feeling he used to care about me a lot n the love he has given to me is something I felt on top of the world .he loved me a way that I can't explain .but he never called me after 6.30 pm and even in the morning he used to text me while he was on the way to work .after I got suspicious I started searching about him I found out his a married guy ... once I asked him about this he said that he wanted to tell me the truth but he didn't feel like breaking my heart as he is getting divorced soon which was a big lie ,,he pretended to me that he is having a bad family life and he is getting divorced from his wife which was a big lie ,,, he is a happily married man to his wife and to all his relatives .. he just used me and I can't come over how he has played with me .. it's nearly been an year but still I keep thinking of him and all this year I tried to find his wife's number and now I have found it .I have been crying for all nights till now .i can't concentrate on my studies well .. I always wanted to tell his wife about her husbands truth but is it a good idea ? If she is really happy thinking she got a good husband would that be a bad thing to tell about his real side and see another women crying like me for the rest of her life ? please can some one give me some advice on this

LunaGalaxy Complicated family problems
  • replies: 5

I have a complicated family. I had 2 parents and a sibling in this country. Parent A and B got divorced when I was mid 20's. Parent A moved down the road with someone who has a odd history and Parent B moved back to where we had immigrated from and m... View more

I have a complicated family. I had 2 parents and a sibling in this country. Parent A and B got divorced when I was mid 20's. Parent A moved down the road with someone who has a odd history and Parent B moved back to where we had immigrated from and married someone online. Sibling, with years of what seemed like an active social life turned out depressed and suicidal after divorce and some how blames everyone else but its all very top secret. I have one child , who i would like to take overseas to see the family but I am also worried about what i call "remourn", its because most of my life relatives have come and gone which I know I won't see them again for ages and miss them terribly. The point of my post is that because my family is scattered across the globe , I feel like I have missed out on so much with them because of immigration. I don't know why my sibling has been so depressed and why I am to blame when I didn't do anything wrong because I was on the brunt of the shifting mood and being called everything under the sun. I don't know why parent A has to side with the partner so much to the point where parent a doesn't ring or visit. There's always some agenda. Parent B doesn't want/understand how alone and sad I am here when all I wanted was to be surrounded by family and have cherished memories but instead is called everything under the sun and abandoned. I am at the point where I am so hurt , confused and alone that I feel it would be better to just move away , I would love to get married and have more children although I'm in my early 30's and feel I am pushing my luck on that . But just leave and let them be because I don't know what I did to them for them to be like this. I would love to live with parent B in the home country but my abandonment issues and trust issues really kick in when I am really down and how do I know that everything will turn out ok? Or is that just repeating the same old thing and expecting a different result when clearly your flogging a dead horse when it comes to patching up families. Will your expectations be out of sync and still be unhappy.