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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Dragonfly_01 Neighbour Noise
  • replies: 2

Hi,I haven't posted before. Feel like I am going to shatter into tiny pieces. I am a quiet person in my early 60s and live on my own. I have been having issues with the people in the house behind me since I bought my house 15 years ago. They like to ... View more

Hi,I haven't posted before. Feel like I am going to shatter into tiny pieces. I am a quiet person in my early 60s and live on my own. I have been having issues with the people in the house behind me since I bought my house 15 years ago. They like to play their music loud and the bass beat is inescapable. They also tend to attract a lot of like-minded people and enjoy large loud gatherings in their backyard which might as well be in my house as my thin fibro walls are no defence against it. It wouldn't bother some people, I know, but it does me. It feels like they are denying my right to exist, that my needs don't count for anything which leads me to feel angry but also sad and pathetic. I have tried to resolve it both directly and through the housing organisation which leases the house to them. It works for a while but then it gradually just ramps back up again. I really want to develop some mental resources to not let it get to me so badly as I suspect it will always be an issue. I have tried practical things like earplugs and headphones which work for a while but I want to enjoy my house and garden and not have to block out birdsong and other nature sounds and feel totally cut off. I would welcome any suggestions for reconfiguring my brain/thought processes so that their noise doesn't bother me so much. Thanks.

Monkey444 Technology and friendships
  • replies: 2

I’d like everyone to get along I think. I am always lacking good relationships. I can’t help but being immature and childish when I get stressed, experience rejection or don’t get what I want.How can I be my best self when I’m frustrated all hours of... View more

I’d like everyone to get along I think. I am always lacking good relationships. I can’t help but being immature and childish when I get stressed, experience rejection or don’t get what I want.How can I be my best self when I’m frustrated all hours of the day. I’m venting, don’t know if this makes any sense. I think so often that at this point I can’t even understand my thinking. Why is so much of my life so unpleasant ??

belldrops Constantly worrying about my boyfriend losing interest
  • replies: 2

I’ve been with my boyfriend about 4 months (we are in a distance relationship, just under an 2 hour drive apart) and I noticed early on that I am quite anxiously attached. I worry that as time goes on, he is realising my insecurity and I’m projecting... View more

I’ve been with my boyfriend about 4 months (we are in a distance relationship, just under an 2 hour drive apart) and I noticed early on that I am quite anxiously attached. I worry that as time goes on, he is realising my insecurity and I’m projecting that onto him, which naturally is a turn off for guys if they can sense you are too over invested or dependent on them. At the beginning, I didn’t feel as anxious as I could feel his interest in me, whereas now I feel the energy has switched and I am the one chasing him. I am terrified of being clingy as I know this will only drive him further away. I hear all the time that fear of rejection is a self fulfilling prophecy as it causes you to act in a way that usually does end up driving your partner away, and I’m terrified that is what I’m doing and perhaps it’s too late to fix it. Last week he didn’t message me for 3 days, which is unusual. I reached out and he apologised for not communicating. When I saw him in person on the weekend, he bought it up and again apologised. I told him that I would like us to text a bit more regularly as it helps me feel more connected to him, which he agreed to. He said that he can’t really understand himself or articulate why he isn’t motivated to reach out - he said that he is generally quite exhausted from work as he is now working a lot, as well as with the distance he can get caught up in just doing his own thing. I then got into a rabbit hole of reading our earlier messages from the first month or two of us dating, and he used to reach out all the time, and it was playful and fun. I feel like we have lost that in our messaging, and I don’t know if that’s a natural progression of a relationship or if it’s a sign he is losing interest. I asked him directly if him not wanting to message me as much is related to his feelings for me changing, and he said no, that’s not it at all. But I can’t help but compare to our earlier text messages, and think that if he liked me, he should want to reach out and talk to me. I’m just so worried that I am self sabotaging the relationship with my fears and insecurity. He is a great, kind guy and I wish I could just enjoy it rather than be constantly obsessing and worrying

