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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Tired_of_being Parenting, autism and bitter separation
  • replies: 5

I have been going through some tough times, abusive (physical/emotional/financial) and now my son has been asked to leave his school. He is autistic, but ok until puberty. He just does not get the social cues and he just does not get how to communica... View more

I have been going through some tough times, abusive (physical/emotional/financial) and now my son has been asked to leave his school. He is autistic, but ok until puberty. He just does not get the social cues and he just does not get how to communicate with girls. Being acrimoniously separated, we both have IVOs. I did one to remove him from house and being physically abusive to son. I was the one that dealt with his school. I am paying for his counselling and now i have noticed that ex has done transactions out of my bank account. He knew number since he was joint. But he has side business that allows him to direct debits..so he put bills into my account.. He breached his IVO and got a good behaviour bond, but it was stalking son , so not taken seriously. The ex is big on mental games and made sure i spent nearly 30 years feeling worthless, stupid and believing my memory was gone. My current issue this week is that son has been out of school for 2 weeks, then the 2 weeks of school holidays. Ex refused to discuss and now only wants to communicate by solicitor. I am left with the impossible task of trying to enrol him at either 2 schools in town. Ex works at one, and the other is across the road. So because of IVO I cannot access either, I have court date to vary in July and meeting with Catholic before this. I am hoping of working out some way of doing this. I just have nothing left. ick of the games he plays. I am beyond tears, I have a son that desperately needs lots of professional help - and I am the only one that is left to organise anything. Ex says he cant afford it, but is on over 100k and boarding at friends. I'm paying mortgage and all household bills. I am financially balancing with my credit cards, my sick leave is gone, my long service too. I still have so many days i need to take off to get son to treatment and family court. Yet it all falls to me. I get 200 per month child support. I have been physically attacked by son when i tried to limit his screen time. His father did not support the behaviour plan set up, as he has only contacted the psychologist after 9 weeks. Where do I start? I have applied for NDIS, Special Assessment for child support and have my own counsellor. But I just feel useless as I cannot accomplish anything. I am not bothering about the money as it is more important to get son help as he was asked to leave, I am so frustrated, I cant move on, I have all the bills. This just wont end.

skye1 Terrified about having a baby. Not happy like I feel I should be
  • replies: 7

I am 15 weeks pregnant and terrified. I don’t feel connected with my pregnancy, I’m reluctant to want to tell people. I find myself wishing I would just miscarry so I don’t have to go through feeling like this. I feel guilty that I feel this way and ... View more

I am 15 weeks pregnant and terrified. I don’t feel connected with my pregnancy, I’m reluctant to want to tell people. I find myself wishing I would just miscarry so I don’t have to go through feeling like this. I feel guilty that I feel this way and it breaks my heart. I am terrified thinking about if I will be a good mother, terrified that my child won’t be a good person, terrified that my partner will leave if I don’t look the same after having our baby, terrified my job will replace me and I’m left struggling and unable to help provide . Just terrified. I feel guilty that I should be over the moon but I’m not just emotionless and scared

Beans17 Is it me or them??
  • replies: 3

Hey everyone, this is my first post. my anxiety has been ripe all weekend, I find myself looking at my wall for longer than I like to admit. The only thing keeping me sane is walking my dog. i was dating a guy for about 2 months, he seemed perfect. E... View more

