New to BB

[Gpop]

Hi everyone my name is Al,

I am new to this and not too sure where to begin or to express what I am feeling atm. So do I just poor everything out on this forum, as to what has transpired over the last 14 months since finishing my FIFO job. I can’t keep everything bottled up anymore, need to let it out, I am afraid my mental state is not where it should be. Help

[Croix]

Dear Gpop~

That certainly is a very bitter blow. I guess it can be amazing how some one we thought we knew turns out to be completely different - and not in a good way.

Often when there is a breakup one can wonder if one has done the right thing, been fair and even considerate. With a preemptive financial strike like that by the other party you need not be burdened by thinking in those directions.

I'm glad you have your RV, are you planning on telling you children and getting them to support you? Some might feel they are imposing, or have other more personal reasons for not doing so. I'd suggest you do allow them to help however they can, good for them, good for you.

I'm sure you need no advice on the legal situation, now the you know how things stand the next steps are pretty much predictable and professional advice a must.

I would like to ask what you would like to do for the future. I know it is very early days and there is a temptation to just concentrate on the nuts and bolts of separation, however tuning over possibly more pleasant long-term goals in the mind might be helpful.

Croix

[geoff]

Hi Al, I'm sorry about the situation you are in, but you aren't divorced as yet unless I've missed it, so for your personal items are you able to get a couple of mates together to get what you want, all the items she doesn't want, she has given you that opportunity.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Gpop]

Thanks for tan Croix, it been a while since I last posted something. Well it’s all done and dusted now. I had planned to take a trip up to Pilbara to see my children. I left on the 30th of January, I received a.phone call from the other half on the Thursday saying that she had closed her accounts down, withdrew $20k cash advance from my credit card, and she also wanted me to withdraw $100k from my super so that she could boost our term deposit to $200k. I received and email the next morning stating what she had done, she also had taken all the money from my acct and left me 30 cents and not much left on the credit card to live on.

following that I had to apply to my super to withdraw monies to live and put back the $20 into the cr3it card.

what kind of person does that to their partner of 18 years, she has stated she wanted the house and the term deposit, otherwise I won’t be getting my personal stuff back. But now all I am left with atm is my Winnebago, my super and no home, will have to try and find a place but when I do there won’t be much left in the piggy bank to live on, where to from here, it’s bloody depressing

lets say I haven’t agreed to what she wants and that is to have control, which has always been her downfall.

Next step is seeing the lawyer now that I am back in town, we shall see what he comes up with.

thank you for listening

[Croix]

Dear Gpop~

It's a mess. I'm sorry you had to go though it, unfortunately some are simply out for themselves.

Can I suggest that as well as seeing a lawyer it might be an idea to contact Relationships Australia in your locality. They have a post-separation service which includes a lot of very practical advice, or at least they do in my area.

You are facing a completely alien situation and people with experience can point out pitfalls that sometimes lawyers do not.

Now is the time to lean on freinds and family if you can. Your kids might be in an isolated area but even phone or Skype can be a blessing.

Please let us know how you are going

Croix

.

[Gpop]

THanks for that Croix,

your thoughts are muchly appreciated, thank you, one saving grace out of all this mess is I am now out of a toxic relationship, where I am in control of what I’d do from now on.

it has been great talking to my children about this, they are definately on my side on this. Will take your advice and go and see relationships Australia in my local area, thank you once again.

regrds

Gpop

[Croix]

Dear Al~

Your'e very welcome.

You are right about being in control, your decisions now can be made with your own priorities and no interference -a positive.

A great positive too is that your children are there for you, please use them to the max, if there was ever a time to use their strength and cheer now is it.

I'm sure it will not all be smooth sailing, however you will have a better idea of what is in front of you after you get professional advice.

Is it possible to try to split your days so only part deals with separation and the mechanics of getting things sorted, and the other part is completely unrelated, doing things you can come to enjoy and look forward to?

This approach not only can reduce the stress you are undoubtedly feeling but also lend perspective and even self esteem. (That's my recipe anyway)

I hope to hear how you get on

Croix