Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

Gidget72 Needing advice been
  • replies: 9

Hi, I am at a dead end of what to do, the last 5 years of my life have been very tough, I had a injury unable to work but not too bad, I have become depressed on medication for it but dissent seem to work, I was on medication that I blamed for my sui... View more

Hi, I am at a dead end of what to do, the last 5 years of my life have been very tough, I had a injury unable to work but not too bad, I have become depressed on medication for it but dissent seem to work, I was on medication that I blamed for my suicide thoughts but am having them again but not seriously, I haven't been myself which has caused problems with my marriage and it has come to the point I feel I am totally worthless and trying to decide Wether to leave my husband for his sake, he dosent deserve to go through this with me and he needs to be happy, I'm making him feel like crap because I am so withdrawn around him and I fake happiness when I'm around everyone else, should I do him the favour and leave him? I'm at such a loss of what to do, I just feel like I need to disappear for everyone else's happiness, any thoughts or advice? Thanks

KS_OO Fighting narcissist: IVO and Family Court
  • replies: 1

It felt like I had just woken up from a dream after years. Was in a domestic violence relationship that lasted for 8 years and had just finished 2 years of a court battle when I met my current ex. People around me warned me that the guy despite actin... View more

It felt like I had just woken up from a dream after years. Was in a domestic violence relationship that lasted for 8 years and had just finished 2 years of a court battle when I met my current ex. People around me warned me that the guy despite acting decent, was 'no good' but I ignored it. To be honest I was too exhausted to think straight. Little by little, things that I had worked hard to achieve were being taken away: leave that business, you don't have what it takes to make it a success - I did leave it, resign from that job, they are just using you - I did, all these friends of yours, they don't seem to like me, I don't think we should be seeing them too often - reduced friendship to zero, my families are too far from me, and I'm missing them, can't concentrate, I'm only putting up with this country to be there for you and your kids. Wish we can move closer to my family, as you are not close to yours - after months of same persuasion, I did with my own savings, we moved country. Faced bullying and harassment at work: it must be something that you are doing that makes them hates you, try working harder - worked long hours for years till an ambulance had to be called for exhaustion. You cannot further your studies till I have finished any kind of studying I desired to do. You are just dumb, aren't you? Why won't you just die, I don't think the kids need you and so onThen in 2020, I started new friendship with one of the kids' friends' moms and he hated it. He warned me to stop but I refused. After months he started telling me that I have BPD, he tried telling the kids and because they told him off, he started a campaign with families and friends saying that he doesn't know what to do, and his exhausted as he is living with a person with BPD. He will start conversations only and provoke till there is an argument. He will ask me things about his work colleagues, if i disagree with his outlook, it will lead to name calling and screams about things that is not occurring. It was only later that i found out that he had been recording these conversations. Got an IVO, but he always finds a way to convince the police that he hadn't breached it. Withhold child support whenever he feels like it. When the child centre found out about his behaviors, he forced them to cancel child placement. Him and his family told the older kids that everything was their fault. I'm exhausted with legal fees, as I'm financial responsible for the kids, with no family to rely on.

be_yourself I don't want to talk to my ex.
  • replies: 3

I left my ex husband this year. He's been emotionally abusive. He once hit me back in 2020. We have a beautiful children together and they live with me. I chose not to talk to him at all as he's emotionally abusive and very manipulative, compulsive l... View more

I left my ex husband this year. He's been emotionally abusive. He once hit me back in 2020. We have a beautiful children together and they live with me. I chose not to talk to him at all as he's emotionally abusive and very manipulative, compulsive liar. I tried to set up a mediation but he's not willing to do. Now he tried to speak to me over the phone but I refused as I didn't want to hear anything coming out from his mouth and didn't want to be abused. I thought he could just text me if he has anything to say to me. He says that this was a proof of me not to willing to discuss any issues about our children because I refused to speak to him over the phone. I am so feeling sick of him. Mentally shattered. I don't believe that I had to speak to him, did I?!?!?? I am allowed to not to engage with him, aren't I? I don't want to go through this traumatic abuse.

midna_6 Toxic Families
  • replies: 3

Thanks in advance for any advice or suggestions. My husband and I are expecting our first child and are concerned with what will happen moving forward with his immediate family who we’ve gone no contact with.There’s been a lot of issues with them but... View more

