Relationship and family issues

Been feeling lonely

replies: 1

Hi so I've had family issues from 15yr old my family dad wasn't the best teaching me skills I had to learn myself dad got marry 3 times my real mum suide when I was 3 my sis was 9 second step mum abused me but they divorced I left home at 15 I'm not ... View more

Hi so I've had family issues from 15yr old my family dad wasn't the best teaching me skills I had to learn myself dad got marry 3 times my real mum suide when I was 3 my sis was 9 second step mum abused me but they divorced I left home at 15 I'm not sure if it's a faze but things are getting to me I'm have 2 one she's 28 nearly married and 16yr boy I'm regretting now that I didn't have another baby close age as my son has mental health cognitive imparment ODD /ADHA since 12 it started till now I've moved mountain to get help from phys to dulea but was always up to him as ODD there's no residential treatment in Australia only oversea but always up to him so put all my focus on him so now is in jail one month now he sees phsy and others because by force then I had to put my dog down of 16yrs 2 Month's ago so now I'm 47 been struggling if I had one close would it be different been on drugs most of my life that's why I put off having another due to him sick in hospital but now it's haunting me am I going through menopause I'm getting depression again I see family's with kids makes me sad it's hitting me hard now how can I cope I don't go anywhere how can I stop regrets

problem with marriage

replies: 1

I'm 45 and my wife is 41, we've married since 2018. My wife lost one of her ovary during surgical complication and she had another surgery on her other ovary hence there's little left. Based on the above issues she no longer interest with sex and I u... View more

I'm 45 and my wife is 41, we've married since 2018. My wife lost one of her ovary during surgical complication and she had another surgery on her other ovary hence there's little left. Based on the above issues she no longer interest with sex and I understand. We tried IVF (only her family know about it, I cannot discuss to anyone but my boss as my wife believe my parents will tell everyone) and finally succeeded two years ago, we love our daughter but I was overwhelmed with chores (some of her demands can be tedious, laborious and illogical but I still have to do it), feeling undervalue as I no longer believe I mean much to my wife and frustrated when my daughter cried for mommy ever I'm next to her. She wanted to go for another IVF but her age making it ever more difficult (even the IVF specialist believed the previous one to be a miracle), I supported her decision as I won't deny her right, however I worry and fear for a few years of fruitless journey. I'm getting more frustrated with the lack of sex life recently and she finally agreed on Sunday night, the entire experience was dreadful, turning her back on me and playing with cell phone, showing me videos of a jealous husband toward his daughter and laughed (I do not found it funny), and I still remembered looking at her disgusting dark blue sweater. The event felt like I'm dying on thirst and begged her for water, she poured the water on the floor and I licked the floor as I'm dying on thirst. I'm currently experiencing signs of depressions (I had depression since high school hence "hello darkness my old friend, I come to visit you again") including shutting myself to her (I no longer want to look and talk to her since Sunday, she didn't understand why and I can't be bothered to explain to her as I already know the outcome), lack of energy and motivation (tired), don't want to leave the bed but have to as my office is my last sanctuary (I don't want to know what's my plan on weekend) with minor tears (my previous depression involved uncontrol crying for every 4 hours and I certainly don't want to happen again).

Single Fatherhood

replies: 3

Anyone other single fathers lived through co-raising a child with a reasonably intelligent, manipulative, superficially engaged but covertly resentful, sabotaging and destructive mother very good at duping school staff and assorted people into believ... View more

Anyone other single fathers lived through co-raising a child with a reasonably intelligent, manipulative, superficially engaged but covertly resentful, sabotaging and destructive mother very good at duping school staff and assorted people into believing they are wonderful and you are sullen? It really, really sucks. I don’t have any pressing issue right now but the effect of going through this has left me mistrustful, unwilling to be alone with any female and rather socially isolated. I wonder if there’s other single fathers who feel this way.