Hey everyone, this is my first post. my anxiety has been ripe all weekend, I find myself looking at my wall for longer than I like to admit. The only thing keeping me sane is walking my dog. i was dating a guy for about 2 months, he seemed perfect. Everything I thought I’d never find all in one man. My anxiety got the better of me after about 3 weeks and I tried pushing him away. He was confused but I snapped myself out of it and decided to open up to him instead. I told him about my past, my dad that was never there, my mum who’s suffered depression my whole life and put it onto me a lot, the bullying in school ect.. I told him everything. I really felt like I could.., then a couple of weeks past and I had a concern in the relationship to which he turned around and said that’s your insecurity, not my issue. This became a more regular thing, he would say ‘you’re just being crazy’ - to things I asked my friends about and they 100% agreed that these things would bother them too, he told me I should talk to a psychologist (he’s done it before and said it helped him) so I took the steps to get a health plan from my doc. (Currently waiting to book in). Yet still every issue I had he still just reverted back to calling me crazy. It was hurting me more, me having opened up to this man and then it felt like he was using it against me. We had another argument about him going to a party instead of going away camping with me. Again, he said I just don’t trust him and I’m ‘not showing normal behaviour’ and he doesn’t want to be with someone he has to walk on eggshells around.. that was Friday night, he left, blocked me on everything and that’s that. He has a lot of family stuff going on atm so I don’t know if it’s more of a stress thing, my anxiety was too much for him to deal with? Or maybe I am just crazy and expect too much? Im so hurt, I really thought he was wonderful and I’d hate to think I ruined things by being ‘too much’ while he was already stressed out. I can’t even reach out to him. I just feel really shit

Larni18 Bad breakup
  • replies: 6

I was dating a guy for 4 months. I thought we were both very in love, we hardly ever fought and he usually treated me very well- he seemed like such a decent guy. He spent so much time with me and my family and I really took care of him- I did everyt... View more

I was dating a guy for 4 months. I thought we were both very in love, we hardly ever fought and he usually treated me very well- he seemed like such a decent guy. He spent so much time with me and my family and I really took care of him- I did everything I could to make him happy. We started fighting about ten days before we broke up and he was talking to me like crap. A girl contacted me last week to say she had been seeing him and she wanted to know if we were still together- we were. I sent him some angry texts and a voicemail and then proceeded to block him on everything. The girl wanted proof- she then proceeded to say he told her we were broken up (he said 3 months ago and then 2 months ago) but I had photos with time stamps of less than a month ago. She called me a psycho and a liar, said I had no proof. I told her to have him but she wouldn’t leave me alone so I blocked her too. I’m so crushed and still shocked at how different he was in reality to who I thought he was. I’m desperate to talk to him but I know he would only use it against me, it will make things worse and it will prolong my recovery. Does anyone have a past experience or advice to share? I wonder why he cheated (he was on tinder the whole time and there was multiple girls and they were like shorter relationships than ours but still not just sex), because I know I deserve better but it still feels so awful. Oh also, obviously it was a lie as he was saying it to others but he would frequently say he loved me so much and that he wanted to spend his life with me. He would get upset and just about cry if we argued and say he was scared he was “going to lose me” or that I would break up with me. It just makes no sense to me. He also would talk about how he had been cheating on so he would never ever do it. What kind of person could lie so much and for what purpose? He obviously didn’t really want to be with me.

sprinkles07 Seperation after 15+yrs, and 4 children
  • replies: 2

Hi all In Jan this year i found msgs between my husband and one of his work colleagues. Once confronted he said it had stayed as a friendship and crossed the line for about 2.5mths, and she ended up kissing him and he decided that irs not what he wan... View more