nesl Marriage
  • replies: 1

me, and my wife we are trying to work this relationship. I have recently lost my job. About five months ago. We had a opportunity to find another house together she turned it down. We put ourselves in a spot where we have to live at my mums or our sa... View more

me, and my wife we are trying to work this relationship. I have recently lost my job. About five months ago. We had a opportunity to find another house together she turned it down. We put ourselves in a spot where we have to live at my mums or our savings went when it come to movie when trying to save at my mums. It all goes up why we couldn't save or pay rent properly. We can talk about this one then I got kicked out. I felt unfair because I was hoping to have at least notice our place to find my wife went to her mums. After a week I felt my emotion I was sharing with my wife. She didn't want to listen I got angry for feeling unloved. I asked for divorce, but the next day I regretted it. She took me back, but when I saw her, her mum disagrees with me a lot and when I tried to convince her, I'm not that person she somehow hurts my feelings I feel my mother-in-law might be toxic towards our relationship. There are new changes. My wife is taking because of listening to her. It makes my truss go at the door , my love for her is strong, but I feel she's not honest properly. I need help for helping us resolve our feelings to one of each other work out some of our faults in the past to improve our relationship

ecarg I don't know if I really am suffering from a mental health problem
  • replies: 1

I have been going through my parents divorce since I was in priamry school and im currently in highschool and almost finished yr 12. being the oldest child ive been pulled into the fighting, and also my mum or dad talking about the other to me. also ... View more

I have been going through my parents divorce since I was in priamry school and im currently in highschool and almost finished yr 12. being the oldest child ive been pulled into the fighting, and also my mum or dad talking about the other to me. also at school i dont really know where i sit anymore. my old friends think that ive been useing them to sit there ever since i started sitting with other people. i feel like all my friends talk behind my back and now they are just telling me that they have been. everything has been piling up on me recently and i dont know what to do bc i dont want to talk to my parernts about it and i cant talk about it to my friends. my old friends make me feel so bad and self consious. i dont really know if i want to post this publicly bc i dont want them to find out ever. i dont think i am suffering from a mental health problem but i just wish someone could understand and actually listen without going and telling someone else.

_Jay_24 Heart broken - just want to heal
  • replies: 10

Today I accepted my partner's choice to give up on us. We tried over the last 12 months and many similar breakup scenarios in the past but today I really have to let this go. And while I know things may be better in the long run, I should breathe and... View more

Today I accepted my partner's choice to give up on us. We tried over the last 12 months and many similar breakup scenarios in the past but today I really have to let this go. And while I know things may be better in the long run, I should breathe and learn from this event, it still hurts so much. I don't know what to do with this pain. I don't have family and my friends are her friends as well and I am not really someone who opens up so I don't have close friends. My partner sort of fulfilled my needs for others so it didn't matter and now I feel isolated (my own doing) and I feel at a loss. I am trying to be strong and I know this is not unique to me and millions of people go through break up every day. I have no one to talk through this and I simply cannot sleep. To realise that I was not enough for the person I loved unconditionally is breaking my heart.

GreenEgg Feeling lonely and like I’ll never have a proper connection with someone
  • replies: 3

Hi I’m feeling sad but a bit resigned too, not too sad. Like I knew this would be the case all along and it’s happening. I’ve always struggled to make friends, and with the friends I do have I feel like a boring burden. Like I know they have chats an... View more

Hi I’m feeling sad but a bit resigned too, not too sad. Like I knew this would be the case all along and it’s happening. I’ve always struggled to make friends, and with the friends I do have I feel like a boring burden. Like I know they have chats and things without me. Anyway, I guess I feel like there’s nothing to like about me and more that I’m just not capable of connecting with people. It’s not just friendships, I’ve never had a relationship and even though I have a large family I rarely talk to them. I’m not connected to my nieces. I just realised today too that I’m in perimenopause and likely to go into menopause extremely early. I’ve suspected it for a while but drs didn’t take me seriously because of my age. So I ordered my own tests and they show it’s the case plus some autoimmune conditions. I feel a bit upset about it. anyway, does anyone else struggle to make connections? Even when it seems like you’ve got people around you? How do you work on it?