Spouse with addiction

replies: 1

My husband has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. He has a porn addiction and has had for many years. The porn doesn’t bother me, it’s the messaging of other women sending photos etc that does. I tried to get onboard a few years ago and was joining i... View more

My husband has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. He has a porn addiction and has had for many years. The porn doesn’t bother me, it’s the messaging of other women sending photos etc that does. I tried to get onboard a few years ago and was joining in with him but I didn’t like the time it was taking from us. he agreed to stop, but then found out later he was still messaging said gym friend on a different social media platform and was deleting everything so I wouldn’t find it. we had some time apart and have been working hard on fixing things. he acknowledged this was out of his control because of the ADHD (not medicated yet). But I’ve recent had a feeling something was off. I’ve since found he has an only fan account and a secret email address. I also think he has a seperate messenger account but I have no prof of him sending messages as I can’t access the actual content. I don’t know how to approach the subject because I was snooping through his devices which isn’t right. Even if I do approach him he will bluntly lie. Is this normal behaviour for ADHD? Should I just let it go. I don’t want to break our family up we have 2 kids that dote on him. this is giving me so much anxiety, I don’t sleep, and just don’t feel happy like I use to. I don’t know what to do. I love him but not the addiction.

my brother is making me feel guilty because I am not in debt like he is

replies: 7

I live with my mother. I'm on a DSP, pay my own way as much as possible (board, petrol, bills, private health cover). Mum and I have a mutual agreement that I help out as much as I can with finances. But recently I've had some problems with my brothe... View more

I live with my mother. I'm on a DSP, pay my own way as much as possible (board, petrol, bills, private health cover). Mum and I have a mutual agreement that I help out as much as I can with finances. But recently I've had some problems with my brother. Every phone call he now rubs it in that he has a mortgage. He and his wife have a history of wasting money. Several years my dad passed away and we forwarded him a copy of the will, which includes a provision for a reasonable dwelling for me, because I've been unemployed for the past 20 or so years to my head injury. I often come off the phone exhausted listening to his sympathy act. Basically he wants mum's money now to help pay off his mortgage. Because he knows I help make the decisions regarding mum's finances, he now gets in my ear every chance he gets to try and guilt me into helping him out. Bear in mind that the last 2 years mum had bladder cancer, so he times his "jokes" well. Upon telling my mum this, she just gets so mad and despondent, that she is a complete emotional mess. Am I taking things too personal? Don't most people his age (51) have a mortgage if they want to own a home? My opinion is that it is sheer jealousy but I've had other struggles in life too, besides financial ones. Like trying to rehabilitate myself after a frontal lobe brain injury, surviving depression and alcoholism, looking after dad when he died, looking after mum when she had cancer, and grief. I'm interested to know other people's thoughts.

Living with Parents after marriage

replies: 1

My girlfriend and I are currently in Australia and my parents are in India. We have been dating from past 17 months and have hit the deadlock about the future scenarios. I used to have an elder brother but he passed away in 2011. Since then I am the ... View more

My girlfriend and I are currently in Australia and my parents are in India. We have been dating from past 17 months and have hit the deadlock about the future scenarios. I used to have an elder brother but he passed away in 2011. Since then I am the only child . I moved to Australia in 2016 and been here since then. My current girl friend has a condition that she would not be comfortable to live with my parents after marriage in any scenario. She expects me to handle my responsibilities towards my parents separately and does not wish you be part of that. The challenge is that : I am not rich enough to have a separate house in Australia for my parents, pay for their Permanent visa and pay for their household expenses and medical expenses all on my own .My girl friend though she is also originally from India says that she cannot move back to india as she would not have the same professional opportunities and hence we moving back to India where I could afford to handle this situation is also not an option. She is also not fine If I go to india to handle an emergency situation as she believes there is no definite window when I could return as the oldage scenario could be tricky. My parenst do not have anyone to fallback to in an emergency situation She keeps insisting that I talk to someone who is older than me and in a similar situation who can advice how I can handle this situation.

