Well before we met she had planned to spend some time overseas, 6 months to a year. Although when we started dating and became serious, we realised that wouldn't really be possible. I don't have the money to do that, and I wouldn't want her to be gone for 6months to a year. I've tried long distance and it doesn't work. Basically I said you have to choose between travelling or keeping the relationship. You would think that she would love me enough to not want to leave anyway....?
Anyway we dealt with that and moved on but recently we had to cancel a holiday that we were planning at the end of the year because what she wanted to do was too expensive and thats what started all this. This is what sparked all of her comments like 'i feel like you're holding me back', 'i don't want to put my life on pause','two years is too long to wait for our lives to align'
Because of her anxiety and depression sometimes it's hard for me to know if she genuinely feels this way or if she just says them when she's having one of her bad days. Since then she has basically just forgotten and gone back to normal. 95% of the time we are totally fine but then something like this comes out of nowhere that makes me really concerned that one day she'll just walk out for a reason that doesn't make sense to me.
Another example would be when we had been together for about 3months, she said that she doesn't think she is good enough for me, and that she won't be able to make me happy in the future and that she would be doing me a favour by leaving me. So we decided to go on a 'break'. Then the next day she did a total 180 and said oh no forget about that whole 'break' thing I wanna see you again.