Thanks in advance for any advice or suggestions. My husband and I are expecting our first child and are concerned with what will happen moving forward with his immediate family who we’ve gone no contact with.There’s been a lot of issues with them but I’ll try to summarise; his parents heavily medicated him as a child, have a history of mental abuse, fostered and encouraged non appropriate relationships with him and his older brother (the older brother doesn’t see the issue), have actively worked to prevent him reaching his goals, and weaponise themselves and his nieces against him to guilt him into doing what they want (his brother also does the same). My husband had a weed addiction and severe mental health issues which professionals have linked back to his family so he chose to cut them out. They blame me for this, especially since in our early days I would speak out about their behaviour and challenge them about their actions. He has all of them blocked but I haven’t and said that if there’s ever an emergency that they can contact me. We haven’t heard from them directly for almost a year.Now that we are expecting, we know that it won’t be long before we hear from them. We are both unsure about keeping them away completely from d child because we don’t want them to miss out on knowing half their family and lose their only chance at cousins. He is more open to giving them a chance but I have many doubts.Any thoughts?

Gamechanger Why Do I Attract Narcissists and Users?
  • replies: 8

OMG I am sick of people! Everyone comes to me with their problems. They are never there for me! I have just spent two hours on the phone to a supposed friend in WA... he talked about himself and his dramas the entire time! I am having issues with my ... View more

OMG I am sick of people! Everyone comes to me with their problems. They are never there for me! I have just spent two hours on the phone to a supposed friend in WA... he talked about himself and his dramas the entire time! I am having issues with my family as they too are full of themselves and could not care less about me. I am totally sick to death of everyone. I am totally over going out of my way for these idiots. Then I go to work and have to deal with more of them. Rude, ignorant loud mouths. Get back from work and son has made a mess cooking and not cleaned up. Then tells me he is going out drinking with his dipstick so called friend. Every time he does this something goes wrong. The idiot friend is totally crazy and has no idea of being responsible or accountable for his actions I told him I don't want him doing that. He reiterates "I'm 18 I can do what I like". This is the son who is the laziest person I have ever known. Now I am up all night waiting for him to come home. Everyone disrespects me and treats me like dirt and I hate them all. I am the most caring and generous person yet nobody in my life treats me the same. I want never see them again and just live a peaceful life. I feel totally trapped having my son living here. He hates his Dad and has no intention of moving out and being responsible. If it weren't for him I could have a nice apartment; no mortgage; none of this mess and drama everyday. I hate my life. It is awful. I lost two beautiful dogs last year; one in January and one in December. I spent my life savings trying to save them. Losing them killed me. Nobody gave a sh.t. Dogs are my life. People are not. I am strong and I will get over this. I DESERVE to have a happy life.

a_buzz Relationship Advise?
  • replies: 3

Hi all, My name is Ashley and I’m hoping that someone can give me some advice on my current relationship. I will have been with my partner for 3 years in October & I’m trying to figure out if it will last until then or if we will break up. I’m an aff... View more

Hi all, My name is Ashley and I’m hoping that someone can give me some advice on my current relationship. I will have been with my partner for 3 years in October & I’m trying to figure out if it will last until then or if we will break up. I’m an affectionate person, someone who shows feelings, cares for people and shows emotion. Where as my partner does not & also when it comes to stuff in the bedroom, she isn’t as interested as I am for doing stuff together. Also, when it comes to the weekends and I have footy on as I bell out with my club, she doesn’t like me doing that as she feels that I don’t have to be there continuously but sports is something that I’m passionate about. Is she possibly showing signs that she might be losing interest in the relationship or just losing interest in me or have I done something to cause these things to happen? I hope someone can share some advise or feedback. Thanks,a_buzz

J_FL Family Law courts
  • replies: 1

I have been falsely accused of sexually abusing my 2 daughter’s , I had a 9 day trail in the Federal Circuit Court of Australia, The finding were that I did not Sexually Abuse my Daughter’s, I also managed to get an order that she is restrained for t... View more

I have been falsely accused of sexually abusing my 2 daughter’s , I had a 9 day trail in the Federal Circuit Court of Australia, The finding were that I did not Sexually Abuse my Daughter’s, I also managed to get an order that she is restrained for taking my daughter to any centre against Sexual Assault, has anyone else been put through this sort of thing and would like to chat about the broken Family law system

broken88 Don't know what to do.
  • replies: 5

Hi I was hoping for some advice please. I have been the sole carer/companion for my Mum since covid lockdown. I have my own home and life but put it all on hold to be with her. I had a troubled childhood and never felt my Mother loved me, I am one of... View more

