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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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struggling321 Struggling with a breakup
  • replies: 1

Gday legends, I am really starting to struggle with a break up. My mrs decided 7 days ago to call it quits on us. The reason being she thought my career came first as I did 7 extra days over time I’ve a period of a few weeks. The reason being I wante... View more

Gday legends, I am really starting to struggle with a break up. My mrs decided 7 days ago to call it quits on us. The reason being she thought my career came first as I did 7 extra days over time I’ve a period of a few weeks. The reason being I wanted the time up my sleeve so we could do a road trip to visit our families over Christmas but had this all planned as a surprise that she didn’t know about until after we split, but now she doesn’t know what to say as it feels just like an excuse to her. I fricken love her and am prepared to do anything to make us work out. I’m struggling because I could always message her all day every day, but now I feel I have no one to chat to, I’ve tried to chat to some of my mates but the subject quickly changes. I find myself checking my phone every hour throughout the night hoping for her to agree to work through it. I’m lost as I do not know what to do from here, I’ve never been through this before. I just feel lost, upset and confused. Any help would be really really appreciated. Thanks

Nanny63 Is it wrong to want my done and granddaughter to leave
  • replies: 1

I’m a single women of 60 yrs. My 33 yr old son moved back in with me temporarily 8 months ago after having issues with girlfriend and getting in trouble with law. Approx 5 weeks ago he decided to keep his 19 month baby girl here after a weekend of vi... View more

I’m a single women of 60 yrs. My 33 yr old son moved back in with me temporarily 8 months ago after having issues with girlfriend and getting in trouble with law. Approx 5 weeks ago he decided to keep his 19 month baby girl here after a weekend of visiting as her mother also got into trouble with the law. He had decided that he was going to keep her full time. I agreed at the time that it wasn’t good in her mothers home, but the issue is now, I’m so tired and warn down and I want them both out. We both work full time, but I seem to be doing all the duties of a mother. Ie drop off to day carer, pick up, meals, weekends looking after child (as he works). I just want time for myself and of course my other grandchildren. I actually cried this morning as the grandchild was a little naughty and I’m feeling exhausted. Im not sure what to do, because I do fear for the healthy upbringing of my grand daughter, my son says things like no one cares for her, but him, when I say anything. He won’t do anything about looking at other options even when I say he needs to.

Ms.Me I've been thinking...
  • replies: 5

My older brother recently told me that I think I am better than the family. So, what does one do? I have dragged myself up from the same situation they are in and it was stressful and hard work. It cost me dearly, but it was worth it. I have gained b... View more

My older brother recently told me that I think I am better than the family. So, what does one do? I have dragged myself up from the same situation they are in and it was stressful and hard work. It cost me dearly, but it was worth it. I have gained back my true self which family life stripped from me, and I've tried to help them up from their low existence by showing them the way. If there's a low form of existence, my family is in it. There's having one's path blocked so that one cannot prosper and there's being content to be failures. Can we only blame others for so much and then we have to accept part blame ourselves? I'm wrestling with this question. I think there's winners and losers in life, and winners want it all to themselves and losers aren't fighting back. I realized recently that my ex-in-laws thought themselves better than my family, but over time they have shown themselves to be no better, in fact quite the opposite. I now look down my nose at everybody. How can that be wrong when their every action scrapes the barrel? I tried lifting them out of their mess but they seem to prefer life among the dregs of existence. Who is wrong? How do we approve of actions and lifestyles that are not desirable or respectable. I can only make excuses for them until doing so shows itself to be thoroughly inappropriate. What do you do when fine people are happy to underachieve? To be losers?

idiot-husband Using paid porn
  • replies: 2

I am an idiot. Probably thrown out whole lives together away for the sake of a moment's pleasure. Not trying to absolve myself at all. The fault is entirely on me. I feel so horrible that I have done this to my wife, when years ago we had a discussio... View more

