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Pregnant and now unsure about partner

B21
Community Member

I recently found out I'm pregnant I've been with my partner 3 years and yet when I told him he didn't seem to care and did not want to talk about it. He has 2 kids to a previous relationship so i didnt think he would be so unsupportive and I can't stop the worry that now that I'm pregnant he will stray as he has been making comments about other women's bodies/being hot on Facebook and TV. He cheated on his ex gf while she was pregnant too and the day after i told him he picked an argument with me about how I haven't been going to the gym and I'm feeling pretty down about it because pregnancy comes with weight gain and now I'm super stressed out that I'm making the wrong choice. He has been okay in other ways but these little comments and knowing his past has really affected me as I don't want that happening to me.

3 Replies 3

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome

 

It's an anxious time when this comes about, comments that make you insecure and lack of comments that make you feel happy. To add to that, a past history of cheating is not the recipe of a sound future.

 

What is the worst case scenario? Well it is of course separation but in another residence you'll have your baby and that will be your main focus. That baby will enlighten your life and depend fully on you. Sure the sadness of the situation of your baby not having a full time biological father to rely on isnt the best situation however, in this world we make mistakes, error of judgement and that is indeed human. 

 

I would monitor his remarks and behaviour all the while knowing that if this deteoriates you have a plan B and that plan is simple- to provide shelter, love and protection for your baby and to allow with as little fanfare as possible, access to that child by his father as his/her dad will be important. 

 

That's the worse case scenario and plan it if things erode away. The thing is- it will be his behaviour and decisions that form his future, monitor it and accept that there is little you can do to influence his attitude. In the next several weeks monitor him and ask questions, try not to be emotional and demanding but inquizative about his future of being a dad again and also his affection and care of you. If those things are not up to standard... your priority can change focus 100% to your baby's care.

 

I think I have taken to track of not sugar coating it but I do hope he responds positively.

 

I hope that helps.

TonyWK

 

 

Guest_1055
Community Member

Congratulations on carrying a new life inside of you. A precious little baby. Celebrate this little life you have been given

 

I cannot really comment much further. Only that he may need to grow up some. I mean no disrespect or anything. 

 

Just be real happy of this new little life and spread it around

B21
Community Member

Thank you for not sugar coating it, it has definitely put my mind at ease that worse case I can do this on my own