Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

displayname3 I want to break up with my girlfriend of 2.5years but I don’t have the guts.
  • replies: 2

I love my girlfriend so much but I just can’t see me being with her for the rest of my life as we have so many issues and and I don’t think she’s the one for me. The only problem is I met her at a point in my life when I had 0 friends, wasn’t getting... View more

I love my girlfriend so much but I just can’t see me being with her for the rest of my life as we have so many issues and and I don’t think she’s the one for me. The only problem is I met her at a point in my life when I had 0 friends, wasn’t getting along with my parents and she became my only friend and her family was the family I needed. Since then we have moved in together at my house living separately upstairs above my parents and we go to see her family every weekend. We adopted a cat together just before we moved in together as well. I’m at such a low point in my life that Ive quit all my jobs because the stress was just too much and I’m living off my savings and have no Centrelink or anything. I’m not studying and I have no friends except my girlfriend. I don’t get on well with my parents most of the time except maybe my mum. I’ve stopped playing sports and going to the gym and basically everything else I enjoy. If I was to break up with my girlfriend I would have absolutely nobody. I would lose her, her family, maybe our cat since we wouldn’t wanna try and share a cat. Even if I did keep our cat I would still feel guilty that our cat has lost his mum and he wouldn’t know what happened to her. If we broke up we’d also have to go through the entire ordeal of moving all my girlfriends stuff back to her house and then explaining to her family that I wanted the break up. I know I need to end of the relationship but I’m so terrified of everything that will follow that instead I’ve just been desperately trying to repair how broken our relationship is instead. I feel so trapped and I don’t know what to do.

alice_s Boyfriend’s mum disrespects me
  • replies: 4

I’ve been dating my bf for 7 months. The second time I met his mum, he and his mum talked about our plan to go to see my family in my hometown. Then his mum showed me a bad attitude on her behaviour and words, said it's dangerous there. Asked me to g... View more

I’ve been dating my bf for 7 months. The second time I met his mum, he and his mum talked about our plan to go to see my family in my hometown. Then his mum showed me a bad attitude on her behaviour and words, said it's dangerous there. Asked me to give her everyone in my family addresses and phone numbers. Talked about the news that a man got scammed by a girl from my country and got killed. If I can’t give her info she needs, no one can go anywhere. My bf was mad at her and they argued a bit then he brought me out then we talked about it. I told him that I feel bad that she disrespected my family. However, in the end I just said that it’s fine, I will forget about it as I don’t want to make him feel bad or overthink. After that, I still keep seeing his family as much as I could, but this whole month I’ve been feeling unwell both physically and mentally so I couldn’t get to see his family at all, only asked bf to thank them for inviting and apologise for me for not being able to go. Yesterday he argued with his mum about me not being able to go for dinner with them. His mum said I’m trying to avoid them and asked why he always find a girl like this? Cuz his ex was always avoiding his fam and had conflicts with his mum as far as I know. He told her it's not the same but she wasn’t listening but getting angry, told him if I don’t want to be a part of family then don’t have to invite me anymore.I plan to see them this weekend but after hearing that I don’t feel comfortable seeing her ever again. I told my bf that I won’t go to see his family again since his mum showed me no respect or empathy as a human being especially she knows that I am sick.My mental health is in severe depression. I don’t want to involve myself in any sort of toxic situation. I told my bf that this time she must acknowledge that I am not someone she could cross the line, and she does need to apologise. He promised to talk to her about this.I don’t know if my decision to not see his fam after this is best for our relationship? Or what else can I do? He’s a nice person and I don’t want any other people to ruin our relationship.

Peter8901 What should I do about this?
  • replies: 5

My name is Peter and I'm 22. I have stopped talking to my sister who is 32, we had a fight over text when I called her out on her never making a effort to speak to me or hang out since she moved out of home over a year ago, she ended up blocking me o... View more

My name is Peter and I'm 22. I have stopped talking to my sister who is 32, we had a fight over text when I called her out on her never making a effort to speak to me or hang out since she moved out of home over a year ago, she ended up blocking me on facebook which I found hurtful. I apologised on snapchat and asked her to add me back but she ghosted me. My sister has always been a narcissist and when gets angry at you she tends to be very mean and gets angered quickly, I feel like if I try talk to her she will just remove me again or say something nasty. I feel like the only option I have with her is just unloading how she made me feel even though we were close all our lives it was mostly me looking over and making excuses for her bad behaviour out of my own naivety and love for her. But I feel like if she's gonna block me I may as well get my moneys worth and let my last interaction with her be remembered as the truth of what I think of her now. Should I tell her the truth or try be nice in hopes some rare chance she acts normal and admits some fault? I also stopped talking to my brother. He's 34. We haven't spoken since a family drama involving my parents happened last year. He has a 1 year old daughter and he hasn't once tried to make amends and get me to meet my niece. He still talk to my dad but not me or my mum anymore even tho I had nothing to do with the drama that happened he somehow blamed me for it based on unrelated events that happened 2017 and 2019 where I was getting harrassed by people and when I was having conflicts with the school deputy principal and principal. In conclusion I feel sad and abandoned because I was close with both these people for most of my life. So what would you do in this situation?