I am an idiot. Probably thrown out whole lives together away for the sake of a moment's pleasure. Not trying to absolve myself at all. The fault is entirely on me. I feel so horrible that I have done this to my wife, when years ago we had a discussion on porn and the message was it would feel like cheating. I went ad did it an now just feel so lost. I can’t even talk to her about how sorry I am, I feel I destroyed all trust in our relationship by doing this. Just so stupid, I love her so much and just hate myself. Just looking for some guidance, but I feel I have ruined everything.

pinklotus27 Relationship Break
  • replies: 1

My partner of nearly five years decided that he wants to take a break. I moved in with him into his unit after a couple of years being together and now he has asked me to move out because he wants to live alone. He does not know if he wants to stay i... View more

My partner of nearly five years decided that he wants to take a break. I moved in with him into his unit after a couple of years being together and now he has asked me to move out because he wants to live alone. He does not know if he wants to stay in a relationship with me. He wants to be alone right now. I know the reason why he decided this and it is partly my fault. I told him that I am going to work on my issues but he does not know if we continue to live together the same issues will keep re-ocurring. I am sad as we have built a life together. We have a pet dog that we have had since she was a puppy. Now that I have moved out I live further away from my job and may need to find a new job. I need to give him the space he wants and respect his decision but I miss him and our home and keep messaging and calling him. I do not want to lose him but I feel like I am.

Summer2022 Problem with trust
  • replies: 1

Hi I'm little over forty my girlfriend is over twenty.. I'm white she is black. Love her a lot..she is saying the same but we are having a problem. Whenever I don't tell her that I was talking with someone she is angry. Is checking my mobile (it neve... View more

Hi I'm little over forty my girlfriend is over twenty.. I'm white she is black. Love her a lot..she is saying the same but we are having a problem. Whenever I don't tell her that I was talking with someone she is angry. Is checking my mobile (it never was a problem to me ) and when she finds sth like texting with someone I didn't tell her is angry. I work..sometimes im busy..and today..like few times before I did not tell her I send few messages to other person. (nothing specific it was just hi how are u, where are u nowadays ) don't know what to do.. How to help this relation. She feels as she wasn't giving me attention with is not true. But can't convinced her that it's not true. I work 8h a day.. I'm busy..some short answers to people who I was making friends with before we started dating mean nothing to me but not to her. I'm confused about it. What to do. I'm buying her presents she is happy but when we have issue she is saying it means nothing cuz I'm not sincere person and she is crossing our all our work on building relation. Heh what to do..

Maddie18 Feeling lonely
  • replies: 1

I had hard time in my high school which completely changed my inner character and my way of looking at like. After that I was okay for a while till i finished my schooling because my family was always there. When I was with my family i didn't need an... View more

I had hard time in my high school which completely changed my inner character and my way of looking at like. After that I was okay for a while till i finished my schooling because my family was always there. When I was with my family i didn't need anything more. But because of my family situation my parents had to send me away. So they sent me to new country. I had no one here. First time being out in the world without my family by my side it was really hard. After high school insident i learned never to get close with any human. So in abroad I had hard time believing anyone and getting close with anyone. So I went into depression. But i couldn't go back to my country to be with my family because they said they had to keep me away safe. I was in a difficult phase where all I needed was love but I just had hard time believing people and get close with them.Around that time I started working and met a guy there slowly we became very good friends. He started to learn about my past slowly but he was always there. Through him I met lot of other friends. Slowly I started feeling like my old self and started accepting new people into my life. Had a best two years of my life. But eventually he started having feelings for me. But i couldn't see him more than a friend. But when he had hard time seeing me just as a friend, I can see that he went into depression. So I had to move away from him to give him better life. We decided to stop contacting eachother.After that slowly all my friends decided to take his side. So I was alone again. Slowly went into different phase again having hard time moving on with life. All my old characters and from when I moved to New country came back again. Now I feel like I don't have purpose for life. All I am doing is living another day for my family because they can't live without me. And if I am gone all their hard work of send me away to keep me safe will be wasted. But I am having hard time living everyday.

