Dating a girl with bpd

[Orin]

Hi.. I lied I'm not rlly dating but we arnt really friends we are in between and she's also my ex last week on wensday she came back and apologised to me for everything she did (she turned my friends against me and ruined my life and i had no friends for about a month ) and I accepted and I've been talking with her and she started flirting and stuff and she said she loved me but I know it's not promised  but we were going good till Tuesday this week when she became distant like she barely knew me and she told me that her friends both of them her 2 besties that are both ex's to my best friend told her that she should be ashamed to like someone like me and that she shouldn't date me and since then she's been cold and distant and I really like her and we were planing dates but I can barely get a hold of her when she's alone she's different she's sweet and nice and she does have her own problems but my problem is that i think she's falling out of love she now says she thinks she likes me and she doesn't know what she feels for me and I know it was similar like this in the pass but she knew deep down she did but it's her friends that are telling her this cuase they hate me for no reason I just don't know what to do and I'm asking for help because it's coming a problem for me and my mental health I also struggle with depression so I need some advice of what to do

[Bob_22]

Hi Orin,

Welcome to the forums. I'm sorry that you're finding issues with your relationship with your ex at the moment. It sounds like things have gotten pretty complicated for you. I know when you are in the dating stage it can be quite anxiety provoking. Especially when you don't know what the other person is feeling and they are seemingly hot and cold with you. Unfortunately we can't really control other's emotions and how they feel about us. The best thing to do would be to be your self and let your friend make up their own mind about you. I know it's daunting but it is for the best and if they truly love you, she will come around. Other than that, I would recommend you work on any mental health issues you have at the moment. You mentioned you struggle with depression. 

You can do a quick mental health check in on our website here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/mental-health/depression? 

I would recommend checking out the page and having a look at the support section. It may be worth seeking professional support if you find you are currently struggling to manage your depressive symptoms by yourself.

I hope this helps a bit.

Bob

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome.

It sounds like a confusing and challenging time for you with what has been happening in this relationship.  There are many reason why her friends might be giving her the advice you mention ... and I do not want to speculate here. It also sounds like what they have said to you is hurtful and I would also be wondering why as well. 

What does your head and your heart tell you (to do)? Or what makes more sense to you?

I cannot really tell you what to do.  All we can do is work off the knowledge we have at the moment. And maybe talking with someone about this, whether here, or with a friend or family member you trust, you might find the answers you are looking for. Regarding, I am listening ...