Online Infidelity

[Susan_68]

I discovered by chance that my partner of 20 years had been in online contact with a school friend, where they swapped intimate photos and videos. She lives locally, and also attended places where he worked (he's in the entertainment industry). Whilst he swears there was no physical intimacy, I feel gutted, ugly, undesirable, stupid and so very isolated. I contacted her about it, and she responded by saying she hoped I got some tips from her videos, whilst accepting no responsibility for what's happened. My partner keeps telling me there was never any emotional investment on his part (even though she told him she loved him, and wanted more), and wants to spend the rest of his life with me.  I just don't know where to go to from here. I feel like the biggest fool, and if it was someone else telling this story, I'd tell them to run - fast. It's not that easy when it's yourself.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Susan_68,  We’re sorry to hear what you’ve been through. It sounds like it’s had some very serious impacts on your life, family, relationship and work. We’re glad you could share this here, as our lovely community will have kindness, advice and understanding for you.  It sounds like you could do with talking things through, so please don’t hesitate to give the lovely Beyond Blue counsellors a call on 1300 22 4636 or speak to them on webchat here. You could also speak to Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277.  Thanks again for sharing here. We’re sure you’ll hear from some other community members once they spot your thread. We appreciate your kindness and openness in sharing to the forums, and we hope you can be kind to yourself, too while you’re going through this extremely difficult time.   Kind regards,   Sophie M 

[Susan_68]

Thank you Sophie 🙏

[Pallen]

Hi Susan,

How are you travelling? Have you accessed counselling or further support at this stage?
I am in a similar situation to you after recently  finding out my partner had been exchanging emails of a sexual nature with someone he knows. He also says there was no physical contact, they did not meet up, it was all via email etc. and he did not want to be with her. I’m not sure it makes much difference to me there was no physical contact. Apparently he ended everything months before I found out and does not have contact with her now, however as they work in the same workplace this is hard to believe.

I hope you are doing ok and have found some helpful ways to work through it all.