Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Heartbroken and Confused

Sandy centre
Community Member

Hi there

i am not sure where to begin but the crush that I have had for 9.5 years told me in October that he didnt want to ruin our friendship and then asked me if I was a bit disappointed and the final words werehe would be there for me?? The relationship had been an emotional affair for the past 14 months before October. I am still married and my husband guessed who the man was that I had a crush on.....thankfully I have never slept with my crush....

i feel so bad because I have now seen my crush twice this week at work things and the last time was in October.... but I know I still have feelings for him.....

. By the way My crush has only recently been divorced in the last couple of months.....my husband and I have been married for 10.5 years

i just feel really awful and depressed af what I have done to my husband and confused because I know that I have strong feelings for my friend....

If anyone has any suggestions to deal with this that would be much appreciated.

kind regards


3 Replies 3

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Sylvia

Thankyou for posting on the forums with us. As you know the forums are a safe and judgement free place where you can post

You are very strong for acknowledging the problem and your feelings too. That takes huge strength. I had a great female GP a few years ago that helped me out with a similar problem I was having. I booked a double appointment and told her everything that was on my mind. It helped me so much Sylvia

Can I ask you (if thats okay of course) if everything is going okay with you and your husband?

You still have feelings for your crush as what you have mentioned. Just so we can support you more effectively can I also ask what your husbands thoughts are on this

If you wish to stay with your husband would he (and you) be happy with a joint counseling session to help heal the situation?

Please forgive me for the questions....Just trying to understand if thats okay

Thankyou for being a part of the Beyond Blue forum family Sylvia

Im Paul and its good to meet you

My Kind thoughts

Hi Paul

Thank you for getting back to me.

My husband and I are getting along and he wants to move forward. I feel we are but emotionally I think I am not being fair to him and am letting him down... My husband tells me that he loves me......

The other thing is that 2 of my closest girlfriends know about the situation and they have warned me to stay away from this crush because they think he is going to destroy me and are really angry how he and his xwife have treated me.... They think my husband is great.....

By the way my crush and his xwife were mutual friends. Unfortunately his xwife has upset me and I don't want to stay friends with her....

My husband told me that he will get in touch with my crush because he likes the guy which I find strange... However when I mentioned to my husband the other day that I saw my crush he thought by the way that I acted that he is not ready to contacf him..... I want to talk to my husband about it again but I am not sure how to approach it.......

If you have any more suggestions that would be appreciated....I just feel really bad and feel like a mess and I know it's my own doing....

Thank you

Hi Sandy centre and blondguy, this thread is on similar territory to Crush on good friends husband.

The support you're providing is great, but we really need you to help us out by keeping to one thread per topic for support. It's incredibly hard for the community to keep up with a member's story if it's broken up into different threads, and having multiple threads going at once on the same topic is also unfair on others who are seeking support as it pushes their threads further down the list of posts.

We're going to close off this thread now – please continue your discussion in the original thread.