Overwhelmed

replies: 1

Hi, first time posting. I have 4 kids with the oldest 2 (13 and 15) currently unable to even be in the same room with each other. Husband of almost 18 yrs refuses to seek any help for himself despite me asking for the last 2-3 years, has no real rela... View more

Hi, first time posting. I have 4 kids with the oldest 2 (13 and 15) currently unable to even be in the same room with each other. Husband of almost 18 yrs refuses to seek any help for himself despite me asking for the last 2-3 years, has no real relationship with his sons (the 13 and 15 yr olds) and has never had help to deal with his own parents death at the age of 21 and 23. I do all the appointments for the children (paediatricians, psychologists, OT etc (11yr old daughter has Autism and school refusal for last 18m-2 yrs)). He is always too busy despite the 15 yr old begging him in tears to teach him how to be a man and saying he doesn’t show any emotion other than happiness or anger. He’s taken off his wedding ring 3-4 times in the last few years and thrown it at me telling me to “deal with them” (meaning the kids) when I have asked him to walk away because his behaviour has escalated into yelling and recently trying to physically remove the 15 yr old from the room. I work pretty much full time (as does he) but I am the one who gives up my days to attend appointments/parent teacher meetings etc even though I don’t get paid sick/holiday pay. Our family is at breaking point and I can’t keep doing everything to hold everything together.

Almost 40, Single, Living with parents, no kids, no savings, NO HOPE

replies: 9

So I'm 2 years off 40, I live with my parents (having moved back in after elective surgery 1.5years ago), I own a car (given to me by my parents after I was in a car accident), I have no savings (having been unemployed for a couple of years because p... View more

So I'm 2 years off 40, I live with my parents (having moved back in after elective surgery 1.5years ago), I own a car (given to me by my parents after I was in a car accident), I have no savings (having been unemployed for a couple of years because people see my age and ASSUME i'm going to get pregnant and leave and yes several people said that to my face in interviews), I'm single and I've never had kids (not by choice but because I've never met anyone who actually likes me). I'm trying my best to think of new goals for a new future as a person who can't have kids or is never going to have a family of their own. I look at housing sites and realise I will NEVER be able to afford my own home and because I have a dog (one of my sole reason's for living) I can't even find a house to rent (no pets allowed). I have a job now but it's just another boring run of the mill jobs, not that I had any choice in trying to find something that I would actually enjoy doing after looking for so long. I feel useless and worthless and can't see any purpose to life and living if no matter what I do I can't change where I am. I'm really trying to think my way out of this but I can't even find joy in the little things anymore like walking the dog or going to the movies. I was trying to organise a holiday with a friend for New Years and I was getting excited until I looked at my budget and realised I can't afford it. I started seeing an IVF specialist thinking it would be my last shot for a family, but I can't afford the treatment either. So my question, I guess, is what do I do now? How do you look to the future through a sad, old and lonely spinsters lens? I feel like I understand why so many women drink at this age but I've just had surgery to lose 45kg and that's the only goal I've managed to achieve in the last 7 years. Am I just lonely? Or just depressed? Or just grieving at the loss of my youth? I feel like I'm grieving over the loss of a future self; the self I've imagined for so long, the person I was always excited to become and realising I am the COMPLETE opposite of that image and it is too late to change. I read somewhere the other day that we should define ourselves by the experiences we want in the world. Well I feel like the only experiences I want are ones that involve other people but they are the experiences that have eluded my for almost 40years. Sorry for rambling, got any advice?