Hi all In Jan this year i found msgs between my husband and one of his work colleagues. Once confronted he said it had stayed as a friendship and crossed the line for about 2.5mths, and she ended up kissing him and he decided that irs not what he wanted to do.... he wanted to fix things at home. The msgs i read seemed to support this but there had been ones that had been deleted. Anyway, a week later, he moved into a little unit to sort this head out. He claimed he just couldn't get over what he had let happen and done to me as he was the most in love and happiest he's ever been with me. So we started as seperated but not broken up....then he said he just couldnt see past it, then he could,then he couldnt. Then it was he couldn't unblur the line with her as he still had to have alot of contaxt with her for work.....throughout the last 4mths he's been flat out lying to me, sleeping with me still and making out like we possibly had a chance. Then i got phone records and even after him telling me they onky have contact for work purposes, the phone records told a completely different story. And he still tried to pass that off as only worl and him telling her he couldn't be with her. He then ended up moving 45mins away, still telling me she's not in the picture, we slept together the night before he started applying for all these houses! And i had heard she was moving to the same place he coincidentally was trying to get a house. Anyway he moved, and i found out she's actuslly staying there with him when she doesn't have her child and our kids aren't there!! Why lie!! Anyway, I'm heartbroken and so sad all the time. I've stayed seeing a counsellor and she was great. But its at night i have the most trouble i just csnt get the thought of them being together out of my head. How coukd he do that, did 15yrs mean nothing...... I'm stuck in or family home at this stage, its taking its toll. But our 17yr old is mid way through yr12 so we can't really move atm. I just feel stuck.... and unable to move past the feeling of wanting him to be with me and i hate it. I know time will help, but.... it's really hard.

PurpleRed How do I drop this "friend"?
  • replies: 2

I'm a 26 year old online content creator with a modest following. I became friends with another content creator with a slightly larger following. We met through a Facebook group for creators, and she was an admin. This was around August 2019. Fast fo... View more

I'm a 26 year old online content creator with a modest following. I became friends with another content creator with a slightly larger following. We met through a Facebook group for creators, and she was an admin. This was around August 2019. Fast forward to the end of 2019 - The group goes downhill fast. Her fellow admins have the claws out for me and many other members. I leave the group and don't return. She's upset I left. I warned her they'd do the same to her. A couple of months after that, they do the same to her and she gets kicked out of her own group around February 2020. It's now mid June, and she still doesn't shut up about them and how they've sabotaged her YouTube channel with dislikes. This woman is 39, btw. I feel like she's clinging onto me because I understand her situation. I'm so sick of hearing about it. I've tried ending the friendship to no avail, telling her I wont be online for a while, delaying the time between messages by a day, sometimes even days and even telling her directly that I don't want to be friends and I find her constant whining messages annoying. She always finds a way to weasel her way back in and she's always the one who always initiates conversation. I guess the question is: How do I get rid of her? I could just block her, but I don't want her telling people about my secret Instagram account. That's my main concern if I break this friendship off. Should I delete this IG account and just make a new one without her? Thanks for reading.

rainbowsunsets Depressive episode and losing friends
  • replies: 1

Hi, I am a first time poster here and I have depression and OCD. I have been in my high school friendship group for years, there are 5 of us. I am now 33. They have always been aware of my depression and OCD. They have never really understood but we ... View more

Hi, I am a first time poster here and I have depression and OCD. I have been in my high school friendship group for years, there are 5 of us. I am now 33. They have always been aware of my depression and OCD. They have never really understood but we have had our good times and when I’ve been well I’m a great friend and I don’t discuss my day to day battles with my mental health. Then when I have episodes I isolate and can’t find it within myself to answer texts or socialise. I have explained this to them. In the last three months I have been in the deepest and darkest depression of my life and I have just come out of it about a week ago. So I started contacting my friends to say hi and asked to catch up. One girl whom I considered to be the closest to me just sent me a text message ending our friendship a couple of hours ago by saying that she struggles with me cause coming in and out of her life and that when I am available she finds the frequency of my communication all encompassing and it stresses her out and effects her mental health. She said she has enjoyed our friendship over the years but feels we are going in different direction (this I don’t understand). Then she just says she doesn’t want to catch up and she hopes that I respect her decision and just wished me all the best. I text her back asking to talk on phone about it. She text back saying, “enough has been said and please respect my decision. The rest of the girls are not texting me back either. I think they are all gone. I am in shock and sad and don’t know why this is happening to me......