EyesofIllusion Uncharted Waters
  • replies: 3

I was never raised with my fathers family due to divorce, I did not have a relationship with my father until I was 40. While I accept that my Dad is a little unusual to most, hes mine and I love him for who he is. There was a death in his family and ... View more

I was never raised with my fathers family due to divorce, I did not have a relationship with my father until I was 40. While I accept that my Dad is a little unusual to most, hes mine and I love him for who he is. There was a death in his family and as I result I reached out to an Uncle who has literally been 'Missing' for 20 odd years. I don't know what a 'normal' relationship looks like in regards to family. I have uncles I have been raised with and this feels incredibly different. Is any one able to guide me, help me navigate a healthy relationship. I am too embarrassed to talk about this to any one, even my therapist. Thank you.

Blake_02 My best friend hates me..
  • replies: 1

So this could be a bit confusing..it started at the start of the school year.. my friend who i will call Jason, came into our first period class a bit late as he was new to the school. the teacher asked who could take him in and be his mate or whatev... View more

So this could be a bit confusing..it started at the start of the school year.. my friend who i will call Jason, came into our first period class a bit late as he was new to the school. the teacher asked who could take him in and be his mate or whatever it was she said, after what felt like 5-10 seconds and nobody put their hand up, i raised mine. we got to talking and had a fair bit in common. we started hanging out at lunch and we turned into best mates. we hung out after school and all sorts of stuff. now about 7 weeks ago, he started getting a bit distant, i asked him if he was okay and i just made sure i was keeping him happy at all times, its what mates do.. turns out he wasn't okay, his crush rejected him, his crush was MY crush's friend. he then started to assume stuff about my crush, i got a little frustrated with him because what he said wasnt okay, especially since he barley knew her. i ended up apologising for getting angry at him and we were back to normal, at least that's what i thought.. he sent me a text the same night telling me he didnt want to sit with me anymore, i replied asking why, he read it but never responded and i asked him personally at school, he ignored me and walked away. i dont know what to do about this, since i thought it would blow over, it hasn't.

Bluepearl3 Feeling lonely and helpless.
  • replies: 6

It is hard to know exactly where to start. I am 69 years old and live alone, with my little dog, in an over 50 community. Two months ago I took my last anti-depressant after being on them for 35 years. (I weaned off them over a two month period.) I f... View more

It is hard to know exactly where to start. I am 69 years old and live alone, with my little dog, in an over 50 community. Two months ago I took my last anti-depressant after being on them for 35 years. (I weaned off them over a two month period.) I found that whilst i was taking them I continued to feel sad, depressed and hopeless, but with an added fogginess of my brain. I am clearer thinking now, but still feeling sad and hopeless. I left my 46 year marriage in July last year after many years of mental and emotional abuse. There must have been some good times but I mainly remember the hurtful times. He was controlling, narcissistic and selfish. There was a particular set of circumstances and events that occurred in 1981/1982 which have left lasting scars on my heart and mind. I have never been able to put these events behind me and therefore lost respect for my husband. There were many more incidents over the next 40years. His answer would always be "stop living in the past", usually in an angry tone. In later years I did manage to leave a few times but always went back to him, as he begged me to forgive him and promised to change. A few weeks down the track and things were just as they had been. We have 2 sons, now in their 40's and 4 grandchildren. I didn't want to break up the family, especially for the grandchildren. My sons have their own problems now. The eldest has gambling and anger issues. Often borrowing money from me, although we do have a close relationship. He seldom pays back what he borrows. The youngest, aged 41, is divorced and has four children, aged from 12 years to 19 years. He has issues with gambling and alcohol. He lives 90 minutes from the children and never sees them as he states that he has to work 6 days a week and can't take time off. He earns an extremely good wage due to overtime but still borrows from me and seldom pays me back. (I am on the age pension and have a limited amount of savings in the bank). I will be looking for work in the New Year. The children's Mother smokes cigarettes and drinks alcohol but can't afford to buy the children's necessities. The children send messages to my son asking for money to buy clothes etc and he sends them back a message saying ask your Mother. He pays $800 child support but the children seem to live just above the poverty line. He will block them if they continue to text him for things. I feel so guilty and sad.