My Gfs mum betrayed my trust

[Lijah]

So a few months ago, I told my gfs mum that I had been a victim of CSA. I have never been vulnerable with anyone except my previous gfs and I decided to be vulnerable with her. She then went on to tell everyone in her family. Which really disheartened me. Then a few weeks go by and my gfs mum then says to my gf which she tells me(she has a son to another person just for clarification and I love him to bits). She says that her mum told her not to leave her son alone with me at all. Now I have never and will never do anything to anyone. But when she told me that her mum said this; I broke down crying for the whole night and for the rest of the week and even now I feel so angry and depressed that someone could say this about me. And also to be vulnerable with someone and for them to say that about me just broke me to bits. I’m so confused as to where to go with the relationship as I love her and she loves me but I just don’t know how to move past that. 

[Scared]

Thats hard and im angry at this person too

I assume this mother thinks victims of CSA become purpetrators of SA which is just bullshit.  This hurtful pea brain woman has wounded you and I dont blame you.  Yes this is a betrayal of high order and Im upset in hearing this.

You are among friends here to talk to because we understand hurt well.

This pea brain owes you an apology as this type of gossip leads to mental health issues if left to fester unattended.

I would tell your girlfriend how wounded you are for start.  Also find support around you of people you trust and know you.

I feel your pain

There are lovely kind people on here and i hope they reply as they may help you more than i know how

[sbella02]

Lijah, I'm so incredibly sorry to hear about your past and your current situation. Nobody deserves to go through that kind of trauma. And to have somebody treat your trauma with such ignorance must feel so violating.

Firstly, start an open conversation with your girlfriend about how you're feeling - how her sharing your personal trauma was hurtful to begin with, then to hear comments like that from her mother has elevated that hurt. If she cannot understand your perspective, this may reveal a lot about your relationship. If she is understanding and considerate about you sharing this, you can discuss how to move forward, if this is something you'd both like to do. At the end of the day, it is a betrayal of trust, so it may be a case of needing to step back from her for a little while, or just working to repair the trust but staying together. How you go about this is up to you, but just remember that you're entitled to personal boundaries with regards to what you're prepared to accept and work through in your relationship.

Have you approached a GP, therapist, or psych about this at all? It may help to hear some professional advice about your situation, and even about processing what has happened in your past if that would be something you'd like to do.

I hope this helps, please continue chatting with us if you'd like. We're here to support you.

Take care, SB