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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Cantthinkstraightsteve New here and breakup problem
  • replies: 26

Hey.... My gf left 4 days ago....she says it was family reasons...but I suspect otherwise due to the fight we had. 2 years ago I left a boring relationship with three beautiful daughters...and met her 6 months later...since then Its been an awesome j... View more

Hey.... My gf left 4 days ago....she says it was family reasons...but I suspect otherwise due to the fight we had. 2 years ago I left a boring relationship with three beautiful daughters...and met her 6 months later...since then Its been an awesome journey...we moved in together 6 months later...man I'm finding it hard to write thithose 5 children moved in....I couldn't of been a more modeled bf and role model..for her children...I can't go on...I'm devistated

JW__123 My Partner Thinks About Other Women
  • replies: 7

My partner and I have been going through a really rough time the last week and a half. It’s only a semi new relationship and we also moved in together about a month ago. But right now I’m hurt and I don’t know what to think/feel. We use to be so infa... View more

My partner and I have been going through a really rough time the last week and a half. It’s only a semi new relationship and we also moved in together about a month ago. But right now I’m hurt and I don’t know what to think/feel. We use to be so infatuated with each other, always complimenting each other, always saying how much we mean to one another and yes eventually it dies off. My partner has become some what paranoid and slightly angry. He thinks he sees me do something and when I try to talk to him he ends up getting upset/angry I don’t understand. This went on for a few days last week and we had since spoken about how he needs to work on his mental health by getting back into meditation, writing in a journal and stretching (he use to do all of this when we first got together but along the way stopped doing it). He said himself that he has been getting paranoid & angry & he doesn’t really know the reason why. Everything seemed fine & back on track until I did something I completely regret (& I know it was completely a breach of privacy & I’m kicking myself for doing it so please no hate on this post as I was only trying to get an understanding of what he was thinking) I read his last entry in his journal. It was addressing that he’s feeling a lot better mentally, then I got to the part that said ‘I can’t stop thinking about other women at the moment & I definitely don’t want to do that to (my name), I can’t.’ So now I am absolutely heartbroken. I confronted him, apologised for snooping and had a good cry (both of us) as he felt betrayed and I felt heartbroken. He swore they’re just thoughts and he wrote them down as he doesn’t understand them and is trying to get rid of them - but he would never ever cheat or entertain someone else which he swears by. It’s hard as he’s told me how he was in a resentful relationship previously and they had both cheated on each other, but our relationship is nothing like theirs was. So I still get worried there’s a possibility he could. I guess I’m torn on what to do and how to think. I’m gutted he’s thinking about other women, I have a million questions going through my head & now I’m wondering if he’s thinking about them while he’s with me.. I can’t stop crying as the sentence keeps popping into my head. What can I do to get over this? We both love each other, we’ve both discussed how we need time and we’re on the right track to making this relationship better - but I can’t stop thinking about it..

lifeisbutadream Feeling very hurt and confused after Ex re-appears
  • replies: 5

My ex and I broke up 3 months ago, due to long distance and I didn't feel like a priority, which hurt my feelings. He agreed that I deserved better. I realised I didn't want to lose him and asked if we could try and talk things through and figure thi... View more

My ex and I broke up 3 months ago, due to long distance and I didn't feel like a priority, which hurt my feelings. He agreed that I deserved better. I realised I didn't want to lose him and asked if we could try and talk things through and figure things out. He was unwilling, but said we could be friends and maybe try again in the future and if there was anything I needed to know, I could ask . I was devastated and said I couldn't be friends while I was still in love with him. I begged just to talk to say goodbye, but he just ghosted me. The next few months were awful, I missed my best friend. I messaged him a few times, but everything was ignored, so I gradually let go. Recently, I've started to feel more hopeful. But yesterday, he sent me a single message saying he missed me and asked if I was alright. I was completely shocked. I replied cautiously and asked why he was reaching out. He said he "just felt like it". I asked if there was anything else he wanted to say, and he declined. I couldn't believe that after all that time he didn't have a single apology or explanation. It was only after I said how much I had worried about him, did he acknowledge it was selfish of him "to retreat inside himself" and I deserved better. We continued to talk and he became colder and colder; I couldn't believe this was the same man I had fallen in love with. I told him I had forgiven him for what had happened, but I wasn't a back-up option for when it suited him. He ignored this, but thanked me for forgiving him. My heart was breaking again, the person I loved so dearly had only reached out to ease their conscience and loneliness. I told him I never wanted us to break-up, I just wanted someone who would put me first. He responded with "I'm sorry you feel like I couldn't be that for you". I was so shocked he would blame me when I had made it clear how much I loved and supported him, and would choose him above anyone else. I poured out my heart - telling him how much I had missed him and loved him, but knew he needed space. All he could say was "I don't know what to say to you, I'm sorry". I asked if we could talk to say goodbye - ignored. So I wished him well and blocked. But - why? Why would he contact me after such a long time only to cause me more hurt? I feel like he has no awareness or empathy for me and I tried to be kind to him but I just feel used and discarded. I still love him and I only want the best for him - why did he treat me like this? Did I deserve it?

