My Girlfriend broke up with me because of her parents
Hi, first time posting but I wanted to see if anyone has been through a similar situation.
My girlfriend broke up with me with a single text message two months ago after little to no communication for a month prior.
Her parents disapproved of the relationship to the point where they physically assaulted her for having feelings for me.
Since the breakup I’ve talked to a friend of hers who says she is happy, and that she wants to find another boyfriend which her parents will approve of.
In the breakup text she said I hurt her, which is something that I would never want to happen because I love her and still do. She blocked me on all social media and told me not to contact her.
I have felt terrible about this for months now and I miss her so much. Everyone tells me I did nothing wrong but if that’s the case, why did she leave me?
Has this happened to anyone else? Did they come back to you in the future?
Any view would help, I just want to try make sense of this.
Thank you so much for opening up on our forums, welcome. I'm fresh out of a relationship as of a few days ago, so I very much understand your feelings. Break-ups really are tough.
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. To be broken up over text after months with little to no contact must be gut-wrenching. Mine was a slow-burning break-up, I can't even imagine how it would feel to have it end so suddenly with minimal explanation.
It's not your fault. It sounds to me like it was inevitable, based on her parents' reaction to her relationship. It's a tough situation because she's blocked you, as it would be nice for your sake to get some further closure on why she's ended things. If you have mutual friends and feel comfortable enough, you could even ask them to relay her words about why she's decided to break up with you.
I know it feels tough at the moment, but you could try thinking about this situation as an opportunity for self-development or exploration. I've found that keeping myself occupied with other tasks or hobbies has really helped distract me if I need it, or on the flip side, cause me to reflect and understand the situation better. Music has also really been therapeutic for me, there are a few good Lewis Capaldi songs that capture the essence of what I'm feeling quite well.
I hope this insight is somewhat helpful, please feel free to have a further chat if you have more to ask, say, or get off your chest. We're here for you.
All the best, SB
Hello JRRabbit, I'm sorry this has happened to you and sometimes it makes us scratching our head why.
If this g/friend had her parents assault her then they may have total control over her, whether it's religious or ethnic you may not know.
It's not right for her parents to agree with whom she goes out with, simply because she may only be doing this to please them but not herself, and who knows whether or not any long term r/lationship will succeed.
Friends may be saying that she is happy, perhaps she is only pretending and her parents could be controlling her mobile, so she has to be careful who she contacts.
She may eventually decide to contact you, but remember you will have to communicate with her parents and whether this is something you want to do or look elsewhere.
Music can be very therapeutic, as I also used it, however, sometimes it can strick a nerve when you may break down in disappointment, which happened to me on many occasion.
“she wants to find another boyfriend which her parents will approve of” - good luck with that, by the sounds of it I think she’s going to have a hard time finding someone they approve of as they don’t seem particularly easy to please. Their physical assault of her is even more concerning. As hard as it is, I think they have inadvertently done you a favor. Could you imagine having to deal with them as your in-laws for the rest of your life? It would only get worse the deeper you got into that relationship, and they sound incredibly unstable at best if not downright abusive. Unfortunately parents such as that wield their power over their children purely because they can. They pretend it’s for their child’s best interest but it rarely is (the fact they are willing to physically assault her shows that), usually it’s just so they can just push their agenda. As hard as it is, I think you need to start looking at this as the blessing as it is. You don’t want a partner who is forbidden to do anything and has to get her parents approval for everything, it’s no way to live.
Theres an apt saying "blood is thicker than water". Meaning her family bond is strong regardless of her issues with them. That may change in years to come when she resents them.
I think you'll feel grief for a while but eventually you'll recover and find someone more suitable. As Juliet said- it isn't your fault.