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Overwhelmed with life changes

Community Member
Hi I am a young single female who is currently going through the process of buying my first home something that has been a lifelong dream of mine. (Context: grew up in a home that wasnt always financially stable and difficult times with my mum & Sis). Though this is an exciting time it has also caused me to become stressed about money as things will be tight over the next coming months, its been frustrating listening to family members give their advice on what suburb i should live in and whst type of property to buy. I know most of them mean well but i can tell some of them are pushing me to what they want and what suits them.

Im proud that im doing this as a single but it has caused my depression to rear its ugly head. Im already lonely as i dfont have many friends and genuine connections. Part of the reason why i decided to buy was whenever i tried to move out and rent people kept bailing on me. I need stability so owning my own home gives me options if i meet a partner i can sell it or turn it into a investment. Or if i dont meet someone i might decide to adopt a child when im older having my own place will help if i decide to go down that path.

On top of all this im also paying to get dental work and to make it worse im probably gonna have to get orthodontist work again which is not cheap. Im gutted ill need it again.

So im feeling overwhelmed i tried talking to my mum but she has the outdated thinking of i have a good job and about to buy a house what do i have to depressed about. Ive always had to be the good child.

At the same time as this my older sis whos in her early thirties is looking to move out to the city renting. I told her i want to cancel my gym membership and she keeps saying ive still got months beforea property settles which is true but i want to save up for furniture. I feel like my family thinks im made of money and always end fine.

Im not fine, im stubborn, i do things the hard way in life but i work hard and h ave a lot of resilience but i have a lot of mental health issues.

If youve gotten to this part thank you for reading, i need a space to vent and freedom to make my own choices.

4 Replies 4

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Lolue, a warm welcome to the site.

It couldn't be a better time to buy a property now as interest rates couldn't possibly go any lower than they are now, completely different than years ago when they were 19%, so are you able to borrow the money for your dental work as well as furniture with the housing loan saving you that extra cost per month.

Everybody will have different ideas on where you should buy, but it's not their decision, it's totally yours and what they say may have some merit, but the convenience and location that suits you in regards to shops, doctors, dentists and how many you can have access to.

I grew up in Melbourne but moved to the country years ago and would never consider moving back, where I live it's 5 minutes to anything, parking is excellent and other towns are close by and prices are cheaper to buy as well as rent, that's your choice.

Don't be dominated into buying a house where someone else wants you to purchase, it maybe a place you will regret, although their ideas may help.

If you have any queries about a house you want to buy then visit 'The Beyond Blue Home Improvement Thread', which has been created.

There will many issues here causing you to have some mental issues, so please expand your thread when you are able to.

Take care.


Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hey Lolue

Congratulations on thinking and planning and working to get into buying your own home!


I did the same thing as a single mum. It was the best thing I ever did financially (except for the "gold diggers" you need to watch out for! More on protecting your asset(s) later if you need to know).

Just have a think about this; this is YOUR money, YOUR investment, YOUR life.

And your hard work to get it!

Please follow YOUR instincts about where to buy. Look at what suits YOU.
I know it's an exciting time and you want to share it with close & extended family BUT you may be experiencing the "green eyed monster" a bit there!

Yes INDEED alot of ppl who haven't bought their own home, think we're made of money! LOL!
It's quite the opposite!

You absolutely have YOUR OWN permission to exit the gym membership. DO IT IF YOU think it's the best thing for you right now.
New furniture sounds AWESOME!

As a woman, and yes I agree it SHOULD be different nowadays but I see the ole attitudes die hard, it seems like every man and their horses feels the need to TELL us which property to buy or not to buy, how to do everything!

I would have been so much better off if I DIDN'T listen to any man tbh!

I went against everyone with "buying out" ex H (yeah from my own home) as everyone told me to sell to pay it out.
I refused.
Less than a year after Settlement it went up half a million.
Now alot more.

And no one is coming to say "Oops sorry that was really bad advice I gave you (lol). You did the right thing".
Nup. No one.

So the story goes that it's only YOU who'll be responsible and YOU WILL LOVE IT!

Many Orthodontists offer payment plans on their work. Almost all my children have had braces - seemingly whether they needed them or not lol.
Alternatively I have an "Extras Only" Health cover and it's AWESOME!
It's an "Industry Health Fund", so it's CHEAP.
Covered 50% of the braces and up to 90-100% of other things like glasses and chiro etc.

I'm excited for you Lolue, GO GIRL!

Love EM

Community Member
Thank you for everyone who commented on my post and your helpful replies.

I ended up finding a town house that i liked and was in my more mid price range allowing me to shave off $200 on my mortage payments had i gone to the top end of my price range.

Its within 15-20 min walking distance to a train station, library and supermarket.

Which is lucky cause 5 days after my offer being accepted, i was in a car accident and my car was written off. I was fortunate that i walked away with minor injuries.

I now on top of going through paperwork for my house have had to put in a insurance claim. Im waiting for the other drivers insurance to hopefully pay me out as the driver admitted to running a red light.

My parents are being great and have helped me by buying small kitchen items to help get me started for my new home. And my dad has been great with the paperwork.

Im nervous about money so im looking for ways to earn extra cash here and there. Im planning on selling a couple of dresses and books online. And im considering doing market research.

Im looking forward to when this is all done with to finally relaxing.

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Lolue, I'm happy about your house purchase but upset about the car accident, let your insurance company negotiate with the other insurance company, then you don't have to worry so much, you will be paid out, it's so unfortunate it's just bad timing for you.

If your dad is good with the paperwork, then you can sign a document or ring up your insurance company, authorising him to act on your behalf, moving into a new house is exciting.

Good luck.