Lost and alone

Rose9 · ‎08-06-2023

I’ll try to be brief.

Suffer depression, anxiety and multiple health issues. Childhood trauma.
My daughter has not spoken to me in over 5 years, I don’t know why.

My best friend passed away from cancer early last year we were partners in crime for 20+ years. I miss her so much. Traveled to hubbys family last year after funeral, for birthday it did not go well so to avoid putting myself into deeper depression I made the call to leave. No harsh words were said.
Apparently it seams I’m in no longer worth talking to, I don’t know what was said.
I’m so very tired of being the baddie with out knowing why!
So lonely, no friends no family (my side) only hubby and sons family. DIL does not talk to me much, tries to be kind. I’m very thankful for that.
I feel as if it’s not worth being around anymore, I’m not suicidal, as I know it is not the answer, my luck I’d fail and end up worse of…

thank you for taking the time to read.

Dean07 · ‎09-06-2023

Sorry to hear you're feeling down at the moment. Anxiety and depression are just horrible.

I have both of them myself and going through a breakup of a 30 year marriage at the moment.

Finding people you can talk to and mix with has been the best thing I've found for dealing with anxiety and depression. As soon as I feel alone and things aren't going well they both creep back in.

I don't know your situation but is there anywhere near you you could do some volunteering for find a group that has a hobby you may be interested in? Anything new where you can share an activity and meet people is a good place to start.

Well done for coming onto the forum and reaching out.

Rose9 · ‎13-06-2023

Thank you for your time, due to ongoing health issues, I’m not able to go out to often.
As any number of people with ongoing chronic health issues, isolation due to pain and inability to move around lessons the ability to join in with others. The loss of contact with your child affects you so much, this was then compounded by the lost of my best friend.
I understand how important connection to others but at this point I lack the confidence to reach out.

I hope all goes well for you, thank you again for your kindness.

geoff · ‎13-06-2023

Hello Rose9, I am so very sorry your best friend past away from cancer, because not only because of the seriousness of this, but because it has left you to be by yourself now.

When people are suffering from what you have, then most people simply can't understand why we have to be like this, they have no idea, and because of this don't want to be with us, talk to us or accept what type of illness we have, that's the sad part to this illness.

The work between yourself and a counsellor is very important, because slowly it helps you deal and hopefully overcome these problems and to begin with, keep these conversations to yourself, because as soon as you mention them to another person, they may say kind remarks or the complete opposite and that's not what you are ready for at the moment.

It's possible you may develop into another person once you have been able to overcome this, and that's not a bad scenario.

Geoff.

Life Member.

Dean07 · ‎16-06-2023

You may be able to find connections using the technology that we have today that you will be able to access from home. Just like you have with this forum.

I am going through a divorce after a 30 year marriage and feeling a little bit isolated as well. I joined an online men's group which I have found to be fantastic. They meet using Zoom once a week. In these meetings we we can see each other and talk as if were in the same room. The meeting has a moderator who sets the tone and keep control of the meetings. There are rules to follow but these just set the tone. I thought this would be a little bit daunting but after a very short time it's just like meeting friends. It's a men's self improvement group and we talk about all sorts of things that we are dealing with. We can and do contact each other outside of the zoom meetings if we need support or just want a chat.

I don't know what's about but there may be something similar that you could join and feel less isolated because of it.

I hope your week has been okay and that you come back here to connect to people as well.

Rose9 · ‎22-06-2023

I don’t discuss my health issues very much. My hubby tries so heard to help, yet even after 50 years together sometimes he gets frustrated with & by me. I don’t blame him, I can annoy myself.

I have tried to speak to different people, but I always feel as if I never fit in. When working I was useful but never included. So not sure what I can do, I feel as if this is just my life, always been this way.