Relationship Advise?

[a_buzz]

Hi all,

My name is Ashley and I’m hoping that someone can give me some advice on my current relationship. I will have been with my partner for 3 years in October & I’m trying to figure out if it will last until then or if we will break up.

I’m an affectionate person, someone who shows feelings, cares for people and shows emotion. Where as my partner does not & also when it comes to stuff in the bedroom, she isn’t as interested as I am for doing stuff together. Also, when it comes to the weekends and I have footy on as I bell out with my club, she doesn’t like me doing that as she feels that I don’t have to be there continuously but sports is something that I’m passionate about.

Is she possibly showing signs that she might be losing interest in the relationship or just losing interest in me or have I done something to cause these things to happen?

I hope someone can share some advise or feedback.

Thanks,

a_buzz

[Juliet_84]

Hi Ashley,

I don’t think she’s showing signs of losing interest in you but I think there’s signs developing of some incompatibility there. What would someone who is compatible with you look like, well for example, your partner would also be affectionate or open to you expressing your feelings, and would understand that your sport would be something that’s important to you and either support that or at the very least let you do it with no problems. These obviously aren’t deal breakers provided that she understands and takes your feelings into consideration when you explain this to her. How does she usually react when you try and explain your feelings?

[a_buzz]

Hi Juliet,

When I’ve talked about my feelings before she doesn’t seem to agree with it or she would start to get mad when I’m trying to explain.

For example, I help out with my rugby club doing first aid and running water, but I also do strapping for the senior grades. As my role plays an important part with the club, my partner argues that I don’t need to be at all games and that there are other people that can do it. But sometimes when those people are away, I’m the person that they all rely on. But sports has always been something passionate for me ever since I was little I always wanted to be doing something with sports, weather that be playing or helping out.

[geoff]

Hello Ashley, if your partner doesn't want to do things together with you and complains when you are doing what you love, then problems have begun.

She must have known before you started going out that sport is what you are dedicated to, and now to try and change you, but not doing anything together is totally her problem.

You are passionate about your sports and I'm sure you do a great job in helping out, let alone wanting to watch a game, which again she knew about, and to try and control you and have you stop is not what you want, so I think you have answered your question yourself, I wouldn't allow this to happen.

What would she do if you asked her to stop doing what she likes, she wouldn't pay any attention.

You are entitled to do what you love, because this creates a good mental health.

Geoff.

Life Member.