Champagne_charlie How do I fix my relationship with my parents and and be okay!
  • replies: 4

Hi, I am going to start from a long time ago. I had an unstable childhood I went to 14 different schools and was home schooled for three years. I left school in year 9. I can't remember the first time but my mother never liked me much. She would say ... View more

Hi, I am going to start from a long time ago. I had an unstable childhood I went to 14 different schools and was home schooled for three years. I left school in year 9. I can't remember the first time but my mother never liked me much. She would say things like I was worthless or make fun of me. She mentioned she regretted having me. At 13 my step father left us and my world was no longer protected and my mother allowed bad things to happen to me. I went to Foster care but she needed me. Finally they put me with my grandmother and I didn't hear from her for a year. Then she called again. I ran to help her. It's always about her and now my step dad's back he isn't much better. Always mad about something at someone. And when it comes to my kids they ignore me. I have cut them out but then. They speak to my friends or kids and make me feel bad. I love helping people too. I have a few kids mostly older but last year I had a child who has an airway defect. She has turned blue many times and is on oxygen and has a feeding tube. And they got stuck in qld with me because they don't drive and the xpt isn't running. Since then they refuse to stay inside my house no matter how much I fight with them and I have asked them to leave tomorrow. I feel terrible but a common cold could kill my daughter and I feel I can't risk it. My mother keeps reminding me I had the same airway defect and that it is my just desserts that this is happening to me because I too turned blue. I understand she feels this way but my daughter who is only five months doesn't deserve this. She is a happy smiling baby. They want to stay the whole lock down but I have said no because I rent. My eldest son and eldest daughter now hate them and my mother keeps pretending to my husband she was the best mother and while he didn't mean to be horrible he said is that why she has to mediate before and wakes up screaming and runs off to hide. I was deeply embarrassed and now my mother thinks I am being dramatic. I have always have self hatred issues so no surprise that I hate myself for asking them to leave, but what I want to ask is how can I fix this? How can I not fear them? Their arrival? Or even fix our past? How can I stop these panicked nightmares? I have been to doctors and currently nothing has helped except meditating. Please leave any suggestions for me. I don't wish to hate them. Nor do I want to keep hurting. Thank you for reading this.

Badluckgirl1 Help my family is falling apart
  • replies: 12

Hi Im new to this but i am in need of help. I seem to have been through so much. Its just one thing after another and i just don't know what to do anymore. The latest thing that has hit me is my son has gone off the rails he is in his 20s with the wr... View more

Hi Im new to this but i am in need of help. I seem to have been through so much. Its just one thing after another and i just don't know what to do anymore. The latest thing that has hit me is my son has gone off the rails he is in his 20s with the wrong crowd and living a thugs life. I want to help him but he has shut me out and doesn't want help. Please where do i go? What do i do?

shucks46 Learning to love again
  • replies: 4

Hi all. I have been separated fro my wife of 19 years for about 18 months now. The relationship was like any other ups and downs. Due to domestic violence on on her part I decided to walk away which absolutely destroyed me and triggered a massive sta... View more

Hi all. I have been separated fro my wife of 19 years for about 18 months now. The relationship was like any other ups and downs. Due to domestic violence on on her part I decided to walk away which absolutely destroyed me and triggered a massive state of depression, loneliness and the feeling of being empty inside. After 6 months or so being apart I tried to rekindle and save the relationship however that didn’t work out so well. I met another female and had a off and on relationship for for about 18 months, she started talking about love after the first couple weeks which I was a bit uncomfortable with because to me love is a strong word, serious feeling and emotions, however I figured I’d stick it out and see how it goes needless to say I just couldn’t develop any strong feelings for her yes I did like and care for her but that was it. I feel as if I would be unable to get close to another female again on the fear of things going sour and sending me back to the state of depression I was in or worse yet I’m not ready to be alone if that makes sense. Honestly I haven’t had much luck with girlfriends even from the early teenage years. I’m just wondering if anyone else has the same issues and if so what’s your strategy please? Thanks.

Kaitlinxroses Problem with my cousins relationship
  • replies: 4

Hi I’m not sure if this is in the right forum or not but I’m seeking to get some advice on a situation that’s currently happening. My cousin who is 20 lives away from home with her boyfriend and his parents, they had a child a year ago after dating f... View more

Hi I’m not sure if this is in the right forum or not but I’m seeking to get some advice on a situation that’s currently happening. My cousin who is 20 lives away from home with her boyfriend and his parents, they had a child a year ago after dating for only a few months. My cousin recently has been messaging me about how her boyfriend is verbally abusing her and threatening to break up with her constantly. He has been calling her a cheating s*** and fat, and from what she has told me this has been going on for months without us knowing! She told me she wants to move back home but from what it seems he is threatening to take her children away from her if she does. Im looking for advice on how to handle this and how to help her get away from this kind of situation?

daphnejanee My first post - dealing with my first breakup
  • replies: 17

Hi all, this is my first post. I’m feeling lost at the moment and need a space where I can release all my feelings. So, I’m sorry in advance for my lengthy post and thank you to anyone who takes the time to read through it. It’s been a little over 2 ... View more