Guest0090 Blaming myself for them breaking up with me.
  • replies: 9

Hey guys. I'm going through a very rough break up. We were engaged and she broke our entire relationship off becausebshe couldn't let go of past issues. Mistakes I made in the past include opening up to her about my issues when she asked me to, this ... View more

Hey guys. I'm going through a very rough break up. We were engaged and she broke our entire relationship off becausebshe couldn't let go of past issues. Mistakes I made in the past include opening up to her about my issues when she asked me to, this relates to family issues and she said that it made her feel like her issues didn't matter. I actively tried to cope with these issues on my own because it isn't fair to put them on your partner but this upset her more because she felt I didn't trust her. I have explained multiple times that it is my issue and that i don't want it to affevt our relationship but it did. I couldn't be sexual with her due to these stresses, and explained that it was the stresses and not her, she's the most beautiful person in the world to me and I've never even looked at anyone else. She kept things from me for fear I would be angry if she spoke up. In the past I have gotten frustrated when she pushes issues onto me but I never ever get angry, I simply ask her to give me time to think about it and then we would work on a solution and things would be okay again.

Over_thinker Am I over thinking things?
  • replies: 8

I have suffered depression and anxiety for most of my life. Lately my anxiety is getting out of control and I can feel my depression creeping back. My husband has been texting and receiving texts from a coworker constantly. Most days they they text, ... View more

I have suffered depression and anxiety for most of my life. Lately my anxiety is getting out of control and I can feel my depression creeping back. My husband has been texting and receiving texts from a coworker constantly. Most days they they text, it could be about work related stuff or everyday small chat (football, what’s for dinner, just checking in to see how one is going) texting can be late at night when he is at home and sometimes up 3 times during the day morning, midday and nighttime with 10-15 msg being exchanged each time My husband and I have been together for nearly 25yr, married for 15 of those. Have 3 gorgeous children. I have spoken to him about it and he reassured me they are nothing but friends. She is 20 yrs younger then me and gorgeous looking. And I feel like I’m stuck in a mummy body. I am going crazy thinking about it all the time. Questioning everything he does.

pinktulip Parents and therapy *TRIGGER WARNING*
  • replies: 8

Hi there, I have a question about dealing with family when you have mental health issues and still living with them. If your parents are paying for your therapy/medical treatment and they get distressed with your mental state at times and then insist... View more

Hi there, I have a question about dealing with family when you have mental health issues and still living with them. If your parents are paying for your therapy/medical treatment and they get distressed with your mental state at times and then insist on talking to the psychologist or psychiatrist... (you've over 18) Am I meant to go to psychology or psychiatry appointments never with parents...? Also, how often should I have therapy? Because I've had the problem when I had 10 medicare sessions and I said I wanted to psychologist alone and my mother insisted on being in the room with me - normally, I had let her in. I mean if you thought you might have bipolar disorder and your mother thinks you react to all medications and starts saying how I reacted to fever medication when I was a baby (I don't now react to that medication in that way) and on and on re distress Or then I got worse so my parents didn't restrict to 10 sessions (because they said I didn't talk previously) and had weekly sessions... but there's been the problem where you haven't been told that a particular therapy was designed to be able to be implemented in group environments... but were told to go to a psychologist 1 on 1 (bought the workbook after the fact). It's like because I have my parents - people didn't tell me about the group option... Also, if I've been trying to do relaxing activities and these activities have been making me distressed... Then I get told to keep doing them... Or I was seeing a psychologist and then my parents decide not to go back to that one... Like it could be that particular therapy not being appropriate or person still training in it... Or being told to go to a psychiatrist... but you have been getting agitated talking to the psychiatrist - re condescending comments re a lifelong condition and smiling... Didn't want to raise it to parents but when I did; my mother was like... you should have said something earlier about it. Also, I'm not sure what I'm meant to do... Because I've had the experience where a psychiatrist told me I had the right to **** myself because I was over 18... But because my parents were there, the psychiatrist repeated this to them in the vicinity of her 5 or 6 year old daughter (which had been picked up from school by the receptionist) - If they hadn't been there, would they have believed me? So I don't like how confiding in my parents can distress them but if I do sometimes they distress me further.