My mum's side of my immediate family is pushing me to suicide

[mikotheawesome]

Basically, this morning my mother asked me if I wanted to go to the beach for Christmas Eve and I said no, because I wasn't in the mood. Then she proceeded to give me the silent treatment and gaslight me into believing she DIDNT do that and I'm the evil one. Then my step-dad came down and borderline yelled at me to clean my room even though it's already clean and the are just little by little pushing me to the edge and I'll either snap or kms and I don't know what to do. I'm 13 and I don't know if I can deal with this for another 5 years. My mother and father are divorced but I can't stay with my dad due to his demanding job in the city. I really don't know what to do. Im having urges that im worried about.

Can anyone help?

[indigo22]

Hi mikotheawsome,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out to us.

I'm sorry to hear how you are feeling, it sounds like there is some tension between you and your parents.

You are at a very difficult age where things don't always make sense, moving from child to teen is full of angst and hormones which make life hard to navigate.

I would like to suggest that aside from talking here on the forums that you also reach out to the helpline below. They also have a chat option if you prefer that to talking. They are there to help so please make use of the service anytime you feel urges that worry you. There can sometimes be a wait to talk to someone, but please don't let that put you off.

Kid's Helpline - available 24/7 - up to age 25 - 1800 55 1800

you will find information on webchat here 

https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling

scroll down the page to find the webchat button to connect.

I hope this helps, and please feel free to keep talking with us too.

You are not alone,

indigo

[mikotheawesome]

Thank you so much

I'm glad someone else understands me because I've been recently getting quite close to suicide and I felt like I just needed somewhere to talk to someone that I didn't know in real life.

Thank you indigo

Miko

[Sol]

Hi Miko,

I understand you said you can't move in with your dad, but have you been able to explain your current situation to him? Perhaps he could help brainstorm a solution, or even just be on your side through it all.

[indigo22]

I do understand Miko,

I began my journey with depression around your age and have had times throughout my life when suicidal ideation crept in and consumed my thoughts. I am now in my 60s and have not thought that way for a number of years but it was a lot  more difficult when I was young. Back then, help was not easily available and mental health was not talked about so there was no awareness. I am glad this is not the case now and help is just a call away.

Just remember to reach out to someone when you are feeling low, you don't need to try to manage it alone.

Chat to me whenever you wish Miko,

indigo

[indigo22]

Hi again Miko,

This is a post I wrote recently and I think it is something that may help you at the moment. There may be some things that you don't yet have a choice with, but not everything.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/the-true-meaning-of-self-love/td-p/613554

Thinking of you,

indigo

[mikotheawesome]

Hi indigo!! 

I really thank you for all your support and help.

However, things have gone quite downhill for me.

My Mother's gotten more controlling and suicidal thoughts have started to raid my head more.

I'm seeking professional help and I'm hoping I survive this bad part of my life

Thank you for your support,

Miko

[indigo22]

Hi Miko,

I'm sorry to hear things are getting on top of you. I am still here when you want to talk more about it.

Have you reached out to your dad to ask if there is any way that he can help?

Also wondering if you have talked to the Kid's Helpline as yet?

This is not something you should be dealing with on your own. You said you are seeking professional help and that's great, have you already got underway with this? Or would you like some help with going about it?

You can definitely survive this, I know it can become unbearable at times, but don't give up on the vision of having a better life in the future, you deserve to give yourself a chance for that vision to become a reality.

I'm here to help and support you so please keep in touch to let me know how you are going and ask me anything you like, I will always do my best to give you the answers you seek.

Hang in there Miko, you are stronger than you realise,

indigo 💜

[Croix]

Dear Miko~

Yes you can survive this, I felt the same as you, with life more and more unbearable and stopping it all by taking my only life seeming the only solution, yes but I'm still here.

A family that has split up is most often difficult for younger people  and if your mother has another partner that makes things more complicated. I know you say she is getting more controlling, do you think either of them have any good points? I had a dad who went to another county where I could never see him and two step-fathers, not an enjoyable expereince.

I got though, the important things was not just trying on my own. I had help, I went and saw a doctor, saw a councilor, and found there were other things in my life. I was taught what to do when I was completely overwhelmed and it worked.

Do you have anyone on your side, a family member or friend perhaps? A councilor or favorite teacher at school? The main thing is not to think you are alone.

You have a couple of bits of good advice, the Kid's Help Line (1800 55 1800), which are the experts in young people's s problems, knowledgeable and comforting. Their phone might seem more difficult to use than texting, but you get better help, shorter waiting times and longer talks. you can be honest with them.

The other is to talk to your dad, even though he is busy I'd expect he would listen to you and understand what you are going though. It really is about the hardest time you will have to face in your life right now, and it gets better, new friends, new activities, new freedoms -and the satisfaction of knowing you can beat the bad times..

I'm not the same person now, and would not give up my life, even if things did not always go right. Telling someone else and getting assistance lifted a huge burden off me, I started to notice some of the nicer things in life (like the pet cat and movies).

On another subject I wondered why you chose Miko, who is a very well known name in Manga and Anime. All the Mikos I saw seem to be characters with strength and are reliable. Would you like to say where you chose it from -it's a good name.

You are not alone here and will always be welcome

Croix