-max- I want affection and attention
  • replies: 3

My girlfriend loves me and gives me affection but not a lot and k isn’t know if I’m being selling or she just doesn’t give me enough. I want more I wanna be cuddled and told how much she loves me often and I just don’t get it enough.

My girlfriend loves me and gives me affection but not a lot and k isn’t know if I’m being selling or she just doesn’t give me enough. I want more I wanna be cuddled and told how much she loves me often and I just don’t get it enough.

Guest_7339 Post partum anxiety 13 months after birth
  • replies: 1

My anxiety has spiked and I am easily overwhelmed. My beautiful daughter is fine, everything else in my life is also fine however I have a lot of moments where my anxiety spikes or I am feeling overwhelmed by changes or changes that will happen in th... View more

My anxiety has spiked and I am easily overwhelmed. My beautiful daughter is fine, everything else in my life is also fine however I have a lot of moments where my anxiety spikes or I am feeling overwhelmed by changes or changes that will happen in the future. Any disruption within the family will cause my anxiety to spike quite abit. My heart feels like it'll beat out of my chest. I had a feeling I had PPA during my first year however never really felt it physically and it's just causing me to react to anything. I feel horrible, deep down inside I know nothing is wrong but I cannot shake the feeling off.

CC24 I'm just confused
  • replies: 1

Does anyone else also struggle with depending a lot on others and having a lot of conflicting back and forth thoughts? Especially when it comes to relationship with themselves and others. Recently, I have started feeling and thinking that other peopl... View more

Does anyone else also struggle with depending a lot on others and having a lot of conflicting back and forth thoughts? Especially when it comes to relationship with themselves and others. Recently, I have started feeling and thinking that other people don't care about me. Especially when it comes to my friends. Or that no one is really putting me first. Because I feel as though most of the time, I am the one that always initiates catch ups and things to do and try my best to give others a good time when we do meet up. I am quite shy though. Despite this, many people don't reach out to me first. I can't ignore the feeling of just being cast aside by others. Or feel so disappointed and let down by others. This makes me feel sad for a few moments but then I start telling myself that its healthy if I don't rely on other people to make me happy. Here is were the back and forth really starts. - I want to be loved and really be shown by others that they love me. - I feel ashamed and hate that I am relying on others when I should make myself happy and not care about others.- We are humans and feeling like this is okay because we thrive on social connections. - But I hate that other people have such control over my emotions and I don't want to feel sad and lonely because of them. Etc. Etc. I have conflicting thoughts writing this post right now - This is nothing compared to some of the serious mental health issues others might be going through. - Even small things like this can affect people a lot so I shouldn't be ashamed about this. - But am I making a big deal out of this? Etc. Etc. I am just confused about my own feelings and thoughts. Which side should I listen to. Distraction helps to snap out of these 'moments'. But it has only worked for so long before it catches up to me again. And over time, it catches up sooner. How to approach and address this? Because I am getting sick of it. I had a lot of breakdowns where I feel down about my personality, feeling like I am not good enough for others or even worse compare myself and feel that I am not as great as others. And I really want to snap out it so I can just enjoy my life. Apart from talking to others, are there any other techniques? Because I don't feel comfortable opening up about these issues to other people even if I am close to them.

icecreamspider Struggling with a good friend
  • replies: 1

I seem to have an issue with friends where when i get close enough to them i start to find myself unable to stand them. I start to get uncomfortable around them and regret doing anything with them. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t want to hate t... View more

I seem to have an issue with friends where when i get close enough to them i start to find myself unable to stand them. I start to get uncomfortable around them and regret doing anything with them. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t want to hate these friends because they’re great but right now i just can’t stand being around them. Every time this happens i either leave whatever chat i’m in to distance myself and stop messaging them for a little while, or the friendship will end altogether. This time around i left the chat but after a week the friend seemed upset and told their mum who told mine who talked to me, so i rejoined the group, and am now unable to leave again for fear of upsetting them. I don’t want to hate this person, i get along with them great usually, but now i’m really uncomfortable around them and i’ve even had multiple nightmares centered around them. I don’t know what to do. Can anyone help me?

