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Pregnant with baby no. 2 I don’t know what I want from my husband

Emm2020
Community Member
I’m currently pregnant with baby no. 2 and I am having feelings of hate, resentment and anger towards my husband. He doesn’t deserve it but I just can’t shift these feelings. Today I broke after having a highly overwhelming morning. I think what hurts the most is he isn’t concerned about my well-being- he is just constantly telling me how I am damaging our two year old by behaving this way and that I need to do something about it because it’s just not right for me to act this way. I just wish he supported me. He asks me to talk to him about it but every time I do, he shuts my feelings down and basically tells me I am wrong for feeling the way I do. I’m not sure what I am after - maybe just to vent. But since all this happened he has demanded I seek help so since it is the weekend this is where I have turned to.
3 Replies 3

monkey_magic
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
Hi Emm2020,

Firstly congratulations on your second pregnancy even though it's through a difficult time but hopefully we can come up with some strategies. I'm a single, 38 yr old female that's been around the forums a few years now.

When your husband says you are damaging your two year old by behaving this way what does he mean? When you say you broke what does it look like? I'm only asking to be able to assist you better.

If you could get back to us that would be great. We all deserve to have our feelings heard and validated there's nothing wrong with that.

This is an annonymous space for for you vent away Emm2020.

Look forward to hopefully hearing back from you.

Thanks monkey_magic.

When I broke this morning it looked like me not being able to manage my feelings in a healthy way and these big feelings were let out by me screaming at my husband all of the things that were bothering me - for example me being nine months pregnant and having to do everything around the house. During this time I was crying and because of this - the yelling and crying I am damaging our two year old.

Since everything has calmed down he has made it all about him and how my actions are hurting him and he can’t deal with it. I think I am just tired of not feeling heard.

Thanks for getting back to us Emm2020,

Oh ok, so everything built up and you let it all out.

It sounds like your husband prefers you to speak in a calm manner about things but I can understand that you were hurting, stressed and had enough.

If you have a conversation with him about your needs and expectations from him is he likely to help out or still make it all about him?

I can totally understand your need for help and support from your husband being nine months pregnant. Plus you are dealing with pregnancy hormones. Your body is going through changes.

Maybe take in some big breaths next time and speak to your husband about what's bothering you. This could be a catalyst for change. I think he should help you more. He should make you feel loved and special... there's a whole other life growing inside of you and it's tiring.

I hope you can both eventually grow closer together, whether through good communication skills and mutual respect or if you have to see someone together so be it. It sounds like there are a few things you both need to agree to. Every relationship has things to deal with so you're definitely not alone.
Btw I've heard this too many times not to say it but kids are pretty resilient.