Hi I was hoping for some advice please. I have been the sole carer/companion for my Mum since covid lockdown. I have my own home and life but put it all on hold to be with her. I had a troubled childhood and never felt my Mother loved me, I am one of seven and was always treated differently, always got more hits etc. This has damaged me I feel growing up and all I wanted as a close loving relationship with my Mum to undo some of that damage, so I have always been there for her no matter what. Its always been me that mum would come to for help etc, I felt things were so much better and she would visit as would I etc and it was so good but living with her has been difficult. She has always been very able but decided once I moved back in to do nothing, it was a total shock but I took on the sudden roll of becoming full time slave. I had come to her years prior and told her I felt suicidal and had asked for help, she openly turned her back on me and never mentioned it again. That hurt so much and to be honest I cant forgive it because to this day she has still ignores that despite the fact that I bring it up and have told her how bad it made me feel. My Mum is in her early 80s now and I so want and need to be a good Daughter, its all I have ever wanted to be, I thought if I was we would get so close. We were a lot closer before covid and used to travel the World together, having so much fun, always laughing. I think I feel resentment for being thrown into this carer roll and now seeing no hope of her fixing my broken childhood heart. It almost taboo to expect a senior to be accountable for their past let alone your own Mum. How do I heal myself without needing her to see and be sorry for the past, how can I let it all go and except it and move on so I can be a good Daughter and this is not hanging over our heads constantly. Thank you.

Kate65 Lonely and depressed
  • replies: 5

I am lonely and depressed. I am an "older" woman and I am lonely and depressed. I am married but we live separately under the same roof since 2016 because I have meet his son and he hate his son. Don't ask me why but I just wanted to have my own opin... View more

I am lonely and depressed. I am an "older" woman and I am lonely and depressed. I am married but we live separately under the same roof since 2016 because I have meet his son and he hate his son. Don't ask me why but I just wanted to have my own opinion. . We argue all day long and the only quiet time I can have is when I stay in my bedroom with my dog. Sometimes for all day so I stay in my pajamas what the point to dress on? . I do not have family, I do not have friends, my husband , who as a type of mental illness, hate people. We live in a regional area, and I don't have asked for. I don't and can't drive so I rely on him. I was born and raise in another Country and I just have him. I want to go away and he is ok to let me go but financially this is impossible at the moment this is why we share the house. Sometime I want to end all that. What the point to live this nightmare? I am too old for re start again.

Tuppeny My husband is in the later stages of Alzheimer’s
  • replies: 5

Hi My husband is in the later stages of Alzheimer’s. I recently placed him into a home as I have had breast cancer surgery and soon to start on radiation treatment. I have cared for him since he returned from Vietnam with PTSD and high anxiety. He wa... View more

Hi My husband is in the later stages of Alzheimer’s. I recently placed him into a home as I have had breast cancer surgery and soon to start on radiation treatment. I have cared for him since he returned from Vietnam with PTSD and high anxiety. He was an alcoholic, has been sober for 22 years.After a sketchy work history he retired 33 years ago and we were given pensions from DVA. life has had its ups and downs with him. I love and care about him because he’s a human being not because I am in love with him. Love went out of our relationship some 45 plus years ago after the children were born. He thinks that he is coming home when I get well again. He doesn’t really seem to understand about cancer and treatments and insists that he could look after me and himself and I know he can’t do either. My body might repair but I feel that my mind is going to take a lot longer. I’m not used to displaying my feelings or telling someone face to face how I feel. I’ve learnt over the years to be strong and independent and keep how I am feeling to myself. So why do I feel guilty about placing him into a home and when will this guilt go away. I don’t want to talk to him on the phone or in person, It’s the same conversation over and over about when he gets home. He is grabbing at straws to persuade me that he can be at home. Comes up with all sorts of things.He thinks he’s in respite care for a short time while I recover and that’s the way it was suggested for me to handle this. I really want to tell him the truth and I know that one day I will have to. I need to rid myself of this guilt. I know that I am doing the right thing for my own physical and mental health. Being on my own for a few weeks has made me realise how run down I was and how much freedom I now have. Has anyone on here been in a similar situation and can tell me if I will ever wake up one day and not feel bad about what I have done. I keep telling myself that I shouldn’t feel bad after all that’s happened since he returned from Vietnam. Sorry I have rambled on a bit. I tend to write as I think and talk.