Hi all, this is my first post. I’m feeling lost at the moment and need a space where I can release all my feelings. So, I’m sorry in advance for my lengthy post and thank you to anyone who takes the time to read through it. It’s been a little over 2 weeks since I broke up with my boyfriend and I’m really struggling to cope. After months of pain, I finally had to guts to walk away. He was a controlling partner. He had major trust issues because I had a lot of male friends in the past. This caused him to think that I was cheating, lying and doing something behind his back. He had an app where he could see my location 24/7 and he was logged into all my social media accounts so he could check who I was talking to. All of this really brought me down. I felt so useless and worthless. It would cause a problem whenever I left the house because he thought I was doing something behind his back. I was so scared of how he would react towards me if I made a wrong move. He had always got really angry and yelled at me when we fought. I just obeyed all of his rules because I was scared of causing a problem. I wasn’t happy. I felt trapped, like I was living in fear. And 2 weeks ago, it got to a stage where I was so broken. I still loved him, but I didn’t want to be with him anymore. So, I left him. Now I find myself crying for hours every day. I have overdue assignments but I’m really struggling to focus on doing my work. I sit down in front of my laptop to work and my mind just goes blank. I can’t sleep properly. I find myself going to bed between 2-3am every night and not getting out of bed until midday. I’ve lost my appetite and don’t feel like eating. I was exercising to take my mind off it in the first week, but now I have no energy to do anything. I’ve tried talking to my best friend, but I can’t help but feel like I’m annoying her with my daily messages of me crying. I live alone with my mum, but I’m not ready to tell her about the breakup yet. I’m afraid of breaking down and crying in front of her and the questions she’ll ask. Does anyone have any suggestions of things I can do every day to take my mind off all of this? It’s like a broken record in my head that won’t stop, and I just want to move on and focus on myself, but I’m finding it really hard. I know it’s only been 2 weeks, but this is my first breakup. I really don't know how to deal with this and how to stop the pain of the bad memories. Any advice would really be appreciated! Thanks guys, daphnejanee

Dlsth0708 Tired of trying
  • replies: 6

Hi Forumers! I am in my 30s and have two young children to my ex. I have bi-polar 2, anxiety and PTSD. My partner and I have been struggling for some time. We have known each other since we were children but have been in a relationship for just over ... View more

Hi Forumers! I am in my 30s and have two young children to my ex. I have bi-polar 2, anxiety and PTSD. My partner and I have been struggling for some time. We have known each other since we were children but have been in a relationship for just over 12 months. I don't even know where to start... we have sex maybe every 6 weeks, and the last few times have felt like "charity sex" as in he only did it to shut me up. He put no effort in, I asked him to basically participate and he LITERALLY complained during sex. Then finishes and said "there, you right now?". I literally felt like crap. He claims he just isn't an affectionate person and doesn't think sex is important, my argument is that there is two of us in the relationship and I AM an affectionate sexual person. I just feel so lonely and unwanted.

Guest_9043 A firm decision, need some pointers
  • replies: 6

Hi all I have made a firm decision. This is solely to do with a mother. I can't call her my mother as she was NEVER EVER a mother. A mother abused me horrifically from the age of six up until my age now. I am 40 years old. It probably started before ... View more

Hi all I have made a firm decision. This is solely to do with a mother. I can't call her my mother as she was NEVER EVER a mother. A mother abused me horrifically from the age of six up until my age now. I am 40 years old. It probably started before that yet it's the earliest age I can remember from. I have only just begun therapy to deal with the madness and insanity my life has been and I cut all contact with her in December last year. Some people say to me BUT she is your mother. Once someone says that I ignore them and walk away. The abuse was seen by people and they did nothing. Some even sided with her, courtesy of her deceit and lies. No one ever came to my aide. A mother made me her confidante, counsellor, spouse and parent. On-top of that there was psychological, emotional, physical and religious abuse. To add she systematically would turn people against me when there was not enough drama so she needed to create more. She was a cruel, vindictive, master manipulator. I will not justify my decision or think it over. My decision is final. All I want to know is if anyone can help me with some info. Is it possible to hire a lawyer to get her to change her last will and testimony? I do not want a single thing from her upon her death. What I do want is not to be the executor of her will and be in charge of organising her funeral, paying off her debts and finalising everything to do with wherever she is living. I do not want to contact "family". I do not want ANY responsibility. Years ago now when my mother spoke to me about it all and gave me her last will and testimony, I felt so sad talking about it all. However, I wanted to know so I could "fill what I thought was my duty to her" This is how brainwashed I had been by her. I didn't speak up about how I felt. I was scared there would be a fight or that I would cry and she wouldn't comfort me. I did not speak up about how I felt cause I thought that would make me so selfish. Typical of an abused child, young adult and adult. I feel differently in a lot of ways now. It is once again her making me responsible for sorting everything out and expecting me to be more capable and independent. There was no talk/discussion. More this is what you will be doing. I need to move on with my life. 2quik.