Twitchywitchy Stuck and lost
  • replies: 1

I have been dating someone for 7 years and have lived together twice. He recently moved out but we were still together. I recently found out he has been on some hookup websites and doing meth behind my back. He has also done this in previous years. H... View more

I have been dating someone for 7 years and have lived together twice. He recently moved out but we were still together. I recently found out he has been on some hookup websites and doing meth behind my back. He has also done this in previous years. He has done alot in 7 years to upset me and lose trust. I was going to break up with him but I'm stuck feeling like I want him to care and want me. He says it was all a mistake and would never act on it.I'm confused, crying alot. I can't eat, I'm doing the bare minimum to take care of my teen daughter. I'm also stressed about my work losing its funding and my job ending. Plus my daughter has major surgery coming up.I don't know what to do. I don't know who to talk to and I don't know how to function anymore. All I do is sit and cry and not eat. I've had to take time off work.

Guest_1584 How to help my d through things and to get started in life ?
  • replies: 6

Hi bb. My d is 21 and has had what l'd say is fairly mild bp , just going on what l've learned of others over the yrs. But the depression , mainly caused through the terrible runs and heartbreak she's had has been just terrible. And every time she's ... View more

Hi bb. My d is 21 and has had what l'd say is fairly mild bp , just going on what l've learned of others over the yrs. But the depression , mainly caused through the terrible runs and heartbreak she's had has been just terrible. And every time she's picked herself up again mths later, something else happens.lt only started coming out a yr or so after leaving school , before that she'd always been a very intelligent and grounded person. But so much has happened since and Covid came a long as well. Terrible and heartbreaking runs with friends and boys and courses closing through Covid, jobs lined up instead closing and on and on. She's also wanted move out for a long time too but then there's been rental shortages and crazy rents when there was something. She finally found something about an hr away moved over and finding her feet, so beautiful to see. She only wanted to get started there and think about courses, direction and stuff and just find her feet. Then the young guy she was sharing had some problems and she's had to move out and back home. After everything else she's been through,she finally gets a start and was bouncing back but now this. She feels lost and hopeless again and it's also really hurt her yet again too he just turned and asked her to move. Poor thing and after everything else. Her confidence and spirits is totally shot again and she hates having to be home again but just doesn't know what to do. Can't get ahead financially enough either and on and on and Mh is slipping again. On the housing front we've said yaknow, everyone bounces to and from home to start and courses or jobs don't turn out to be what you hoped and stuff,boys, the whole lot. Try not to take it to heart you'll find a new situation and get started again. But after everything she's been through now this, l just dk how to help and we're very worried about her. MH clinic has been useless. Also wondering , are there any numbers or helpline suitable for a 21yr where she could just call and talk or get counsel . Her so called MH team have been useless. They don't even ask anything or talk says the only thing they say is you got a job yet , l just mean wt ??? And that's been the same with the both offices she's been involved with. rx

sarah_jess121 Partner broke up with me because of his mental health. Is it right thing to do?
  • replies: 1

Hello amazing people. My partner (27M) was diagnosed with BPD/trauma disorder three months ago - it was a massive eye-opener and confirmed everything I already knew. Our relationship has been going on for 2.5 years now, with many many ups and down. H... View more

Hello amazing people. My partner (27M) was diagnosed with BPD/trauma disorder three months ago - it was a massive eye-opener and confirmed everything I already knew. Our relationship has been going on for 2.5 years now, with many many ups and down. However, for the past 6 months, it has been at an all time low when he had his first mental breakdown and ever since then, his BPD behaviours have been coming out in extremely harmful ways (binge drinking, going M.I.A on me on a night out, unfaithfulness, verbal abuse, physical violence to objects). Overall, my partner is sick of trying to get help (goes to counselling, seen a psychiatrist and signing up for DBT soon) and then keeps stuffing up. He thinks he needs to go through a hard long process of recovery but doesn't feel like trying anymore and doesn't want to bring me down just because he is no consistent. So we both decided the only thing left to do is break up for good. He also says he sees the impact his BPD is having on my mental health more than ever and can't promise he will be better. He is tired of hurting me and cares about me too much to see me cry again. We love each other so so much and when he is stable, he is the best boyfriend in the world. Unfortunately, no one can live in an inconsistent and painful state. So at the end of the month, I am moving out and we will go strictly no contact. I don't want this to happen and apart of me thinks "why can't he just get the help he needs and work hard now so he can be better for us?" but i know that's not easy. What do I do? How am I supposed to go on when I have to let the one person I have loved more than anything go? I didn't just love him, I loved his soul and I saw his pain and traumas, and loved him even more. It feels like there is this third person in the relationship (the incurable mental illness) and we have no control over it. I am absolutely heartbroken.