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My wife Left me Sept 21st

Brad49
Community Member
After my wife gave birth I lost connection with her I tried getting it back but couldn't.. She was distant... Next thing I knew I found out she was having a Affair. The first time she came back she said she only did cause she loved me. I tried putting a stop to it.. But the other Guy kept chasing after her.. and she had more and more secret liasons. Until finally in September this year she decided to leave me for the other man.Its been 2 months now . I'm on meds anti depressents and anxiety pills.. I'm doing my best to move on. Its so difficult. The problem is my wife is very nieve(all her friends tell me) and was manipulated into this relationship. She lost all her friends and family by being with this guy.They told her not to do it. And recently I cut her off from access to her son. She has no money no job no government benefits and is sponging off this new boyfriend. The problem is even after everything shes done I still love her very much. I'm dating I'm seeing other women. I'm going to the gym I'm getting trim taught and terrific. I keep on waiting for someone to tell me that my wifes relationship with her boyfriend is over.. I know Affairs don't last long but is it just me thinking that this relationship shes in wont last?
48 Replies 48

Brad49
Community Member

My wifes boyfriend is threatening people with legal action now.Hes already threatened me twice over child custody... And Yesterday he Threatened my wifes old boss .He has a tendency to grab my wifes phone and "take over" for her.I cant even speak to my wife,as a matter of fact noone can that he doesn't want to.Anyway my wifes old boss sent him a text reply telling him how sad he is.. that he manipulated my wife into leaving me and abandoning her son to be with him.It makes me feel so much better ๐Ÿ™‚ hearing all this come from someone else.Its been 4 months and cracks are starting to appear? i hope ๐Ÿ™‚ Dont get me wrong Im at the stage know where i would NEVER take my wife back.I would rather start afresh with someone else that would treat me better then how shes treated me and our son. To be honest i dont love my wife much anymore. Its all starting to fade.I just feel vindicated now. A complete stranger saying exactly the same things i said above in my posts. ๐Ÿ™‚

There
Community Member

Hi Brad,

Thanks for keeping us informed. Firstly Iโ€™d like to commend you on how youโ€™ve handled your situation. It mustโ€™ve been so hard going through that being a single parent. How are you going now?

What you have been saying gives me hope that Iโ€™ll be in the same place as you in a few months time.

J

Brad49
Community Member

A Lot Better ๐Ÿ™‚ Im fit and healthy. The Fittest ive ever been.. Its improved my self esteem drastically ๐Ÿ™‚ Women are really starting to take notice of me ๐Ÿ™‚ I love the attention ๐Ÿ˜›

Ive gotten help with my son. Im seeing the local government childcare.

My sons happy.Happy with daddy.things are getting better and looking good :)t

though the pain of what my wife has done has stayed with me.. Though it has lessened to a point to where it doesnt bother me much now. My wife still drives mr crazy but Everythings good now ๐Ÿ™‚

There
Community Member

Thatโ€™s so good to hear Brad! Iโ€™m so happy for you and your son that things are looking up.

Again your response gives me hope that Iโ€™ll be in the same sitch one day (sooner rather than later).

Thank you for the update ๐Ÿ™‚

Brad49
Community Member

another update.My wife keeps ringing me on the nights when her boyfriends at work. She has said she is thinking of moving into a place by herself. And that she regrets giving up her marriage... Its been 4 months.I think shes trying to come back.. But its too late now. Game over. She has to live with the consequences of her actions.

Her latest conversation with me today ... lets just say She questions everything, rejects what ive got to say and doesnt listen still, Has got my hackles up... Ive really had it with her. Not to mention ive moved on..

Clair01
Community Member
Really pleased you have moved on to a happier place. Must be tough with a small child. My husband moved out a couple of weeks ago.

There
Community Member

Good on you Brad for sticking to your guns! Go you good thing! Iโ€™ll say it again, you give me hope that I can get to the same place so thank you!

Stay strong and to what YOU want. It would be hard to say no I think?

Thanks again for the update.

J x

There
Community Member

Hi Clair.Wind,

That is hard. Iโ€™ve been through a marriage break down and currently dealing with a break up (6-7 weeks out).

How are you going?

J x

Brad49
Community Member

The Key i think is to concentrate on YOU and what makes you happy.Keeping yourself busy helps too.Dont be ashamed to goto the doctor and get Anti-depressants like i did.. They helped.

I think what also really helped for me is putting myself out there on the market and going out on a few dates.It restored my confidence and helped towards my personal happiness. Lots of things you can do. but right now

its time to be selfish and indulge yourself. Its all about YOU

There
Community Member

Thanks Brad for the response. Much appreciated. Iโ€™m so happy you are in a much better place. You really do give me hope.

Move been to the docs about AD. She scared me from taking them. The side affects... so Iโ€™m at the gym almost everyday and eating better (losing those kgs you put on when you get comfortable in a relationship!) so Iโ€™m starting to feel better about myself but it hasnโ€™t stopped the pining and the want for him to come back to me. How do I stop wanting to see his car parked near my apartment when I get home?

How have you been the last few days?

J x