Need advice please should I stay or move out

[Sam_K]

I don’t know what to do. Feeling really depressed. I have been married 7 years and have two kids one is 6 and second one is just 1 year old . We had a lot of arguments all these years. To start with consider me as worst person in the world so doesn’t sound like I am only blaming her . My wife have temper and can go off at anytime on anything if she thinks it’s wrong and even if I don’t mean it or something was not done deliberately. In our arguments I have said the worst and she did too . I used to stay quite and didn’t say anything back. But everyone have limit but she is always on the limit. I slap her once which was nearly four years ago because she was pushing and shoving me but I have been hit probably about hundred time before this incident and after . But I never hit her after that. One morning I was woken up by slap because her friend and her decided to send me message on yahoo messanger and she thought I did not tell her but I did not even know and I was not even using yahoo messanger and it was more than four years ago. I worked away few time and had to go away but I have never cheated on her or even talked to any women the way I am not supposed to. But I m confessing I have watched porn while I was away . When I was away I went out for drink with 60 yo and 40+ . And I did not told her I was going to the pub with them because he had argument before I left and I was slapped but I still called her that night after few drinks but she got angry because I did not tell her and to this day it’s thrown on my face . But she always says I am doing things behind her back . But I am willing to go through lie detector to prove I have not done anything. My wife had a lot of sexual partners before me ans had kids before me and but when we met I told her I don’t want to know anything about it. It’s past. But I heard a lot after that even number of partner she had which is pretty high . But I still did not care and We had second child after that so our first child doesn’t miss out on us and hopefully that will put bit trust in the relationsh

[Sam_K]

I don’t tell anyone about my stressful life. I don’t talk to my friends or my family member or relative . Just trying to act happy when I am not and I am sick of it . I don’t say anything back and I can’t even answer my Mums call in the house and can’t call her . I have to go outside of the house. I have only Mum left after my grandfather and father passed away three ago. She talks to her mother, father , sister every day atleast one of them but if I call my mother two days straight it’s problem. If she pays the bills she is doing me a favour but when I remind what I pay then I should pay that’s what she say.

[smallwolf]

Hi Sam,

Something in your last message stuck out to me. And please do not feel that you have to answer any questions that I ask in the forums. Also saddened by the position you appear to be in - caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place.

You said that you cannot talk to anyone about your stressful life, and that you act happy.

So my question is this.... what is stopping you from talking to someone about your stressful life?

Me... I did not tell my wife about my stressful work life. But then, for a period of time, I thought that what I was dealing with was normal, that everyone went through the same time. All the while I kept bottling it up, inside of me. Which was clearly not the right thing to do. Because I would crash at some point and I did.

The other questions that I would ask is ... If a friend told you what was happening what would you say to them? Is it healthy for you to hold this in?

I know that what we might say and do can be 2 different things. It can be a head vs the heart sort of thing (at least in me).

Things can get better. Just need to ride out the storm each time it comes.

Peace and comforting thoughts,

Tim