atreljjj Should I leave with 3 kids
  • replies: 3

My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years next month, we have 2 children together I had 1 child before we met, whom he adores and tells everyone he knows that she is his, which is one of the reasons I married him, he is very much a materi... View more

My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years next month, we have 2 children together I had 1 child before we met, whom he adores and tells everyone he knows that she is his, which is one of the reasons I married him, he is very much a materialist, and I am careless, and very forgetful I have to keep replaying my drivers license because I swear it has legs, long story short, he buys the kids clothes and god forbid if I loose it at daycare he’s furious, I have lost gold he has given me, I have lost car keys many times, thankfully he always keep the spare, I have lost a brand new blanket, I have lost money that was literally in my hand, I have even lost my wedding band, all these things I have lost, I’m wreckless and careless, I can admit that I take full responsibility, but the thing is, all these things can be replaced, more money can easily be made, but his reaction and what he’s says when I loose things is driving me to negative thoughts. He tells me I’m useless, I’m worthless, I’m a bad mother, I don’t deserve a single tear at my funeral, he can do soo much better on his own, I’m not needed in this house, I’m not even wanted in this house and many more, I work soo hard I have a full time which may I add is quite physical I work mon-Friday 8-5 but I get up early and get all 3 kids ready as they are all under 5, I get them to daycare, I go to my job, I pick them up, I feed them all, shower them all, try to shower myself but it’s never peaceful, I do all the laundry, I cook our dinner, and I repeat, the weekends I get up for the kids make their breakfast change them drive us to do whatever unload all the kids unload our shopping put it all away and still it is not good enough, he always has something to complain about, weather it’s the kids but it’s mostly me, he constantly brings me down, tells me daily look how beautiful this lady is (someone on tv) I heard it maybe 3 times since we’ve been together, he tells me he can make it better than me when I’ve cooked dinner, he tells me he cleans it better, which he does because I take the kids so he can clean, but when I clean I have to hold the kids as well, here’s the kicker, when I had our first kid not even an hour old while I’m still in a pool of my own bl**d he asks if he can go home, seriously, then our second kids I had to beg him to pick us up from the hospital I wasn’t worth the 30mins travel after giving birth to his child, that should have been my que to leave, I knew then I wasn’t truly worth it, but because of them I fought everyday to make it work, now I’m just depressed every day, he doesn’t listen to what I have to say and i drive for a living and I recently scared myself, but I’m still here to fight another day, any advice on what to do? I feel I need professional help

Lorenth210 Partner has gambling addiction
  • replies: 17

Hi there, it's my first post. I suspect that my partner has a sport betting/gambling addiction. He's taking loans behind my back and has multiple apps that let you make sport bets. I don't know what to do, when I confronted him he keeps denying every... View more

Hi there, it's my first post. I suspect that my partner has a sport betting/gambling addiction. He's taking loans behind my back and has multiple apps that let you make sport bets. I don't know what to do, when I confronted him he keeps denying everything. Am I making this up? I saw what I saw. Do I leave? Do I help him? I am so lost and lonely.

Gossamerose What now?
  • replies: 11

I've had to deal with a lot in my marriage and now I feel like it's all to much! I'm a quiet introvert and I avoid confrontation at any cost and I'm not sure if I'm thinking straight. My hubby went to work wearing design underware and came home weari... View more

I've had to deal with a lot in my marriage and now I feel like it's all to much! I'm a quiet introvert and I avoid confrontation at any cost and I'm not sure if I'm thinking straight. My hubby went to work wearing design underware and came home wearing a different pair. Then hid the design pair in the kids bathroom. I noticed he took the spare pair with him that morning and thought it strange so I paid attention when he arrived home that evening. Yes I did ask him and he said (Quote: II could have changed because of diarrhoea or something. Then proceeded to tell me I was imagining things.I don't trust him any more, what do others think?

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