Im so crippling lonely but noone knows as I physically can't express t

[Jacobi1911]

I'm a fairly successful young man, on a board of directors for an award, finished a trade, have my own business, do powerlifting comps, etc. I get told by nearly every female friend I have how great I would be as a partner (if you want to be narky and say I have the ego the size of a mountain go for it I'm just saying what people say, your interpretation is your own) people generally say including family and my therapist I'm a very successful young man (very early 20s) but yet I see people who aren't going anywhere just bounce from relationship to relationship with no issues yet I cannot even muster the ability to do anything other than a quick shag and never talk again. I feel like a defective human anytime I find a girl who I think I'd actually connect with I get my emotions shoved back in my face and everytime I have meaningless sex as a way to just interact with another human I feel as if I'm stripping away parts of myself. What the hell is wrong with me why can I not do something so basic and instinctive to most people when I've done things I'n the past that most people would never do let alone even get the chsnce too. People say "just wait the right one will come" (mostly from female friends) and In my mind I'm like easy for you to say you atleast have a more than likely chance when approaching a guy and barely ever would you get laughed at a shamed for it let alone even turned down. And its like man I'm allowed to want companionship, Ive already proven in the last 3 years I dont need any support from anyone at all but I'm allowed to want a companion to share life with. Why do I need to be content doing nothing and hoping the universe shoots something my way. My apologies if my thoughts are all over the place in this I'm not in the best mindset atm while writing this.

[Croix]

Dear Jacobi1911~

Welcome to the Forum. I"m sure if you were to look around the Relationships Area you'd find others in similar circumstances, and maybe how they coped.

Reading of you accomplishments does cause admiration, and you have certainly done well. However I'm not sure that the attributes you apply to this area of life are the ones that a companion might need or look for.

I think you are right to say that simply having sex to interact wiht another is less than satisfying and may not be the way to start a productive long term relationship

The following are my own views, and you can certainly disagree and I'll not be offended.

Rather than think in terms of your needing a companion to share life with you might consider for anyone you start to like to consider what they may want. To see the person in depth, their desires, interests, sense of humor, , fears , and everything else that makes up a person. See what it is on the emotional side that you can offer them. Not worldly success but emotional understanding and the kindnesses that can go with it.

To adopt this is probably a better approach than just 'waiting for the right one to come along' as you have been advised as without taking time to get to know them you might not recognize that right one when they did come.

I hope things do take a turn for the better for you

Croix