Had a fight with friend, now has mental illness and self harms (14 years old)

replies: 1

This all started last year. I told someone who I thought was a friend (let's just pretend she's called Sally. that's not her real name) that I had been left out of the friend group, and how I felt really angry and worried and sad a lot of the time. I... View more

This all started last year. I told someone who I thought was a friend (let's just pretend she's called Sally. that's not her real name) that I had been left out of the friend group, and how I felt really angry and worried and sad a lot of the time. I also told her that I think had anxiety and depression. Sally told me (I quote) "Lots of people have depression, stop trying to act special something. (This was last year) I stopped sitting with the friend group for the rest of the year, but eventually, Sally apologised. I forgave her and started sitting with the friend group again in school. The other friends slowly started talking to me again, and everything was fine, until one of my friend's birthday parties. I wasn't eating at all, and not talking to the others. Sally messaged me at night while we were winding down to sleep. She said something like "Are you ok? I noticed that you're not eating, and when you do, you go to the bathroom straight after. I'm worried you're vomiting up your food (which I was). I told her about how I barely ate, and stuff, and she supported me. Anyway, about half an hour later, I saw one of my friends (let's call her Jane) messaging Sally. Sally was asking why they even invited her [me] She was not talking she was so annoying" The next day I messaged Sally saying I saw her messaging Jane about me. I also told her some private stuff that I do at times(which I honestly shouldn't have, but I just wanted to tell her and make her leave me alone. She then told all our friends about it as well as her mother, who told my mum. I then forgave her again, because I'm a people pleaser. Then once I asked her if we could talk. I sent her a long message telling her how I felt, and she said, "everyone knew you did that, so I told them anyway, and you've left the group so many times I don't care about you anymore". I said "maybe you should think about why I've left the group. its because of you. you're the one who made me do that" and she told me to stop acting like a child. i honestly don't know what to do anymore.

My mum is preparing to divorce my verbally abusive dad

replies: 6

I’m 19 and after years of witnessing my dad verbally and emotionally abuse my mum, she has finally agreed to start the process of divorce. I’m just looking for some support and advice. I’m just worried that my dad will get more violent when she files... View more

I’m 19 and after years of witnessing my dad verbally and emotionally abuse my mum, she has finally agreed to start the process of divorce. I’m just looking for some support and advice. I’m just worried that my dad will get more violent when she files the divorce and that he won’t stop harassing us. I’m also worried about him breaking all our things before property and items can be divided. I’m so glad that my mum is finally ready to take this step but I’m just afraid of how bad it’s going to get before we can leave.

Pinned discussions

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

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All discussions

Been feeling lonely

replies: 1

problem with marriage

replies: 1

Single Fatherhood

replies: 3

Spouse with addiction

replies: 1

my brother is making me feel guilty because I am not in debt like he is

replies: 7

Living with Parents after marriage

replies: 1

Overwhelmed

replies: 1

Almost 40, Single, Living with parents, no kids, no savings, NO HOPE

replies: 9

Had a fight with friend, now has mental illness and self harms (14 years old)

replies: 1

My mum is preparing to divorce my verbally abusive dad

replies: 6

Relationship and family issues

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about replies: 0

Been feeling lonely replies: 1

problem with marriage replies: 1

Single Fatherhood replies: 3

Spouse with addiction replies: 1

my brother is making me feel guilty because I am not in debt like he is replies: 7

Living with Parents after marriage replies: 1

Overwhelmed replies: 1

Almost 40, Single, Living with parents, no kids, no savings, NO HOPE replies: 9

Had a fight with friend, now has mental illness and self harms (14 years old) replies: 1

My mum is preparing to divorce my verbally abusive dad replies: 6

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

replies: 0

Been feeling lonely

replies: 1

problem with marriage

replies: 1

Single Fatherhood

replies: 3

Spouse with addiction

replies: 1

my brother is making me feel guilty because I am not in debt like he is

replies: 7

Living with Parents after marriage

replies: 1

Overwhelmed

replies: 1

Almost 40, Single, Living with parents, no kids, no savings, NO HOPE

replies: 9

Had a fight with friend, now has mental illness and self harms (14 years old)

replies: 1

My mum is preparing to divorce my verbally abusive dad

replies: 6